Quotes for
Det. Kevin Ryan (Character)
from "Castle" (2009)

"Castle: The Blue Butterfly (#4.14)" (2012)

Luella McManus: Stan's dead? Well that's just great, what am I supposed to do with all his crap?
Kevin Ryan: We'll be taking... some of it off your hands as part of our investigation.

Kevin Ryan: When was the last time you saw him?
Luella McManus: Oh, this morning. Stan was all smiles: gave notice he was moving out 'cause his ship was comin' in.
Kevin Ryan: What ship?
Luella McManus: Oh, I dunno, the Titanic from the looks of things.
Javier Esposito: [Handing McManus a business card] Well if you can remember anything else can you give me a call?
Luella McManus: [Turns and leaves without taking the card] Don't hold your breath, hot shot.
Kevin Ryan: [to Esposito] I think she likes you.

Kevin Ryan: The boss wants to see you boyo.

---

"Castle: Always Buy Retail (#1.6)" (2009)

NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: [Castle after mentioning having sex with his ex-wife and comparing her moving back to New York to] A deep-fried Twinkie?
Richard Castle: Yeah, the guilty pleasure that you know is bad for you, so you only do it once, maybe twice a year for the novelty. But the deep-fried Twinkie everyday is...
[Beckett stops him from continuing]
Kate Beckett: Castle!

[the detectives and Castle are looking at a corpse whose body was evidently prepared according to some ritual]
Richard Castle: It's Vodou.
Javier Esposito: Vodou? What is that? Some kind of Star Trek thing?
[He grins mockingly]
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: No, dude, it's a religion. Practiced primarily in West Africa.
[When the others look at him]
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: What? I read, too!
Richard Castle: The, uh, blood on the bone? Most likely animal. Part of the ceremony. The pouch is an offering to the spirits; but I don't recognize this symbol.
Javier Esposito: If you did, you'd be a suspect. So how do you know about all this?
Richard Castle: Research for my sixth Derek Storm novel.
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Unholy Storm.
Richard Castle: Yes. Thank you. And, uh, Vodou's not just limited to West Africa. It's also practiced by Haitian and Dominican communities right here in New York.

NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Why would a guy mark his own stall with the death symbol?
Richard Castle: He wouldn't. This symbol was meant for him. Charles Oni's been marked for death.

---

"Castle: Home Is Where the Heart Stops (#1.7)" (2009)

NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Why do you writers always call them "perps"?
Richard Castle: Isn't that what you call them?
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Ah, we've got a whole lot of names for them. Pipehead, pisshead, orc, creep,
NYPD Detective Javier Esposito: Crook, knucklehead, chucklehead,
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Churd, turd,
NYPD Detective Javier Esposito: Destro, scall,
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Skexy, slicko, slick,
NYPD Detective Javier Esposito: Mope,
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Sleekstak.
Richard Castle: [scribbling in his notepad] Slow down, slow down!

NYPD Detective Javier Esposito: [Working security at the fundraiser] Man, these guys are guilty of tax evasion not home invasion.
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Yeah, well
[sees Beckett in her formal dress]
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: Appearances can be deceiving.
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: [to Beckett] Nice dress.
NYPD Detective Javier Esposito: Yeah, what there is of it.
NYPD Detective Kate Beckett: I'd let you borrow it, Esposito, but you stretched out the last one.

NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: [sneezes]
Richard Castle: [and Beckett at the same time] Bless you!
Richard Castle: Jinx!
Kate Beckett: What's with him?
NYPD Detective Javier Esposito: Goose-down. He's allergict.
Richard Castle: I'm sorry, but under the time-honored rules of jinx, you're not allowed to speak until I release you.
NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: [sneezes]
Richard Castle: [and Beckett at the same time] Bless you!
Kate Beckett: Reverse double-jinx.
Richard Castle: But I...
Kate Beckett: Uh-uh Castle, mouth shut. Until I release you.

---

"Castle: A Deadly Affair (#3.1)" (2010)

[seeing a cardboard cutout of Castle in a bookstore window]
Kevin Ryan: He really is ruggedly handsome.

Kate Beckett: [Castle was discovered at a crime scene with a gun in his hands] So you, being the expert veteran of dozens of crime scenes, decided to pick up the murder weapon to what, ensure that we had your prints?
Richard Castle: Maybe you missed the part where I said she was shot dead. When I heard the noises coming from the next room, I thought whoever killed her was coming back. So I picked up the gun to defend myself. It seemed like a very good idea at the time. That's when you, Esposito, and Annie Oakley come bursting through the door.
Captain Roy Montgomery: [in the observation room with Ryan and Esposito] Annie Oakley?
Kevin Ryan: I... kind of almost shot Castle.
[seeing Montgomery's look]
Kevin Ryan: What? He had a gun.

---

"Castle: An Embarrassment of Bitches (#4.13)" (2012)

Kate Beckett: [having agreed to temporarily keep the victim's dog at NYPD] There's got to be some food for him at Francisco's place. Who wants to make a run for it?
Javier Esposito: [derisive snort] To go get dog food?
[Beckett nods]
Javier Esposito: Castle.
Richard Castle: Ryan.
Kevin Ryan: Esposito.

Kate Beckett: We have reason to suspect that our killer was wearing your perfume.
Kay Cappuccio: Well, that's impossible. It wasn't even out yet. I'm the only person who had it.
Kevin Ryan: [watching with Esposito in the observation room] Does she realize she just incriminated herself?

---

"Castle: Kick the Ballistics (#4.4)" (2011)

Richard Castle: You know, Ryan, none of this is your fault. The fact that he used your gun...
Kevin Ryan: That weapon was issued to me by the City of New York. I let it out of my hand and now a girl is dead. So please do not tell me that it's not my fault.

Kevin Ryan: When I started in Narcotics, I was so green. I-I didn't know how things got done. One day, there's this major bust - street gang cooking meth. They're stacking up guys in the bullpen, taking their statements one by one. Place is a zoo. I'm answering phones in the squad. Girl on the line, name of Alisha, asking for my lieutenant. So I call out across the bullpen "Hey lou, Alisha's on the phone for you."
[Beckett laughs]
Kevin Ryan: It was her tip that got these guys nailed, and all of them just heard me call out her name. Searched all day and all night, looking for her before the gang could get word back to the street that she was a narc.
Kate Beckett: Well, did you find her?
Kevin Ryan: I did. Got her into witness protection, but... that was the stupidest thing I'd ever done as a cop. Until the day Jerry Tyson got the drop on me and stole my weapon.

---

"Castle: He's Dead, She's Dead (#3.2)" (2010)

Richard Castle: Did I hear you right? Our victim is Vivien Marchand, the psychic medium?
Kevin Ryan: You've heard of her?
Richard Castle: Yeah! She was very popular in certain Manhattan circles. As a matter of fact, she did a reading for me at a society party about eight years ago. It was pretty extraordinary.
Kate Beckett: Extraordinary?
Richard Castle: She got everything right. You know what? Come to think of it, she told me that a beautiful woman would one day move into my loft and stay with me forever. She neglected to mention it was my mother.

Kevin Ryan: [looking at their victim's business calendar] She's got a notation here for three p.m. yesterday. It just says "T.J."
Kate Beckett: And nothing else?
Kevin Ryan: Nope. Maybe T.J. was a ghost coming to visit. Mediums are the ones that can see ghosts, right, Castle?
Richard Castle: Yes. Psychics can tell the future, mediums can tell the future and talk to the dead.
Kate Beckett: That's like saying psychics are con artists, and mediums are con artists and charlatans. I mean, in the end, they're all just fakes.
Richard Castle: You sound pretty certain of yourself.
Kate Beckett: That's because when I started as a cop, I wasted a lot of time on clairvoyants calling tip lines with information that never lead to anything. I mean, I'm surprised you're so gullible.
Richard Castle: I'm not saying I can speak with the dead. I'm just willing to admit that there are people in this world who are more sensitive than me.
Kate Beckett: Now, that's not hard to believe.
Richard Castle: [realizing Beckett just insulted him] Walked right into that one.

---

"Castle: Tick, Tick, Tick... (#2.17)" (2010)

Kate Beckett: Castle just finished making breakfast and he went to the door...
Kevin Ryan: What kind of breakfast?
Kate Beckett: Um, I'm sorry?
Kevin Ryan: What kind of breakfast was he making?
Kate Beckett: Pancakes.
Kevin Ryan: Well isn't that domestic.
Kate Beckett: [annoyed] Anyway, the paper usually arrives at four and we were up at seven so that means the killer had a three hour window where he could have left the body there unnoticed.
Kevin Ryan: Uh-huh, and exactly what time did you and Mr. Castle go to bed last night?
Kate Beckett: I think we're done here.

Javier Esposito: Dude, I see Beckett in her jammies, wine glasses on the table...
Richard Castle: There's nothing going on with Beckett and me! No more than there was yesterday.
Kevin Ryan: Dude, you made her pancakes?
Richard Castle: It's just breakfast!
Javier Esposito: Pancakes is not just breakfast, it's an edible way of saying, 'Thank you SO much for last night.'
Kevin Ryan: Castle, come on, we're your friends- details.
Richard Castle: Okay, come here.
[the boys form a huddle]
Richard Castle: There are no details!
Javier Esposito: I can't even look at you right now.
Kevin Ryan: [writing on his notepad] Witness refuses to cooperate.

---

"Castle: Deep in Death (#2.1)" (2009)

NYPD Captain Roy Montgomery: [after the morgue... mobile is hit by a car, Lanie the Medical Examiner is seeing if Castle is okay] Well?
Lanie Parish: [after flashing a light in Castle's eyes and pinching his ear] He'll live.
Kevin Ryan: What, no brain damage?
Lanie Parish: If he has some, it happened before tonight and it was probably self-inflicted.
Richard Castle: Ahh, good times.

Richard Castle: [a body is up in a tree] It's raining men.
Lanie Parish: Castle, what are you doing here?
Kate Beckett: Don't worry, we're still mad at him.
Kevin Ryan: [to Esposito] Guy in a tree, Mom and Dad bickering, seems like old times.

---

"Castle: The Fifth Bullet (#2.11)" (2009)

Kevin Ryan: You mean ice hole.

Kevin Ryan: You mean ice bullet.

---

"Castle: Nikki Heat (#3.11)" (2011)

Kevin Ryan: [watching Natalie, who is dressed like Beckett, in the bullpen] We really should have a code word so we all know which Beckett to kill when her clone army attacks.
Kate Beckett: Unless we make a preemptive strike.

[Castle, Beckett, and Ryan are huddled together in the break room]
Javier Esposito: What are you guys doing?
Kevin Ryan: Hiding from creepy Beckett.

---

"Castle: One Man's Treasure (#2.10)" (2009)

Kate Beckett: Yeah, well, never underestimate the fragility of the male ego.
Kevin Ryan: Oh, see? That's just a stero...
Richard Castle: Don't. Don't. That's... She's baiting us, all right? Just ignore her and she'll lose her witchy powers.
Kate Beckett: You wish.

---

"Castle: Vampire Weekend (#2.6)" (2009)

NYPD Detective Kevin Ryan: [At Castle's Halloween party, Ryan says to Castle] You throw a great shindig, for a 19th-century poet, Mr. Poe.

---

"Castle: Knockdown (#3.13)" (2011)

Captain Roy Montgomery: [after Beckett compromises her objectivity] As of this moment, you two are running point on Raglan's homicide.
Javier Esposito: Uh... Captain, my partner and I don't wish to be insubordinate.
Kevin Ryan: But we respectfully decline the assignment.
Captain Roy Montgomery: What does it say on my badge?
Javier Esposito: "Captain".
Captain Roy Montgomery: Now read the fine print. It says get your ass out there and solve Raglan's murder, before I bust you both back down to Traffic.
Javier Esposito, Kevin Ryan: Yes, sir.
Captain Roy Montgomery: You want to help her? Find that shooter. Solve the damn case.

---

"Castle: Secret Santa (#5.9)" (2012)

Kevin Ryan: We're putting up the tree the other day, sand Jenny says to me, "It just doesn't feel like Christmas without kids. She wants to try. But I come to work. I watch the news everyday. It seems like the world's falling apart. How am I supposed to bring a kid into that?
Javier Esposito: The world's always falling apart, bro. Since the beginning of time. But having kids, making a family, that's what keeps it together.

---

"Castle: The Limey (#4.20)" (2012)

Richard Castle: [Castle wheels in a white board] OK boys, here it is.
Kevin Ryan: Here's what?
Richard Castle: My foolproof plan for getting Nigel's fingerprint. Nigel lives in a high-rise apartment, here on Park Avenue.
Javier Esposito: High security.
Richard Castle: Exactly. Ryan, you'll be here, front door, dressed as a flower delivery boy. Esposito, you'll be here, dressed as a hobo.
Javier Esposito: Question: why does the brown man gotta be the hobo?
Richard Castle: You want the flowers?
Javier Esposito: Hobo it is.
Richard Castle: You guys will cause a distraction here, while I... rapelle down the side of the building, with Nikolai.
Kevin Ryan: Who's Nikolai?
Richard Castle: He's a Romanian gymnast I met on YouTube. He's extremely flexible, and fits right in the duffle bag, with a glass cutter.

---

"Castle: Demons (#4.6)" (2011)

Richard Castle: I don't know, but I think it's time we found out.
Kate Beckett: Knock yourself out, Castle.
Richard Castle: You're not coming?
Kate Beckett: No. I've got a murder to solve.
Kevin Ryan: I'll go.
Richard Castle: [Talking about Beckett] Oh. That's a look.
Kevin Ryan: Yeah.
Richard Castle: I get these a lot. Just start walking. Faster.

---

"Castle: Countdown (#3.17)" (2011)

Richard Castle: How'd you find us?
Javier Esposito: Oh, Alexis called. Said you didn't come home.
Richard Castle: Alexis? She's supposed to be out of town.
Javier Esposito: I guess she came back. We figured you were with Beckett, until Josh called.
Kevin Ryan: We thought you must be out there doing something incredibly stupid against orders, so we sent patrol units everywhere we figured you'd be moronic enough to go. Found Beckett's car, and searched the area until we found the light from the storage container.
Richard Castle: Well, I'm glad my stupidity's predictable.

---

"Castle: Famous Last Words (#2.7)" (2009)

Richard Castle: Do you still have truant officers?
Roy Montgomery: [shrugs] Budget cuts.
Richard Castle: You are so lucky.
Javier Esposito: Found your stalker. Franco Marquez, AKA Frankie Markie. Hayley filed half a dozen complaints against him. Says here that he even tried to break into her apartment and when she filed against him he showed up in court and called her a...
[stops, looks at Castle and Alexis]
Javier Esposito: - B I T C H.
Richard Castle: She can spell, Detective.
Kevin Ryan: Probably better then you!

---

"Castle: Cops & Robbers (#4.7)" (2011)

Kate Beckett: Esposito! There's a 10-30 at New Amsterdam Bank and Trust on Lex. Call Dispatch.
Kevin Ryan: 10-30? Since when are we handling bank robbery calls?
Kate Beckett: Castle's there.

---

"Castle: Sucker Punch (#2.13)" (2010)

Javier Esposito: Meet the late Jack Coonan.
Kate Beckett: Why is that name familiar?
Kevin Ryan: 'Cause it probably crossed all our desks a dozen times in the last few years. Aggravated assault, ADW, arson.
Javier Esposito: Coonan had a heavy rep. Word is he's an enforcer for the Westies.
Lanie Parish: Okay, remind me. Who are the Westies again?
Richard Castle: Irish mafia out of Hell's Kitchen.
Kate Beckett: They deal in cargo theft, counterfeiting, extortion.
Kevin Ryan: And public urination on St. Patrick's Day.

---

"Castle: The Dead Pool (#3.21)" (2011)

Kevin Ryan: Check out the text messages that Bridget fired off to Zack on the night he was killed.
Richard Castle: Ooh! Not a lot of "LoLs" in there.
Kate Beckett: "Zack, if you leave me, I swear to God I'll kill you."
Richard Castle: She has a way with words.
Kate Beckett: And a record to go with it.
Kevin Ryan: Disorderly conduct. Mostly minor stuff. Uniforms are bringing her in now.
Captain Roy Montgomery: It says here she's 5'2". You really think she could overpower Zack?
Kevin Ryan: Uh, no. But her brothers could. In grand Irish tradition, she has four of them. Each over six foot, each with his own claim to fame. Assault.
Richard Castle: Ooh.
Kevin Ryan: Ag assault.
Richard Castle: Bad.
Kevin Ryan: ADW.
Richard Castle: Yee.
Kevin Ryan: Battery. Assault on a city employee, parking enforcement.
Richard Castle: Doesn't count.
Captain Roy Montgomery: Easy.
Kevin Ryan: Dude.

---

"Castle: Knockout (#3.24)" (2011)

Richard Castle: Who's Napolitano?
Kevin Ryan: Oh, he worked with Raglan on a couple of drug busts. But he was at his daughter's wedding the night Bob Armen was shot, so he's not our third cop.
Richard Castle: Where is he now?
Javier Esposito: He died of heart failure, back in 1993. Why are you asking about Napolitano?
Richard Castle: Uh... he and Raglan are listed as the arresting officers on this report. But... this has been altered.
Javier Esposito: What?
Kevin Ryan: How can you tell?
Richard Castle: Because I know typewriters. Older typewriters use cloth ribbon. If you look closely, you can see the striations in the typeface. Newer typewriters used film ribbon. Someone whited-out the assisting officer's name on this report, photocopied it, and then typed in Napolitano's name. It's a cover-up, literally.
Javier Esposito: I'll be damned.

---

"Castle: Lucky Stiff (#3.14)" (2011)

Kate Beckett: Any idea how much money was in here?
Reginald Easley: $100,000, secured in a bank bag.
Kevin Ryan: Uh, this is Reginald Easley. He's Mr. Hixton's servant.
Reginald Easley: "Servant"? Young man, I am a traditional English butler. I apprenticed at Buckingham Palace.
Kate Beckett: Did he always keep that much hard cash in the safe?
Reginald Easley: Mr. Hixton came from an impoverished background. He found having hard currency around reassuring.
Kate Beckett: How many people knew that it was there?
Reginald Easley: Dozens, no doubt. He had a habit of buying everything in sight. No thought to how much money he was flashing around, or how dangerous it was to tell people that there was plenty more of it at home.
Richard Castle: In New York, that's like inviting someone back to your house to kill you.

---

"Castle: To Love and Die in L.A. (#3.22)" (2011)

Captain Roy Montgomery: You heard from Beckett?
Javier Esposito: No, sir.
Kevin Ryan: Yeah, me neither.
Captain Roy Montgomery: She's not answering her cell.
Javier Esposito: Maybe she's airborne.
Kevin Ryan: Yeah, that would explain her phone being turned off.
Captain Roy Montgomery: Oh. You know, I'm trying to decide who is the worse liar. Him or you.
[Esposito nods at Ryan]

---

"Castle: The Late Shaft (#2.20)" (2010)

Kevin Ryan: Once we suspected blackmail, I ran through his financials again.
Kate Beckett: I thought they were clean.
Kevin Ryan: Well, they were. But going back, we found this.
[hands Beckett a folder]
Kate Beckett: He spent a hundred grand on a kitchen reno.
Kevin Ryan: Totally legitimate, but we searched his brownstone.
Richard Castle: And he wasn't renovating his kitchen.
Kate Beckett: So who was on the receiving end of the hundred grand?
Kevin Ryan: Zack Robinson.
Richard Castle: Ooh, good bad guy name. Snaky "z", hard "k." Even has "rob" in it.

---

"Castle: Wrapped Up in Death (#2.19)" (2010)

Kevin Ryan: Do you want to?
Javier Esposito: No, go ahead bro, you caught it.
Kevin Ryan: You sure?
Kate Beckett: You know, whenever you guys are done being cute.

---

"Castle: Law & Murder (#3.19)" (2011)

Kevin Ryan: "Cowards die many times before their death. The valiant never taste of death but once."
Javier Esposito: Bro, you're not Castle.
Kevin Ryan: Yeah, I know I'm not Castle.
Javier Esposito: Then stop trying to talk like him.
Kevin Ryan: What, I'm not allowed to reference the Bard? I'm a renaissance man.
Javier Esposito: Memorizing one quote does not make you a renaissance man.
Kevin Ryan: What if I memorize two?
Javier Esposito: Have you? Memorized two?
Kevin Ryan: No. But what if I did?
Javier Esposito: Depends on the quote.

---

"Castle: The Double Down (#2.2)" (2009)

[Kate, Esposito, and Ryan are stuck on their respective cases]
Kate Beckett: We've been over these cases so many times, it's hard to see straight anymore. All right. We'll start over. Fresh eyes. You take our murder, we'll take yours.
Javier Esposito: All right.
Richard Castle: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Say that again.
Kate Beckett: You take our murder, we'll take yours.
Richard Castle: Could it be that easy? You take mine, I'll take yours.
Javier Esposito: What are you getting at, Castle?
Richard Castle: "Strangers on a Train".
Kevin Ryan: The Hitchcock movie?
Richard Castle: I'm partial to the novel by Patricia Highsmith, but yes. We have two strong suspects, but with airtight alibis, right?
[Castle takes pictures of suspects off the murder board]
Javier Esposito: Right.
Richard Castle: We know they're connected. What if the connection is the killers?
Kate Beckett: Jason and Eric committed each other's murders.
Richard Castle: And made sure they had an airtight alibi for the murder they knew they'd be suspected of. It's not our victims who are connected. It's our murderers. Crisscross!

---

"Castle: Anatomy of a Murder (#3.5)" (2010)

Kate Beckett: Our victim's student loans. Since graduating med school, Dr. Monroe has been regularly making minimum amount payments on her $440,000 student loan.
Kevin Ryan: That's how much it costs to become a doctor? Glad I became a cop.

---

"Castle: Hell Hath No Fury (#1.4)" (2009)

Kevin Ryan: You're telling me you've lived in New York your whole life and you've never scored a piece of roadkill?
Javier Esposito: "Roadkill"?
Kevin Ryan: It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. Artists, students, former hedge-fund managers... It's trickle-down economics at its finest.
Javier Esposito: Yeah, well, I prefer not to be trickled on.
Kevin Ryan: You know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?
Javier Esposito: Don't you say it, bro.
Kevin Ryan: Fifty-fourth and Lex.
Javier Esposito: That's gross. Gross. We are never playing Madden at your place again.

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