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Quotes for
Reverend Putty (Character)
from "Moral Orel" (2005)

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"Moral Orel: Satan (#2.3)" (2006)
Reverend Putty: Yes, well, the Lord's logic is very complex when it comes to hating nipples. You see, with men, he...


"Moral Orel: The Best Christmas Ever! (#1.1)" (2005)
Reverend Putty: You know, during this joyous season, it is easy to forget the true meaning of Christmas. What Christmas is really about is the birth of the cute little baby who would grow up to die an unbelievably horrible death for our sins. You know who I'm talkin about: Jesus, our Saviour! Born from an attractive, young virgin named Mary. Jesus was an unplanned birth that really made a name for itself. Like if Joseph had refused to let the baby grow within Mary, who knows what this building would be right now... maybe even a synagogue! But because Joseph had the moral goodness to raise the "surprise;" we are safe and warm here in a Protestant church. Amen, and merry Christmas...


"Moral Orel: God-Fearing (#1.7)" (2006)
Orel: But he's God, Reverend. Isn't everthing He does good?
Reverend Putty: No. Not by a long shot! Everything He does is right but that's very different. Now, do us all a favor and repent before you make the whole town go up in flames.
Orel: I sure will. Bye, Reverend. And thanks. Now I know that God is the scariest monster of all on Halloween.
Reverend Putty: But also remember that the Lord's terror is not just for one day. You must keep it in your heart all year round.


"Moral Orel: God's Chef (#1.10)" (2006)
Reverend Putty: Principal Fakey is right, Orel. Regular murder is bad enough, but in one disgusting act you murdered millions of potential people.
Orel: Whoops.
Reverend Putty: Whoops is right. That's a major sin, my boy.
Orel: But, I didn't know.
Reverend Putty: Orel, haven't you heard the handy rhyme? Number One, gold like God made the sun. Number Two, good Lord help me go poo. Number Three, the devil sets my sperm free.