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Quotes for
Burgundy Smith (Character)
from "The Westerner" (1960)

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"The Westerner: The Courting of Libby (#1.6)" (1960)
Libby: Mr. Smith, you are in liquor!
Burgundy Smith: Ohhh, evil companions, my dear, pressed it upon me.
Dave Blassingame: Oh, Miss Libby, are you-are you acquainted with this reptile here? Reptile, I s...!
Libby: No, David, please, no violence.
Burgundy Smith: Don't I... yes, yes, I believe I do. I know this miserable cinnamon slip. His name is Dave Blassingame, bless my immortal soul.

[Dave is distracted by the sounds of his dog chasing three cats around Mark's general store]
Libby: I asked if you and Mr. Smith were acquainted?
Burgundy Smith: Ah, he's lost his power of speech - a sure sign of incipient brain failure. Come, my dear.

Dave Blassingame: Smith, you're lookin' at a man in love. I mean, the cow jumped over the moon and I'm ridin' on that self-same animal. Smith, it is somthin' so good, I want to holler, I want to jump... ah, Burgundy, you oughta try it. You got to. Now just look at me.
Burgundy Smith: You're-you're a mountain spring. You're a budding tree. You're a creature without wool. A thing of splendor.
Dave Blassingame: Well said, Smith.
Burgundy Smith: Thirty dollars?
Dave Blassingame: Give me some of that sweet oil, will ya?

Burgundy Smith: Three dollars and four bits. Where's the rest of it?
Dave Blassingame: That's it.
Burgundy Smith: Three dollars and four bits?
Dave Blassingame: You can take it all, Burgundy, with my blessing.
Burgundy Smith: What good is this amount going to do me?
Dave Blassingame: You can go get drunk - it might kill the pain when they beat on you.

Burgundy Smith: You really earnest about gettin' married?
Dave Blassingame: I am, I am.
[Burgundy groans and church bells start to ring in the background]
Dave Blassingame: Listen! Won't be long now, they'll be ringin' for me.
Burgundy Smith: Blassingame, think! No more the joy of dollar liquor trickling down your parched throat - she'll put a stop to that. No more the joy of thrusting yourself into the maw of chance. She'll have you tied, boy - apron string and plow. She'll make you quit everything you enjoy - even other women!

"The Westerner: The Painting (#1.13)" (1960)
[Dave admires Burgundy's portrait of a nude woman]
Dave Blassingame: That's a woman!
Burgundy Smith: She is a woman all right, and that's just it. Her pleasant poetry turned shrill. She cried for marriage.
Dave Blassingame: Well, what's the matter with that?
Burgundy Smith: Ah, no. Oh, for the small span of an evening, maybe two, even a week, a woman's cool hand... she's delicious, the breath of life. A woman nameless is a respite from the hard travail of life. A woman new, sloe-eyed, silent, temporary. My raison-dete is my grail. It's my sweetest vessel. It's everything. But, Dave, a woman permanent, as a helpmate, as a life-long companion... oh, no, Dave, a woman as a wife - a downright catastrophe. Naw, I had too much of a good thing. Ah, me.

[Dave, Burgundy and the painting are surrounded by a posse]
Dave Blassingame: Well, you done it again, Smith. You fixed the Blassingame wagon
Burgundy Smith: We go out together, Dave. That's a comfort!
Dave Blassingame: [unconvinced] Surrre.

Posse rider: Hey you down there! You want to parley?
Dave Blassingame: Yes. Yes that's just what we want to do! You come on in!
Burgundy Smith: Traitor!
Dave Blassingame: They can perforate your hide, Smith, not mine! I'm just here for the ride and three hundred dollars, that's all.
Burgundy Smith: Blassingame, you're a coward.
Dave Blassingame: Yup!
Burgundy Smith: You've got the guts of a lop-eared field mouse.
Dave Blassingame: No, I ain't and you best make your peace, Smith, and make it now!

Dave Blassingame: Smith, I hate to do this, but I got to hand it to you. That was the most deep-dyed in the wool, fancy-gaited, copper-plated job of fast-talkin' I've ever heard in all my born days. You had me wishin' I was you. Matter of fact, you even had me believin' it!
Burgundy Smith: You can believe it, Dave boy, believe it. Ain't she a darb, though.
Dave Blassingame: Oh, yeah, she's all you said and even more.
Burgundy Smith: Yeah!
Dave Blassingame: Now, you ain't really going to marry her, are you?
Burgundy Smith: Yes I will, Dave. Yes I will.
Dave Blassingame: Aw, Burgundy...
Burgundy Smith: That is the most woman since Eve bit the apple. I love her!
Dave Blassingame: Well, sure, fine, but marriage... that's-that's for always.
Burgundy Smith: Yep. Through the years.
Dave Blassingame: Smith, a woman is for an evening, maybe two...
Burgundy Smith: Eternity!
Dave Blassingame: Oh, come on, Smith. A woman temporary - that's the cry, ain't it?
Burgundy Smith: Yesss.
Dave Blassingame: Why sure, that's what you told me.
Burgundy Smith: Yeah, I did, didn't I?
Dave Blassingame: Sure, Smith, think of it. Marriage - marriage, that's somethin' that's permanent! That means a velvet noose around your neck. It means a wife... a wife! That'll flatten ya.
Burgundy Smith: Well, I-I just wasn't thinking.
Dave Blassingame: A catastophe. A catastrophe!
Burgundy Smith: Well, thank you, Blassingame. I-I just got carried away. She must have just pushed me out of my head.
Dave Blassingame: Remember, small doses like you said.
Burgundy Smith: Yeah, yeah.
[Dave turns away and Burgundy slugs him with his pistol butt]
Burgundy Smith: Right, Dave Boy, right. I could have lost a fortune.

"The Westerner: Brown (#1.3)" (1960)
Burgundy Smith: You here for the race?
Dave Blassingame: Yup.
Burgundy Smith: You runnin'?
Dave Blassingame: Horse runs - I travel and my feet dangle.

Burgundy Smith: Say, Digger, do you know a Dave Blassingame?
Digger: Yup.
Burgundy Smith: Do you figure maybe he'll grab the laurels in this here upcoming contest of speed, horseflesh and dirt-eating ability? Can he win? Win the race?
Digger: Ain't none more likely.
Burgundy Smith: Do you consider Mr. Blassingame, ah, oh, a skilled manipulator of equine species?
Digger: Well, he can ride some.

Burgundy Smith: Digger, how'd you like to make twenty.
Digger: Do I have to bushwhack someone?
Burgundy Smith: Nothing that morally blemished. I just want Mr. Blassingame to lose. The way he talked, he's got a pile down on himself. I just prefer seeing him broke.