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: I just think you should see a doctor. And I would go to a doctor before you go to whoever this guy is. There may be something else wrong with you that's making you test for pregnancy, even though you're not pregnant. Madison Cooperstein
: Oh yeah, like the monkey pox or like a flesh eating virus or something! I mean, that would be a relief! Amy Juergens
: No, no, it would, she's right, I-I'm calling my doctor. Lauren Treacy
: Wait, you're calling your doctor? Don't you think your mother should do that? Amy Juergens
: You don't think I'm telling my *mother* about this, do you? Lauren Treacy
: You have to! Either you're sick or you're pregnant! She's going to find out sooner or later. Madison Cooperstein
: Why? Lauren Treacy
: Because... she'll either *die* or have a *baby*.
[Amy has told her friends that she had sex, and they want more details about it
] Amy Juergens
: It was nothing! Lauren Treacy
: Okay, by *nothing*, you mean what? Amy Juergens
: It was... not that great? Madison Cooperstein
: And by not that great, you mean...? Amy Juergens
: I'm not even sure it was sex, okay, guys? Lauren Treacy
: Why not? Amy Juergens
: I don't know! I didn't exactly realize what was happening until, like, after two seconds, and then it was just over. And it wasn't fun, and definitely not like what you see in the movies, you know, all romantic and stuff.
: [tries to button up her pants and gives up
] How am I going to fix this? Madison Cooperstein
: Fix what?
] Madison Cooperstein
: Well, are we talking about it or not? Amy Juergens
: Yeah. I mean, we're talking about the fact that my clothes no longer fit because I'm *fat*. Madison Cooperstein
: Well, maybe we can get you like a big safety pin. You know, like the giant pins they put on... diapers? Lauren Treacy
: And how long is *that* going to work? Amy Juergens
: Okay, why are you always so negative? Lauren Treacy
: I'm not *negative*, but sooner or later, you're going to have to tell your parents that you're... fat... and *why* you're fat.
: Hey, it's Madison right? Madison Cooperstein
: What do you want? And if it's sex, forget it. Ricky Underwood
: No, but thank you for offering.