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Quotes for
Abe (Character)
from "They Came from Outer Space" (1990)

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"They Came from Outer Space: Tennessee Lacey (#1.6)" (1990)
Abe: I'm going to find a place that specializes in serious birthday chow-chow-chow.
Bo: OK OK, but I'm telling you, it's going to cost at least six bucks and the cooks will have cleavers instead of cleavage.

Abe: Look at that! A to Z Smorgasbord! I'm going to start with "A" for apple dumpling and work my way down to fried zucchini.
Bo: I'm going to start with "H" for hickey and work my way to the hard consonants.

Abe: You know, you girls are turning sibling rivalry into an Olympic event.
Tracey: Well, Daddy always liked her best.
Lacey: No way. Daddy bought you bigger guns.
Bo: A true test of love.
Tracey: Well, Daddy got you karate lessons.
Lacey: Well, Daddy took you boar hunting.
Tracey: Daddy paid for your tattoos.
Abe: We're dead meat.
Bo: Look on the bright side.
Abe: Oh, there's a bright side?
Bo: We could have been caught by Daddy.
Tracey: Gag her.

Abe: Do you mind if we ask you where you're taking us?
Tracey: Yeah, I mind.
Bo: I guess it safe to assume we're not going to like it.
Tracey: Well, that depends. Do you enjoy pain and suffering?
Abe: Whose?
Tracey: Yours.
Bo, Abe: We're not going to like it.

[last lines]
Abe: Hey, where are we going?
Bo: Well, Lounge Lizard Magazine recommends Rocco's Tacos. It's about half a mile down the road. It's the place where the women are topless and the chili bowls bottomless.
Abe: Are you ever going to learn?
Bo: Ariba Ariba!
Abe: I guess not.
Bo, Abe: [singing] La Cucaracha! La Cucaracha!


"They Came from Outer Space: Cozy Cove (#1.14)" (1991)
[Bo and Abe are using a old pirate map to search for buried treasure]
Abe: Sixty-one, sixty-two, sixty-three, sixty-four, sixty-five... Whoa! Cozy Cove Yacht Club? Now where do we go?
Bo: Well, according to the map, we go ten more paces this way and four paces to the east and the treasure is buried somewhere beneath this building.
Abe: Oh, great.
Bo: Why would pirates bury a treasure underneath a building?
Abe: To increase the property value.

Abe: Waiter, we would like a table with a view of the marina, please.
Jeffrey: Ah, every table has a view of the marina.
Bo: In that case, we'd like a table with a view of her.
[camera pans to a beautiful blonde sitting on the patio]

[Bo, Abe and Jeffrey plan to search the club's basement for hidden pirate treasure]
Bo: One for all!
Abe, Jeffrey: And all for one!
Abe: Why do I get the feeling it's not going to go according to plan?
[after listening to the boys, conversation, Renick pulls a pistol from a desk drawer]
Renick: One for all... and all *for me*.

Renick: I'm glad you've taken such an interest in the subterraean features of our yacht club, because you're going to spend your remaining days buried alive in this chamber.
Abe: Hey, I don't mind doin' a few dishes or cleanin' a few fish to pay for what I draw the line at being buried alive!


"They Came from Outer Space: Play Doctor (#1.17)" (1991)
[first lines]
Bo: I don't know how I let you talk me into this.
Abe: You're going to like it, Bo. The gallery at the Westfield Gardens Hotel is famous. It holds the largest collection of Orville Odom photography in the world!
Bo: Nudes?
Bo: Landscapes!
Bo: That's us in a nutshell, Abe. I like blondes; you like ponds.

Abe: I can think of worse things than being used as guinea pigs.
Bo: Yeah, like being used as a gerbil.

Dr. Felicia Ramsey: Looks like it's just you and me, Janine and I've got the feeling this convention isn't big enough for the both of us.
Abe: Heh! You should see her without her girdle.
Bo: No you shouldn't.
Bo, Abe: Ewww!


"They Came from Outer Space: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (#1.16)" (1991)
[first lines]
Bo: Ah, fresh air, sunshine and doughnuts! Life is good, Abe. Life is very good.
Abe: I hate to admit it, Bo, but you are absolutely right. This is truly a beautiful Earth day.
Bo: I wonder what they're doing up on Crouton.
Abe: Well, Bo, it's hard to say. This time of year, they're usually working on the zittle harvest. Mom is probably whipping up a fresh batch of zittle dumplings.
Bo: Oh, and Dad will get out his special knife and carve little characters out of the zittle cores. You know, I've had my run-ins with Dad, but I've got to give him one thing. The man knows how to whittle a zittle.

Rene: As I mentioned before, apprentices start out doing the least desireable jobs around the salon.
Bo: Like menial labor.
Rene: Exactly. Like sweeping hair...
Abe: Check!
Rene: ...scrubbing sinks...
Bo: Check!
Rene: ...shampoos and facials...
Abe: Check!
Rene: ...laundry...
Bo: Check!
Rene: ...and cleaning the toilets.
Bo, Abe: CHECK!

Rene: Do you guys take anything seriously?
Abe: Food.
Bo: Women.
Abe: Women with food.
Bo: Naked women without food.