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: I'm going to find a place that specializes in serious birthday chow-chow-chow. Bo
: OK OK, but I'm telling you, it's going to cost at least six bucks and the cooks will have cleavers instead of cleavage.
: Look at that! A to Z Smorgasbord! I'm going to start with "A" for apple dumpling and work my way down to fried zucchini. Bo
: I'm going to start with "H" for hickey and work my way to the hard consonants.
: You know, you girls are turning sibling rivalry into an Olympic event. Tracey
: Well, Daddy always liked her best. Lacey
: No way. Daddy bought you bigger guns. Bo
: A true test of love. Tracey
: Well, Daddy got you karate lessons. Lacey
: Well, Daddy took you boar hunting. Tracey
: Daddy paid for your tattoos. Abe
: We're dead meat. Bo
: Look on the bright side. Abe
: Oh, there's a bright side? Bo
: We could have been caught by Daddy. Tracey
: Gag her.
: Do you mind if we ask you where you're taking us? Tracey
: Yeah, I mind. Bo
: I guess it safe to assume we're not going to like it. Tracey
: Well, that depends. Do you enjoy pain and suffering? Abe
: Whose? Tracey
: Yours. Bo
: We're not going to like it.
: Hey, where are we going? Bo
: Well, Lounge Lizard Magazine recommends Rocco's Tacos. It's about half a mile down the road. It's the place where the women are topless and the chili bowls bottomless. Abe
: Are you ever going to learn? Bo
: Ariba Ariba! Abe
: I guess not. Bo
] La Cucaracha! La Cucaracha!
[Bo and Abe are using a old pirate map to search for buried treasure
: Sixty-one, sixty-two, sixty-three, sixty-four, sixty-five... Whoa! Cozy Cove Yacht Club? Now where do we go? Bo
: Well, according to the map, we go ten more paces this way and four paces to the east and the treasure is buried somewhere beneath this building. Abe
: Oh, great. Bo
: Why would pirates bury a treasure underneath a building? Abe
: To increase the property value.
: Waiter, we would like a table with a view of the marina, please. Jeffrey
: Ah, every table has a view of the marina. Bo
: In that case, we'd like a table with a view of her.
[camera pans to a beautiful blonde sitting on the patio
[Bo, Abe and Jeffrey plan to search the club's basement for hidden pirate treasure
: One for all! Abe
: And all for one! Abe
: Why do I get the feeling it's not going to go according to plan?
[after listening to the boys, conversation, Renick pulls a pistol from a desk drawer
: One for all... and all *for me*.
: I'm glad you've taken such an interest in the subterraean features of our yacht club, because you're going to spend your remaining days buried alive in this chamber. Abe
: Hey, I don't mind doin' a few dishes or cleanin' a few fish to pay for what I draw the line at being buried alive!
: I don't know how I let you talk me into this. Abe
: You're going to like it, Bo. The gallery at the Westfield Gardens Hotel is famous. It holds the largest collection of Orville Odom photography in the world! Bo
: Nudes? Bo
: Landscapes! Bo
: That's us in a nutshell, Abe. I like blondes; you like ponds.
: I can think of worse things than being used as guinea pigs. Bo
: Yeah, like being used as a gerbil.
Dr. Felicia Ramsey
: Looks like it's just you and me, Janine and I've got the feeling this convention isn't big enough for the both of us. Abe
: Heh! You should see her without her girdle. Bo
: No you shouldn't. Bo
: Ah, fresh air, sunshine and doughnuts! Life is good, Abe. Life is very good. Abe
: I hate to admit it, Bo, but you are absolutely right. This is truly a beautiful Earth day. Bo
: I wonder what they're doing up on Crouton. Abe
: Well, Bo, it's hard to say. This time of year, they're usually working on the zittle harvest. Mom is probably whipping up a fresh batch of zittle dumplings. Bo
: Oh, and Dad will get out his special knife and carve little characters out of the zittle cores. You know, I've had my run-ins with Dad, but I've got to give him one thing. The man knows how to whittle a zittle.
: As I mentioned before, apprentices start out doing the least desireable jobs around the salon. Bo
: Like menial labor. Rene
: Exactly. Like sweeping hair... Abe
: Check! Rene
: ...scrubbing sinks... Bo
: Check! Rene
: ...shampoos and facials... Abe
: Check! Rene
: ...laundry... Bo
: Check! Rene
: ...and cleaning the toilets. Bo
: Do you guys take anything seriously? Abe
: Food. Bo
: Women. Abe
: Women with food. Bo
: Naked women without food.