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Quotes for
Keith Greene (Character)
from "Holby City" (1999)

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"Holby City: About Last Night (#11.7)" (2008)
Ric Griffin: This is a shortlist?
Dr. Keith Greene: Yeah.
Ric Griffin: How many?
Dr. Keith Greene: 14.
Ric Griffin: That is NOT a shortlist!
Dr. Keith Greene: Well, I don't make the rules, Ric. If you wanna have a fight about how shortlists AREN'T shortlists, but are in fact they're LONGlists, you speak to HR.
Michael Spence: Alright, what are we shortlisting now?
Dr. Keith Greene: The stars of theatre.
Michael Spence: Ah, anaesthetists?
Dr. Keith Greene: [to Ric] You see, he may come from the land of capped teeth, but he speaks my language.

Dr. Keith Greene: So, have you any one final recommendation for Mr Griffin?
Michael Spence: Daniel Coulson.
Dr. Keith Greene: Really?
Michael Spence: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
Dr. Keith Greene: No, no, no, don't have a problem with it, just thought you'd have gone for Dr Carson, I know how fond you are of the female applicants.
Michael Spence: And nepotism?
Dr. Keith Greene: [gives intrigued look]
Michael Spence: Oh, come on, don't tell me you didn't know she was my wife.
Dr. Keith Greene: Oh, I had an inkling.
Michael Spence: Well then it'd be wrong for me to recommend her then.
Dr. Keith Greene: Heh, you're just scared she might cramp your style.
Michael Spence: Oh, nothing cramps my style. Style like YOURS - nothing can un-cramp it.


"Holby City: Truth and Mercy (#11.18)" (2009)
[in the operating theatre]
Dr. Keith Greene: This is the woman who took a header round the back of the shop, is it?
Linden Cullen: She fell off a staircase, yes.
Dr. Keith Greene: Well you get more and more of her class like that.
[slurs]
Dr. Keith Greene: Secret drinkers.
Linden Cullen: Miss Dighton is not a drinker.
Dr. Keith Greene: What it is actually is despair - despair at society, despair at youth, despair at health and safety, despair at punctuation. I could go on and I could go on.


"Holby City: Lazarus (#11.1)" (2008)
Michael Spence: You know, when I was a kid, my mother got me this game - Operation. You heard of it?
Dr. Keith Greene: Yes, we have it in the Third World, too.


"Holby City: Body Language (#11.39)" (2009)
[Connie and Keith are rivals for the Director of Surgery post. Connie has just given a presentation to the Board in which she has tried to take ownership of a new procedure that Elliot and Tara are developing]
Keith Greene: I don't think I've congratulated you on your most inspired pitch to the Board.
Connie Beauchamp: Well I'm glad you could catch it.
Keith Greene: Of course my strategy is based on showing individual Board members who I really am - the man behind the surgical mask. In fact my brother-in-law was a friend of the Vice Chairman. He plays golf and he's setting up a game for us.
Connie Beauchamp: Ah, so that's what they mean by your bunker mentality.
[Keith laughs]
Keith Greene: Say what you like, Connie. At least I'm not prepared to tread on my colleagues to get to the top. And Mr Hope. Oh dear! Of all people. That's like smacking a puppy on the head with a croquet mallet.
Connie Beauchamp: Go to hell, Keith.
Keith Greene: [gleefully] Oh yes. You are starting to feel the heat.


"Holby City: ...And the Devil Makes Three (#12.17)" (2010)
[Dr Greene is supervising various junior doctors who are examining a patient. Penny turns up late]
Keith Greene: OK, so can anyone tell me why cardiac output would rise from four to seven litres? Anyone at all, while we're still young?
Penny Valentine: If the patient's in the second trimester of pregnancy.
Keith Greene: Very good. Now the only thing we need to be careful about is Mr McGregor here dying of shock when we tell him he's pregnant!


"Holby City: Deep Dark Truthful Mirror (#9.29)" (2007)
[Connie is heavily pregnant, but she is adamant that she will be the one to perfom life-saving surgery on Lola]
Sam Strachan: You're here to observe, Mrs Beauchamp, until Mr Hope arrives.
Connie Beauchamp: Ridiculous rule! My pregnancy wasn't a problem yesterday. Today I'm deemed unfit!
Dr. Keith Greene: But you can't get close enough to the patient in your condition, Mrs Beauchamp. The Trust is thinking of you and Dr. Griffin.
Connie Beauchamp: A large stomach doesn't seem to hamper Mr. Hope!


"Holby City: Final Cut (#10.17)" (2008)
Jocelyn Davidson: [gleefully] Drunk as a skunk, this feller.
[she points at Stuart McElroy]
Dr. Keith Greene: [sarcastically] Well I never.
Stuart McElroy: I don't suppose you have. You obsequious, supercilious, insipid, four-eyed... tosspot!