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: Slow down! You're gonna kill us! There's got to be another way! Pass it on!
[the monkey chain relays the message up to the plane
: Don't slow down. Kill us. It's the only way. Basset Hound! Skipper
: The best sacrifice is the one made by others.
[Nana shoots through the plane's windshield and blows off the bobblehead doll's head
: Doll! MEDIC!
[Private gets out the duct tape
: The plane will not be finished until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave. Skipper
: Maternity leave?
[looks under table
: You're all male!
: She's got a gun! Let's get out while we can! Pass it on!
[monkeys chain whisper the message up to the plane
: He said, 'Let's have some fun and take out the dam. Basset hound'.
: I'd like to kiss you, monkey man. Mason
: All right, but you're so darn ugly.
: Higher mammal! We shall require use of your opposibles!
[Phil curses in sign language
: Phil! I ought to wash your hands out with soap.
: The plane won't be fixed until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave. Skipper
: Maternity leave?
[glances under the table
: You're all male... Marty
: Look, we need that plane for a rescue mission. Skipper
: Well, there's nothing I can do until we bust up this union. Gloria
: I'm gonna get to bustin' up all you if you don't get this plane going! Skipper
: Can't you see these commies have my hands tied, here? NO maternity leave! Mason
: [nudges Phil, who pulls out incriminating photos of Skipper and "Doll" in compromising positions
] Maybe a certain someone wouldn't want *these* blowing around the savanna? Skipper
] All right, you get your maternity leave.
Skipper the Penguin
: [Looking at the shipping label on their crate
] Kowalski. What does it say? Kowalski the Penguin
: I can't make it out, Skipper - it's an older code. Skipper the Penguin
: Not good enough.
[Looking over at Mason the Chimpanzee
] Skipper the Penguin
: You! Higher mammal. Can you read? Mason the Chimpanzee
: No, but Phil can. Phil?
[Phil the Chimpanzee begins motioning with his hands, which Mason interprets
] Mason the Chimpanzee
: Ship to... Kenya Wildlife Preserve... Africa. Skipper the Penguin
: Africa! That ain't gonna fly! Rico!
[Rico begins coughing and spits up a paper clip, with which he picks the lock on the crate. The penguins then escape and take over the ship
Mason the Chimpanzee
: Wake up, you filthy monkey.
[Mason and Phil have just escaped
] Mason the Chimpanzee
: I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center.
[Phil signs frantically
] Mason the Chimpanzee
: Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!
Mason the Chimpanzee
: [Mason and Phil are surrounded by police
] If you have any poo, fling it now.
: Let's try a little role playing. Pretend I'm Phil. Mason
: A bit of a reach, but very well. Private
: Now pretend I just made a mess. Mason
: Oh, Phil, another mess, which I have to clean up. King Julien
: No, no! That is all wrong!
[Jumps around like a monkey
] King Julien
: Ooh, ooh! I sure do like a tire swing! Ooh! Skipper
: It's uncanny. Kowalski
: I know. Private
: Now do me! King Julien
[Jumps like monkey again
] King Julien
: Ooh, ooh! I sure do like stinky fish! Ooh!
: I think a wonderful way to begin would be to say something positive about Phil. Mason
: Very well. I am positive that Phil is disgusting and inconsiderate.
: What did he say? Kowalski
: No idea. Mason
: Go pound bananas? Rico
: Ooooh! Kowalski
: Tell it like it is, primate! Skipper
: You go!
: Oh, you wouldn't understand! No one understands! Skipper
: You can't bear not having someone to clean up after, so you made messes for yourself. Mason
: Oh, I stand corrected. You understand completely.
: What kind of sick mind would leave messes over and over? Kowalski
: I've worked out a profile of our perp.
[Shows outline drawing of chimp
: I know that face. Mason
: [steps in front of profile
] Good evening. Oh, another mess! Here, let me clean it! Skipper
: Stand back. This is a crime scene. Mason
: It's no trouble, really. Kowalski
: Somewhere in this mess, the perpetrator left a calling card. He might as well have signed his name.
: Reach for the skies, chimps! Lulu
: What...? Mason
: Egad, penguin desperados, and they've got sticks! Kowalski
: Aargh! That's right, matey, and ooh, argh! Shiver me timbers, and orgh, eergh, argh! Private
: Kowalski, we're supposed to be desperados, not pirates. Kowalski
[Rico sighs and leaps forward to attack
: The point is, we want all your bananas! Private
: And there's no one here tough enough to stop us! Skipper
: [Pointing at Mason
] Certainly not this milksop. Lulu
: Hold on now. Mason may not be tough, but me... I'm from Hoboken!
[Beats up penguins
: To impress this girly monkey, you must sweep her off her feet. That is how I got my many girlfriends. Maurice
: What girlfriends? King Julien
: You don't know them, they're all in Canada, but trust me when I tell you that they are made up... I mean with lipstick and powders and such, but you know, tastefully. The secret is the two words I am about to tell you now. Get ready. Wait! Those weren't the two words. And those weren't either. Or those... Mason
: Just tell us the two words! King Julien
: Okay... Roller disco!
: Egad, Phil! Don't be rash! Private
: What is it? Mason
: Phil is going to... speak to her. Skipper
: Biscuits and gravy! We didn't run a scenario for that!
: I don't know, Marlene, but I don't think that's quite the way to capture a chimp's heart.
[Suddenly the penguins pop out of a grate
: You heard the chimp, men! We need a way to capture the lady chimp's heart. Kowalski, you... Marlene
: Hello? Mason came to me for advice, therefore it's my mission, not yours. Kowalski
: Ah, but use of the word "capture" automatically makes this a penguin operation. Private
: Sorry, Marlene. Those are the rules.
: Phil, I don't know how to break this to you: There is no checkmate in checkers.
[Phil signs angrily
] You groom your mother with those hands!
: King Julien, you are truly inspiring. King Julien
: I know, it is from the dancing. Mason
: Yes, well we were just talking to the sky spirits... King Julien
: Word up. The sky spirits love me. Peace out, sky spirits! Uh, wait, wait, wait. Conversing? Mason
: Yes. Phil translates, actually. Mason
: [to Phil
] Begin countdown. Mason
: [back to Juilien
] And they are about to send you a message... right... about... now!
: Ah, Sunday morning. King Julien
: Sunday morning? Uh-uh, no! It is still Saturday night, baby! The sky spirits told me. Mason
: Sky spirits? King Julien
: Yes. They give me signs because I am the king. See that cloud up there? It says to me "party with the pansies." Mason
: Chim-panzees, and we were enjoing a quiet morning, if you don't mind. King Julien
: Oh, I do mind, mister. That cloud up there says party time, so it's time to party, mister. Mort, crank up that conga rhythm! Mason
: Oh, please, not conga. King Julien
] I am the Conga King / Doing the conga thing / Tail up and tail down / Grab my bottom and sing! / Let's all go conga-ga! / More fun in conga-ga! / You can't stop conga-ga! / Grab my bottom and sing!
: He must be stopped before he conga-gas again.
[Phil shows Mason a newspaper headline
: Solar eclipse? What does that have to do with King Dancy Pants?
: The sky spirits, you say? Phil, that is positively diabolical. Lovely.
: [Reading fortune cookie
] You are careful and considerate. Kowalski
: After careful consideration, I concur with the cookie.
: You want your fortune read, Rico?
[Rico spits out his fortune and gives it to Mason; Phil reads it and signs something
: Egad, are you sure you're reading that correctly? Marlene
: What's it say? Mason
: Uh... your smiles are like rays of sunshine, warm and inviting. My, look at the time, we must dash. Skipper
: Hold on, chimp! I smell monkey business. Mason
: You do? Skipper
: Yeah, I do. Rico, smile.
: That is not a warm and inviting smile. Kowalski
: More like creepy and unsettling.
: I say, would you like Phil and I to read your fortune? Skipper
: Knock yourself out. Mason
: [Interpreting for Phil as he signs what the fortune says
] Your decisive skills make you a natural born leader. Skipper
: That's nice, but what does the cookie say? Mason
: That is what it says. Skipper
: Oh. That is one perceptive cookie.
: You, simian! You cost us the race. You can't go around flinging your banana peels willy-nilly! Mason
: Well, he's got you there, Phil. It's not like poo. There are consequences.
: It's a lovely night for a race. So lovely, I might not fling any poo.
: Oh, all right, Phil. We can watch the race and fling poo. Just like we did in Talladega.
: [interpreting for Phil
] Pineapple upside-down cake, glazed with brown booger.
: My mistake. Brown sugar. King Julien
: Eh... just in case, next!
: Right, on to new business. Please refrain from yanking the hats off visitors when they stroll past your habitats. There are legal issues, and more importantly, it's just plain rude.
: Well, of course we can still fling poo at them. That's tradition.
: Skipper, what about the plane? Skipper
: Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...
[Chimps run off
: Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract! Mason
: Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year. Skipper
: Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!
: [pulls out camcorder
] Phil and I recently liberated this from Lost and Found. Skipper
: Video! I like where your head's at, simian. Simple blackmail. Mason
: Actually, I just thought we could make a commercial to show off some of the animals at the zoo. Marlene
: And then what? We climb a giant space ladder, hook it up to a satellite and broadcast the commerical all over the city? Kowalski
: Marlene, that's brilliant! You may have a future in science. Marlene
: Oh, really... You think? Kowalski
: I'ts so obvious. Why didn't I think of it? Skipper, do you mind?
[Skipper slaps Kowalski
: Attention, panicky mob! Clearly this is phase one in the space squid invasion. I'd advise you all to keep your heads. Space squids always start with the heads. Marlene
: Space squids? Guys, I think we're just having a blackout. Skipper
: That's just what the space squids want us to think, Marlene... if you truly are Marlene. Mason
: No, I believe she's right. The entire city is suspiciously dark. Skipper
: Well, I guess that's a perfectly logical explanation for... Hiyah!
[Grabs Marlene by the ankles and shakes her upside down
: Show... your... tentacles... you... squid... spy! Marlene
: Ow! What the...! Let go! Skipper
: Her story checks out.
: Excuse me, monkeys! Mason
: Monkeys have tails. We're... Barry
: ...giving me lip when you should be giving me bananas. Are we going to have a problem here? Do I need to break out the toxic touch?