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Quotes for
Mason (Character)
from Madagascar (2005)

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Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
Alex: Slow down! You're gonna kill us! There's got to be another way! Pass it on!
[the monkey chain relays the message up to the plane]
Mason: Don't slow down. Kill us. It's the only way. Basset Hound!
Skipper: The best sacrifice is the one made by others.
[Nana shoots through the plane's windshield and blows off the bobblehead doll's head]
Skipper: Doll! MEDIC!
[Private gets out the duct tape]

Mason: The plane will not be finished until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave.
Skipper: Maternity leave?
[looks under table]
Skipper: You're all male!

Alex: She's got a gun! Let's get out while we can! Pass it on!
[monkeys chain whisper the message up to the plane]
Mason: He said, 'Let's have some fun and take out the dam. Basset hound'.

Skipper: I'd like to kiss you, monkey man.
Mason: All right, but you're so darn ugly.
[Kisses Skipper]

Skipper: Higher mammal! We shall require use of your opposibles!
[Phil curses in sign language]
Mason: Phil! I ought to wash your hands out with soap.

Mason: The plane won't be fixed until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave.
Skipper: Maternity leave?
[glances under the table]
Skipper: You're all male...
Marty: Look, we need that plane for a rescue mission.
Skipper: Well, there's nothing I can do until we bust up this union.
Gloria: I'm gonna get to bustin' up all you if you don't get this plane going!
Skipper: Can't you see these commies have my hands tied, here? NO maternity leave!
Mason: [nudges Phil, who pulls out incriminating photos of Skipper and "Doll" in compromising positions] Maybe a certain someone wouldn't want *these* blowing around the savanna?
Skipper: [reluctantly] All right, you get your maternity leave.

Madagascar (2005)
Skipper the Penguin: [Looking at the shipping label on their crate] Kowalski. What does it say?
Kowalski the Penguin: I can't make it out, Skipper - it's an older code.
Skipper the Penguin: Not good enough.
[Looking over at Mason the Chimpanzee]
Skipper the Penguin: You! Higher mammal. Can you read?
Mason the Chimpanzee: No, but Phil can. Phil?
[Phil the Chimpanzee begins motioning with his hands, which Mason interprets]
Mason the Chimpanzee: Ship to... Kenya Wildlife Preserve... Africa.
Skipper the Penguin: Africa! That ain't gonna fly! Rico!
[Rico begins coughing and spits up a paper clip, with which he picks the lock on the crate. The penguins then escape and take over the ship]

Mason the Chimpanzee: Wake up, you filthy monkey.

[Mason and Phil have just escaped]
Mason the Chimpanzee: I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center.
[Phil signs frantically]
Mason the Chimpanzee: Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!

Mason the Chimpanzee: [Mason and Phil are surrounded by police] If you have any poo, fling it now.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Over Phil/Miss Understanding (#1.25)" (2009)
Private: Let's try a little role playing. Pretend I'm Phil.
Mason: A bit of a reach, but very well.
Private: Now pretend I just made a mess.
Mason: Oh, Phil, another mess, which I have to clean up.
King Julien: No, no! That is all wrong!
[Jumps around like a monkey]
King Julien: Ooh, ooh! I sure do like a tire swing! Ooh!
Skipper: It's uncanny.
Kowalski: I know.
Private: Now do me!
King Julien: Okay
[Jumps like monkey again]
King Julien: Ooh, ooh! I sure do like stinky fish! Ooh!

Private: I think a wonderful way to begin would be to say something positive about Phil.
Mason: Very well. I am positive that Phil is disgusting and inconsiderate.
[Phil signs]
Skipper: What did he say?
Kowalski: No idea.
Mason: Go pound bananas?
Rico: Ooooh!
Kowalski: Tell it like it is, primate!
Skipper: You go!

Mason: Oh, you wouldn't understand! No one understands!
Skipper: You can't bear not having someone to clean up after, so you made messes for yourself.
Mason: Oh, I stand corrected. You understand completely.

Skipper: What kind of sick mind would leave messes over and over?
Kowalski: I've worked out a profile of our perp.
[Shows outline drawing of chimp]
Skipper: I know that face.
Mason: [steps in front of profile] Good evening. Oh, another mess! Here, let me clean it!
Skipper: Stand back. This is a crime scene.
Mason: It's no trouble, really.
Kowalski: Somewhere in this mess, the perpetrator left a calling card. He might as well have signed his name.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Cat's Cradle/Monkey Love (#1.19)" (2009)
Skipper: Reach for the skies, chimps!
Lulu: What...?
Mason: Egad, penguin desperados, and they've got sticks!
Kowalski: Aargh! That's right, matey, and ooh, argh! Shiver me timbers, and orgh, eergh, argh!
Private: Kowalski, we're supposed to be desperados, not pirates.
Kowalski: Really?
[Rico sighs and leaps forward to attack]
Kowalski: The point is, we want all your bananas!
Private: And there's no one here tough enough to stop us!
Skipper: [Pointing at Mason] Certainly not this milksop.
Lulu: Hold on now. Mason may not be tough, but me... I'm from Hoboken!
[Beats up penguins]

King Julien: To impress this girly monkey, you must sweep her off her feet. That is how I got my many girlfriends.
Maurice: What girlfriends?
King Julien: You don't know them, they're all in Canada, but trust me when I tell you that they are made up... I mean with lipstick and powders and such, but you know, tastefully. The secret is the two words I am about to tell you now. Get ready. Wait! Those weren't the two words. And those weren't either. Or those...
Mason: Just tell us the two words!
King Julien: Okay... Roller disco!

Mason: Egad, Phil! Don't be rash!
Private: What is it?
Mason: Phil is going to... speak to her.
Skipper: Biscuits and gravy! We didn't run a scenario for that!

Mason: I don't know, Marlene, but I don't think that's quite the way to capture a chimp's heart.
[Suddenly the penguins pop out of a grate]
Skipper: You heard the chimp, men! We need a way to capture the lady chimp's heart. Kowalski, you...
Marlene: Hello? Mason came to me for advice, therefore it's my mission, not yours.
Kowalski: Ah, but use of the word "capture" automatically makes this a penguin operation.
Private: Sorry, Marlene. Those are the rules.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Needle Point/Eclipsed (#1.14)" (2009)
Mason: Phil, I don't know how to break this to you: There is no checkmate in checkers.
[Phil signs angrily]
Mason: [gasps] You groom your mother with those hands!

Mason: King Julien, you are truly inspiring.
King Julien: I know, it is from the dancing.
Mason: Yes, well we were just talking to the sky spirits...
King Julien: Word up. The sky spirits love me. Peace out, sky spirits! Uh, wait, wait, wait. Conversing?
Mason: Yes. Phil translates, actually.
Mason: [to Phil] Begin countdown.
Mason: [back to Juilien] And they are about to send you a message... right... about... now!

Mason: Ah, Sunday morning.
King Julien: Sunday morning? Uh-uh, no! It is still Saturday night, baby! The sky spirits told me.
Mason: Sky spirits?
King Julien: Yes. They give me signs because I am the king. See that cloud up there? It says to me "party with the pansies."
Mason: Chim-panzees, and we were enjoing a quiet morning, if you don't mind.
King Julien: Oh, I do mind, mister. That cloud up there says party time, so it's time to party, mister. Mort, crank up that conga rhythm!
Mason: Oh, please, not conga.
King Julien: [singing] I am the Conga King / Doing the conga thing / Tail up and tail down / Grab my bottom and sing! / Let's all go conga-ga! / More fun in conga-ga! / You can't stop conga-ga! / Grab my bottom and sing!

Mason: He must be stopped before he conga-gas again.
[Phil shows Mason a newspaper headline]
Mason: Solar eclipse? What does that have to do with King Dancy Pants?
[Phil signs]
Mason: The sky spirits, you say? Phil, that is positively diabolical. Lovely.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Misfortune Cookie/Lemur See, Lemur Do (#1.16)" (2009)
Mason: [Reading fortune cookie] You are careful and considerate.
Kowalski: After careful consideration, I concur with the cookie.

Marlene: You want your fortune read, Rico?
[Rico spits out his fortune and gives it to Mason; Phil reads it and signs something]
Mason: Egad, are you sure you're reading that correctly?
Marlene: What's it say?
Mason: Uh... your smiles are like rays of sunshine, warm and inviting. My, look at the time, we must dash.
Skipper: Hold on, chimp! I smell monkey business.
Mason: You do?
Skipper: Yeah, I do. Rico, smile.
[Rico smiles]
Skipper: That is not a warm and inviting smile.
Kowalski: More like creepy and unsettling.

Mason: I say, would you like Phil and I to read your fortune?
Skipper: Knock yourself out.
Mason: [Interpreting for Phil as he signs what the fortune says] Your decisive skills make you a natural born leader.
Skipper: That's nice, but what does the cookie say?
Mason: That is what it says.
Skipper: Oh. That is one perceptive cookie.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: All Choked Up/Little Zoo Coupe (#1.11)" (2009)
Kowalski: You, simian! You cost us the race. You can't go around flinging your banana peels willy-nilly!
Mason: Well, he's got you there, Phil. It's not like poo. There are consequences.

Mason: It's a lovely night for a race. So lovely, I might not fling any poo.
[Phil signs]
Mason: Oh, all right, Phil. We can watch the race and fling poo. Just like we did in Talladega.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Happy King Julien Day! (#1.3)" (2009)
Mason: [interpreting for Phil] Pineapple upside-down cake, glazed with brown booger.
[Phil signs]
Mason: My mistake. Brown sugar.
King Julien: Eh... just in case, next!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Operation: Plush and Cover (#1.2)" (2009)
Mason: Right, on to new business. Please refrain from yanking the hats off visitors when they stroll past your habitats. There are legal issues, and more importantly, it's just plain rude.
[Phil signs]
Mason: Well, of course we can still fling poo at them. That's tradition.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012)
Alex: Skipper, what about the plane?
Skipper: Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...
[Chimps run off]
Skipper: Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract!
Mason: Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year.
Skipper: Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Zoo Tube/Snakehead! (#1.27)" (2010)
Mason: [pulls out camcorder] Phil and I recently liberated this from Lost and Found.
Skipper: Video! I like where your head's at, simian. Simple blackmail.
Mason: Actually, I just thought we could make a commercial to show off some of the animals at the zoo.
Marlene: And then what? We climb a giant space ladder, hook it up to a satellite and broadcast the commerical all over the city?
Kowalski: Marlene, that's brilliant! You may have a future in science.
Marlene: Oh, really... You think?
Kowalski: I'ts so obvious. Why didn't I think of it? Skipper, do you mind?
[Skipper slaps Kowalski]

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Out of the Groove/Jungle Law (#1.22)" (2009)
Skipper: Attention, panicky mob! Clearly this is phase one in the space squid invasion. I'd advise you all to keep your heads. Space squids always start with the heads.
Marlene: Space squids? Guys, I think we're just having a blackout.
Skipper: That's just what the space squids want us to think, Marlene... if you truly are Marlene.
Mason: No, I believe she's right. The entire city is suspiciously dark.
Skipper: Well, I guess that's a perfectly logical explanation for... Hiyah!
[Grabs Marlene by the ankles and shakes her upside down]
Skipper: Show... your... tentacles... you... squid... spy!
Marlene: Ow! What the...! Let go!
Skipper: Her story checks out.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: All King, No Kingdom/Untouchable (#1.24)" (2009)
Barry: Excuse me, monkeys!
Mason: Monkeys have tails. We're...
Barry: me lip when you should be giving me bananas. Are we going to have a problem here? Do I need to break out the toxic touch?