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: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday
] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse! Homer
: Ooh, that's bad. Shopkeeper
: But it comes with a free frogurt! Homer
: That's good. Shopkeeper
: The frogurt is also cursed. Homer
: That's bad. Shopkeeper
: But you get your choice of toppings. Homer
: That's good! Shopkeeper
: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled
: ...That's bad. Homer
: Can I go now?
] My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, my baloney has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R.
: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"? Homer
: No. I swear on this Bible. Marge
: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples. Homer
: Ooh... fuzzy.
: Dad, we did something very bad! Homer
: Did you wreck the car? Bart
: No. Homer
: Did you raise the dead? Lisa
: Yes. Homer
: But the car's okay? Lisa
: Uh-huh. Homer
: All right then.
: [cocks a shotgun
] To the book depository!
: That doll tried to kill me! Bart Simpson
: I'd say the pressure has finally gotten to Dad, but what pressure?
[Flanders, a zombie, approaches Homer
] Ned Flanders
: Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?
[Homer kills Flanders by blasting his head apart with a shotgun
: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders. Homer
: He was a zombie?
[while fighting zombies
: Wow, George Washington! Homer
: Take that, Washington!
: Eat lead, Einstein!
: Show's over, Shakespeare!
[clubs him to the ground
] Zombie Shakespeare
: Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?
: [a la Alfred Hitchcock
] Good eeevening.
: I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary. You see, there are some crybabies out there - religious types, mostly - who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your TV now. Come on, I dare you!
: Buck-buck-buck-buck! Chicken!
[screen winks out
: Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies. Bart
: Shhh... TV. Homer
: [thud sound on TV
] Man fall down... funny.
: Homer! Did you barricade the door? Homer
: Why? Oh, the zombies! No.
: Do you sell toys? Shopkeeper
: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread... we also sell frozen yogurt, which I call "frogurt"!
: Anybody know a ghost story? Lisa
: I do! It's a story of a boy and his doll. Homer
: That's not so scary. Lisa
: A doll, from Hell. Homer
: I'm gonna go to the store.
[Lisa laughs evilly
: Building survey! This building's not up to code!
: [Releasing the villains from the Phantom Zone
] He's evil, he's magic, and it's about to get tragic. It's Voldemort! Voldemort
[Starts zapping police
: You are a fish! You, a frog! You are a fish-frog! The Joker
: He's a 9,000-year-old incarnation of evil, with an eye for jewelry. Give it up for Sauron! Sauron
: Good afternoon, Gotham City.
[Fires a beam of fire at Gotham
] The Joker
: He likes long, violent walks on historic builds. It's King Kong! King Kong
: Come at me, Gotham!