The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch!
: You want to take your shirt off.
: What's the Klingon for "I'm going to die a virgin"? Admiral Seasholtz
: [Replies in fluent Klingon
: [hands him a vacuum cleaner
] Your mom said clean up this shit-hole or no grilled cheese for a week? Hutch
: [sticks his head out on the door
] That's emotional blackmail, and you know it!
: Rule number one: In my van, it's Rush. All Rush, all the time. No exceptions. Rule number two: Nobody touch the red button. And I mean never touch the red button. Most importantly, rule number three: There's no jerking it in my van! Windows
: [throwing up his hands
] Fine... Hutch
: [amid laughter
] Don't roll your eyes at ME, Admiral Jackbar!
: [as Stormtrooper
] Halloween just got awesome, bitches! Linus
: [as Stormtrooper
] Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader. Windows
: [as Darth Vader
] Give yourself to the Dark Side. It's the only way you can save your...
: You guys both got to stop perpetuating this myth that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass. All right? He has a jet pack. So did the Rocketeer. Really cool. When it comes time for battle, the man's Michael Bay - all style, no substance. Hutch
: If you diss the Fett the again, I will corn-hole you with a lightsaber!
: Asshole. You have been trying that Jedi mind shit on me since the eighth grade. It doesn't work. Hutch
: Oh, it works. Tell her, Windows. Zoe
: He's been geeking out with Rogue Leader all morning. Nothing can tear him away.
[lifts her sweater, exposing her breasts to Windows who is on the Internet on his laptop, not looking up
: Ah, I love the feeling of fresh air on my naked breasts. Hutch
: Oh, ho-ho! Zoe
: See that? Man's immune to sweater yams. Hutch
: What about me? I like sweater yams!
: Stop humping. Please stop humping. Just high five. Hutch
: Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump.
: You might wanna hit the showers. 'Cause you smell like something shit *in* my nose. Hutch
: Yes, Your Highnessness.
[Hutch takes off his t-shirt
: Ew! What in god's name is living on your chest? It looks like you fell on ALF.
: Dude, you're gonna be my Dak today, all right? Follow my lead. Windows
: Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. You wanna just talk to them? Hutch
: Yeah. It's called having balls. Zoe
: Or in your case, one ball.
: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp. Linus
: Who's also got a man package and a goatee. Windows
: You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo. Hutch
: Tell 'em how you described yourself. Windows
: I was perfectly honest with her. Linus
: You said you look like a white Billy Dee Williams. You called yourself white chocolate. Windows
: I *am* white chocolate.
: Official Episode 1 countdown is six months, 12 days, eight hours and some change. Windows
: I would sell my soul to see that movie right here right now. Hutch
: Dude, I would sell my left nut. And I only have the one nut. So you see how serious I am?
: Okay. Hilarious, everyone. Looks like we got more Lucas hounds here to mock Roddenberry. Congratulations, gentleman, but I would like to see your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. And we'll see who's laughing then. Am I right? Windows
: Darth Vader can put the entire Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind. Admiral Seasholtz
: Uh, Darth Vader has asthma, so name me one Star Trek character with a respiratory disease, 'cause I'm drawing a blank. Linus
: Name me one Star Wars character who's gay. Hutch
: Beside's you. Admiral Seasholtz
: Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, so why would I even do that? Linus
: Captain Picard. Admiral Seasholtz
: Okay. Captain Picard is not gay. He's British. Windows
: [in a swishy voice
] Come on. "Make it so!"
[waking the guys up to show them they're in Iowa
: Wakey, wakey, hands off steakey.
[after seeing the two hot escorts
: I'd like to knock the nickels out of that pussy!
: Hey guys. Windows
: What? Hutch
: What, man? Eric
: What if the movie sucks?
[Hutch subdues a Trekkie in a fight
: Nighty-night, Spock-sucker.
: You gotta find your Death Star. Eric
: Okay, I'll bite. Hutch
: Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did was take down the Death Star, right? As far as I'm concerned, that's what everybody needs. You need that one bad-ass thing that lets you live on forever, you know.
[after having landed in the garbage disposal room
: I have a bad feeling about this. Hutch
: Um, you guys don't think that the, um... Linus
: We are in George Lucas' trash room. Eric
: Don't be ridiculous, okay? The walls are not gonna close in on us.
[the walls begin to move in
[after seeing his van repaired
: Ha ha! The Buce is back!
: All right everybody, shut up! Hutch
: Oh! Zoe
: I swear to God this little Ewok is going up in flames. I'll do it.
: [to Hutch and Windows
] Holy shit. If it ain't C-3Penis Face and R2-Dickhead. Hutch
: What did you just say, you giant bastard?
: Just take a look-see here. Hutch
: What's with the man-purse? Admiral Seasholtz
: Yep. As I thought, scanner reads "douche bag."
: I'm telling you, man. I took that Vulcan down hard. I rolled him into the dirt like he was my frickin tauntaun. Eric
: Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me, you guys would all be dead. Windows
: What fight were you watching? I was channeling the emperor. Linus
: The emperor? I don't remember the emperor crapping his robe and screaming "time-out." Eric
: Oh, my God. That's right. Windows
: There is such a thing as time-out. Hutch
: [imitating The Emperor
] I can feel your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.
: What the hell are you doing, man? You're poking me. Windows
: Oh, God. Don't flatter yourself, okay? It's just my R2. My lucky R2. Hutch
: Man, you wish you had the height and girth of D2.
Head Of Security
: By the time y'all walk away from this your face are gonna be shrunken and shriveled...
[walks up to Hutch
] Head Of Security
: ...just like your one nut. Hutch
: What? How can he possibly know that? Head Of Security
: Oh, we know about your uniball. We know everything, Mr. Harold Hutchinson, aka Hutch. Son of Gloria. Humongous Rush fan. Hutch
: Dude, you're freaking me out. How do you know this? Head Of Security
: Because you have a Rush shirt on, dipshit.
: All right, everybody, shut up! Swear to God this little Ewok is going up in flames! I'll do it. THX Security Guard #4
: Go ahead, burn it. Zoe
: I will. THX Security Guard #4
: Yeah, burn it. Hutch
: Guys, nobody wants this. Zoe
: I will. THX Security Guard #4
: [Mimicking Yoda's voice
] Burn it, burn it. Zoe
: I'm gonna. THX Security Guard #4
: Burn it. Zoe
: That's what I said. THX Security Guard #4
: Burn it. Zoe
: I said it. THX Security Guard #4
: Good, I was always more of a Star Trek fan anyway. Zoe
: Oh... Hutch
: These Trekkies are everywhere.