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Linus
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Quotes for
Linus (Character)
from Fanboys (2009)

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Fanboys (2009)
Linus: [Shatner has given them the access codes to Skywalker Ranch] How did you score all of this?
William Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner; I can score anything.
Eric: How about Jeri Ryan's panties?

Linus: [Linus gives the Doctor a big kiss] I love you.
Doctor: I know.

[first lines]
Hutch: [as Stormtrooper] Halloween just got awesome, bitches!
Linus: [as Stormtrooper] Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.
Windows: [as Darth Vader] Give yourself to the Dark Side. It's the only way you can save your...

Windows: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp.
Linus: Who's also got a man package and a goatee.
Windows: You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo.
Hutch: Tell 'em how you described yourself.
Windows: I was perfectly honest with her.
Linus: You said you look like a white Billy Dee Williams. You called yourself white chocolate.
Windows: I *am* white chocolate.

Linus: Official Episode 1 countdown is six months, 12 days, eight hours and some change.
Windows: I would sell my soul to see that movie right here right now.
Hutch: Dude, I would sell my left nut. And I only have the one nut. So you see how serious I am?

Linus: I was wondering what did Sulu find in Captain Kirk's lavatory.
Admiral Seasholtz: Sulu clearly found a standard issue Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.
Linus: I believe it was the Captain's log.

Admiral Seasholtz: Okay. Hilarious, everyone. Looks like we got more Lucas hounds here to mock Roddenberry. Congratulations, gentleman, but I would like to see your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. And we'll see who's laughing then. Am I right?
Windows: Darth Vader can put the entire Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.
Admiral Seasholtz: Uh, Darth Vader has asthma, so name me one Star Trek character with a respiratory disease, 'cause I'm drawing a blank.
Linus: Name me one Star Wars character who's gay.
Hutch: Beside's you.
Admiral Seasholtz: Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, so why would I even do that?
Linus: Captain Picard.
Admiral Seasholtz: Okay. Captain Picard is not gay. He's British.
Windows: [in a swishy voice] Come on. "Make it so!"

Eric: Linus. Hey, stop walking. Linus! Hold up, man! Stop. What the hell, man? I did nothing to you.
Linus: Exactly. You did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Eric Bottler graduates high school and never looks back. You bailed on our plan, Bottler!
Eric: What plan? To be the next big thing in comics? Come on, man. That was never gonna happen. I did what I had to do, dude. I grew up. I'm the only one who did. Look at you guys.
Linus: You know, you could fool anybody with this cheap suit, salesman-of-the-year pitch. But I know you better than anybody and deep down, you are one miserable son of a bitch.

[after having landed in the garbage disposal room]
Windows: I have a bad feeling about this.
Hutch: Um, you guys don't think that the, um...
Linus: We are in George Lucas' trash room.
Eric: Don't be ridiculous, okay? The walls are not gonna close in on us.
[the walls begin to move in]

Linus: Who's up for Texas, boys?

Linus: [yelling at Eric as he drives off] They were siblings. They were siblings, you sick bastard!

Linus: Hey, Bottler, hit 'em with the pressed ham!
Eric: Klingon to this.
[Eric moons the Trekkers]

Hutch: I'm telling you, man. I took that Vulcan down hard. I rolled him into the dirt like he was my frickin tauntaun.
Eric: Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me, you guys would all be dead.
Windows: What fight were you watching? I was channeling the emperor.
Linus: The emperor? I don't remember the emperor crapping his robe and screaming "time-out."
Eric: Oh, my God. That's right.
Windows: There is such a thing as time-out.
Hutch: [imitating The Emperor] I can feel your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.

Linus: We have to strip to Menudo?
Thick-Necked Thug: You got a problem with Menudo? Now, take it off!

The Chief: The Chief fixed it while you boys were asleep.
Eric: The Chief fixed it. Is he around? Can we thank him?
Linus: He's the Chief. You're the Chief, aren't you? Why didn't you say so?
The Chief: The Chief likes to refer to himself in the third person. It causes confusion, especially with the bitches.