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Quotes for
Josh the Cook (Character)
from "Corner Gas" (2004)

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"Corner Gas: Safety First (#3.10)" (2005)
Lacey Burrows: [at the Ruby Café] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, come on. You can't quit. Who'll bus the tables?
Ruby Cook: [his first lines of the series] Is that all you see me as? A busboy? You don't know that I've always wanted to work on a llama farm!
[He walks out]
Lacey Burrows: Yeah? Well, be careful. They bite your fingers off.
Brent LeRoy: Oh, that's not going to work. Danger is part of the allure of llama farming.
Lacey Burrows: Did you know he wanted to work with llamas?
Brent LeRoy: I didn't even know he could talk.

Ruby Cook: [as a customer at the Ruby] Can I get some more coffee?
Lacey Burrows: Oh, go farm a llama!


"Corner Gas: Shirt Disturber (#6.10)" (2009)
Lacey Burrows: [after Wanda says her group gifts suck, to Josh and Fitzy] Hey guys, wanna go in together for a...
Josh the Cook, Fitzy: No.

Karen Pelly: [opening a gift - a badge that says 'Senior Rookie'] Aw, thanks, Josh!
Josh the Cook: It's from me and Fitzy.
Fitzy: Group gift. Group hug?
Karen Pelly: No.


"Corner Gas: Demolition (#4.5)" (2006)
Emma Leroy: [looking at the flowers she gave Lacey as a thank you for doing her nails] My flowers!
Josh the Cook: They're kinda droopy. You know, you should really replant them as soon as you take them out of the ground.
Emma Leroy: Do I tell you how to burn toast?


"Corner Gas: Dog River Dave (#4.2)" (2006)
Lacey Burrows: [to Brent] You are overreacting.
Josh the Cook: The mayor just called for delivery.
Lacey Burrows: This is the worst thing that ever happened to me!
Wanda Dollard: Didn't you find a raccoon in your sock drawer?
Lacey Burrows: This is the second-worst thing that ever happened to me!


"Corner Gas: Meat Wave (#6.4)" (2008)
Pet Man: We were here this morning, and we think we left a little virtual pet toy here. Have you seen it?
Lacey Burrows: Um, no.
[laughs nervously]
Lacey Burrows: No. Wanda? Have you seen a virtual, um, er... what do you call it?
Pet Man: Pet.
Wanda Dollard: Oh, is it kinda like a blue key-chain thing?
Pet Man: Yes.
Wanda Dollard: Haven't seen it.
Josh the Cook: [coming out of the kitchen] Here it is.
Lacey Burrows: Thanks, Josh.
Wanda Dollard: Yeah, thanks, Josh.


"Corner Gas: Knit Wit of the Month (#5.10)" (2008)
Lacey Burrows: [after she makes Josh Employee of the Month] Hey Josharoo.
Josh the Cook: Hey Lacearoo.
Brent Leroy: I think I'm going to lose my luncharoo.


"Corner Gas: Happy Career Day to You (#6.17)" (2009)
Lacey Burrows: And here's your hubcap full of nachos!
[People start clapping but stop when they see how dirty the hubcap is]
Lacey Burrows: [to Josh] Maybe you should have washed it first.
Josh the Cook: Maybe you should wash your car more often.
Lacey Burrows: Well, maybe you should... Wait. My car doesn't have hubcaps.