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Quotes for
Alastair (Character)
from "Supernatural" (2005)

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"Supernatural: On the Head of a Pin (#4.16)" (2009)
[Quoting Bill Murray's character Arthur Denton from Little Shop of Horrors, 1986]
Alastair: "It's your professionalism that I respect."

Alastair: [coughing] Something caught in my throat.
Alastair: I think it's my throat.

Alastair: And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break.

Alastair: [laughing at Dean] I'm sorry. This is a very serious, very emotional situation for you. I shouldn't laugh. It's just that, I mean, are they serious? They sent *you* to torture *me*?
Dean Winchester: You got one chance. One. Tell me who's killing the angels. I want a name.
Alastair: You think I'll see all your... scary toys and spill my guts?
Dean Winchester: Oh, you'll spill your guts, one way or the other. I just didn't want to ruin my shoes.

Alastair: C'mon. You gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you. For all the... pokes and prods. Hmmm? No? Then... how about for all the things I did to your daddy? Had your pop on my rack for close to a century.
Dean Winchester: Can't stall forever.
Alastair: John Winchester. Made quite a name for himself. A hundred years. After each session, I'd make him the same offer I made you. I put down my blade if he picked one up.
Dean Winchester: Just give me the demon's name, Alistair.
Alastair: But... he said nein. Each and every time. Damned if I couldn't break him. Pulled out all the stops. But John, he was... made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. But then came Dean. Mmm. Dean Winchester. I was up against it again! But, daddy's little girl... he broke. He broke in *thirty*! Mm, just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?

Alastair: Honestly, Dean. You have no idea how bad it really was. And what you really did for us.
Dean Winchester: Shut up.
Alastair: The whole bloody thing, Dean. The reason Lilith wanted you there in the first place.
Dean Winchester: Well, then, I'll just make you shut up.
[Pours salt down Alistair's throat]
Alastair: [choking] Something caught in my throat... I think it's my throat.
Dean Winchester: Well strap in. Cuz I'm just startin' to have fun.
[Turns back to the table with various implements on it]
Alastair: You know. It was supposed to be your father. He was supposed to bring it on. But, in the end... it was you.
Dean Winchester: [Turns back to Alastair] Bring what on?
Alastair: Every night, the same offer, remember? Same as your father. And finally you said, sign me up. Oh, the first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that... weeping bitch. That was the first seal.
Dean Winchester: You're lying.
Alastair: And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break.
[Dean walks away in horror]
Alastair: We had to break the first seal before any others. Only way to get the dominoes to fall, right? Top of the order, the front of the line.
[pause, then thoughtfully]
Alastair: When we win, when we bring on the apocalypse and burn this earth down, we'll owe it all to you... Dean Winchester.
[Dean closes his eyes as dread fills him]
Alastair: Believe me, son, I wouldn't lie about this. It's kind of a... religious... sort of thing with me.
[Looks at the water leak he's caused to break the Devil's trap]
Dean Winchester: No. I don't think you are lying. But, even if the demons do win, you won't be there to see it.
[Dean turns back to the trap but Alistair has freed himself]
Alastair: You should talk to your plumber about the pipes.
[He knocks Dean to the ground with one blow]

"Supernatural: I Know What You Did Last Summer (#4.9)" (2008)
Alastair: Come on Dean, don't you recognize me? Oh I forgot, I'm wearing a pediatrician.

Alastair: [after Sam tries to exorcise him] That tickles.

Alastair: [as he's punching the heck out of Dean] Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot, I'm wearing a pediatrician. But, we were so close... in Hell.
Dean Winchester: [Horrified] Alastair.