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: Uh... Dharma, there's a naked woman in your apartment. Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
: Abby, I have someone I want you to meet. Abby O'Neil
: What? Oh, I'm sorry. Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
: [to Greg
] She always takes her clothes off when she paints. Greg Montgomery
: Is she your roommate? Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
: No, it's my mother. Greg Montgomery
: [slightly freaked out
] The naked woman is your mother. Do you have any Tums?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
: Maybe I should compromise more. I mean, you must have had to compromise for Larry, right? Abby O'Neil
: Well, not really. Nothing I had to stick with, your father blew out his short term memory back in 1972.
: Greg, anger is like a little puppy, and it will piddle on the carpet of your soul. Greg Montgomery
: Yeah, I have all my carpet Scotch Guarded.
: I know that, um, that the two of you don't have what one would consider a traditional relationship. However, you still have a relationship that has lasted twenty-eight years. Abby O'Neil
: Twenty-nine if you count from when he started watching me with binoculars.
: You bought stocks? Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
: None of these companies are hurting the environment... Abby O'Neil
: How do you know? Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
: Because they're too busy going out of business.
: What is that dreadful smell? Abby O'Neil
: I'm burning sage to cleanse the room of evil spirits. Kitty Montgomery
: Well, how about I open the window and let the little devils out.
: Sit down, come on. I have some really great news. Sit, sit, sit. Abby O'Neil
: What? What? What? Dharma
: Okay. So you know how Greg just won this really big case? Abby O'Neil
: Yeah. Larry
] Yes. Abby O'Neil
: I told you about it. Larry
: I said yes! Dharma
: Anyway, because of that, he's been asked to run for Congress.
[Abby and Larry don't respond; Dharma chuckles nervously
: So, say something. What do you think? Larry
: If this is a joke, tell me now... because my arm is numb and somebody might have to pound on my chest.