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Quotes for
Abby O'Neil (Character)
from "Dharma & Greg" (1997)

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"Dharma & Greg: Pilot (#1.1)" (1997)
Greg Montgomery: Uh... Dharma, there's a naked woman in your apartment.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: Abby, I have someone I want you to meet.
Abby O'Neil: What? Oh, I'm sorry.
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: [to Greg] She always takes her clothes off when she paints.
Greg Montgomery: Is she your roommate?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: No, it's my mother.
Greg Montgomery: [slightly freaked out] The naked woman is your mother. Do you have any Tums?

Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: Maybe I should compromise more. I mean, you must have had to compromise for Larry, right?
Abby O'Neil: Well, not really. Nothing I had to stick with, your father blew out his short term memory back in 1972.

"Dharma & Greg: A Girl Can Dream, Can't She? (#2.23)" (1999)
Abby O'Neil: Greg, anger is like a little puppy, and it will piddle on the carpet of your soul.
Greg Montgomery: Yeah, I have all my carpet Scotch Guarded.

"Dharma & Greg: Daughter of the Bride of Finkelstein (#1.18)" (1998)
Kitty Montgomery: I know that, um, that the two of you don't have what one would consider a traditional relationship. However, you still have a relationship that has lasted twenty-eight years.
Abby O'Neil: Twenty-nine if you count from when he started watching me with binoculars.

"Dharma & Greg: Dharma Drags Edward Out of Retirement (#2.20)" (1999)
Larry Finkelstein: You bought stocks?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: None of these companies are hurting the environment...
Abby O'Neil: How do you know?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: Because they're too busy going out of business.

"Dharma & Greg: And Then There's the Wedding (#1.4)" (1997)
Kitty Montgomery: What is that dreadful smell?
Abby O'Neil: I'm burning sage to cleanse the room of evil spirits.
Kitty Montgomery: Well, how about I open the window and let the little devils out.

"Dharma & Greg: Mr. Montgomery Goes to Washington (#1.8)" (1997)
Dharma: Sit down, come on. I have some really great news. Sit, sit, sit.
Abby O'Neil: What? What? What?
Dharma: Okay. So you know how Greg just won this really big case?
Abby O'Neil: Yeah.
Larry: [unsure] Yes.
Abby O'Neil: I told you about it.
Larry: I said yes!
Dharma: Anyway, because of that, he's been asked to run for Congress.
[Abby and Larry don't respond; Dharma chuckles nervously]
Dharma: So, say something. What do you think?
Larry: If this is a joke, tell me now... because my arm is numb and somebody might have to pound on my chest.