Detective Sergeant Lewis
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Quotes for
Detective Sergeant Lewis (Character)
from "Inspector Morse" (1987)

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"Inspector Morse: Cherubim & Seraphim (#6.5)" (1992)
Chief Inspector Morse: Breaking and entering, Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Yes sir.
Chief Inspector Morse: Get on with it then.

Chief Inspector Holroyd: In my opinion, Morse, Lewis hasn't been given a proper grounding in the basics.
Chief Inspector Morse: If you're going to retire, Holroyd, just get on and do it.
Chief Inspector Holroyd: He'll never make inspector if he doesn't follow correct procedures.
Chief Inspector Morse: Well, if you'll proceed out of my office, either properly or improperly, I really don't mind.
Chief Inspector Holroyd: Take this Lever case. Lewis thinks he was very clever listening to the parents, but he spent so much time cosying up to them he missed what was staring him in the face. The father's a sadist. Wears a bloody great leather strap round his waist. Wife's scared stiff of him. Abuse. That's what this case is all about: physical and probably sexual abuse.
[Lewis walks in]
Chief Inspector Morse: Ah Lewis, Chief Inspector Holroyd was just abusing you.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I thought I felt something.
Chief Inspector Holroyd: Yes, well I've said my piece. So, do you remember what I said, Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Anything particular, Sir? You said so much.
[Holroyd walks out]

Detective Sergeant Lewis: It was invented by a weather forecaster you know.
Chief Inspector Morse: What was?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: This chaos theory.
Chief Inspector Morse: Can't be right then!

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [about an unknown tablet] Is it Ecstasy?
Dr. Hayward: E we call it, Lewis. It has a few components in common with E, but whether it has the same effect, uh... Do you want to try it, Morse? Well, mice are all very well, but we do need to know the effect on the human mind. Oh, go on. Oxford is where Lewis Carroll made Alice eat the mushroom.
[chuckles]
Dr. Hayward: Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: No. Thanks, Sir. Not in front of the Chief Inspector.

Chief Inspector Morse: I don't know about drugs. I missed the sixties.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Sex and drugs and rock'n'roll...
Chief Inspector Morse: They were happening all around me. I was based at Windsor when the Rolling Stones played on Eel Pie Island; I was just never in the right place at the right time.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Well... You don't like rock'n'roll.
Chief Inspector Morse: I like sex.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Referring to Holroyd's conclusions] Rubbish!
Chief Inspector Morse: [Sarcastically] That's what I like to hear - reasoned argument logically developed.

Chief Inspector Morse: I know I drink a bit, but... drugs. You don't know what demons drugs will let loose.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Might be angels, not demons.

Chief Inspector Morse: I hope that man's in hell-fire.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: You don't believe in hell.
Chief Inspector Morse: I wish I did, though. Tonight I really wish I did.

Chief Inspector Morse: Starter homes. God Almighty!
Detective Sergeant Lewis: First step on the ladder.
Chief Inspector Morse: To where? What sort of life do we offer our young people, Lewis? School? If you're lucky college; then marriage. A starter home; then children. A two-bedroom semi. If you do well, you've just about got to four bedrooms, when your kids leave to buy starter homes of their own!
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Don't want to pay rent. Money down the drain.
Chief Inspector Morse: This British home-owning democracy we're all so proud of; it's really a form of slavery.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: An Englishman's home is his castle, you know.
Chief Inspector Morse: Man was born free, but everywhere he's in the property chain.


"Inspector Lewis: The Gift of Promise (#5.4)" (2011)
[Lewis and Hobson are examining a woman's body]
DI Robert Lewis: I presume the bleach is to get rid of the DNA?
Dr. Laura Hobson: You're learning. You used to think "DNA" meant "Don't Know Anything".
DI Robert Lewis: Better than thinking "CID" stands for "Coppers In Disguise".

DI Robert Lewis: [reading aloud as they walk] Gifted children use long words, enjoy problem solving, are very sensitive emotionally, and often prone to deny the obvious.
[to Hathaway]
DI Robert Lewis: Remind you of anyone?
DS James Hathaway: [sharing Lewis's enjoyment] No.
DI Robert Lewis: I made the last bit up.

DS James Hathaway: [Hathaway, the Cambridge graduate, holds an Oxford student's essay] You know sometimes you couldn't believe that this was England's second best university.
DI Robert Lewis: You're speaking objectively, of course.

DI Robert Lewis: Why would anyone poison Voss?
[tutor who had recently moved to Oxford from Harvard]
DS James Hathaway: There's nothing in his background. He's British, originally.
DI Robert Lewis: Where from?
DS James Hathaway: Swindon.
DI Robert Lewis: Went there once; it was closed.

DI Robert Lewis: Were you really talent-spotted?
DS James Hathaway: What, by MI5? They even got me to sign something... I changed my mind.
DI Robert Lewis: How'd you get away with it?
DS James Hathaway: I used invisible ink.
[as they walk to their cars]
DS James Hathaway: Drink, sir?
DI Robert Lewis: Mine's a pint... shaken, not stirred.

DI Robert Lewis: [Quoting the title of a book] "The Gifted Child."
Dr. Laura Hobson: [Sarcastically] Don't speak about Sergeant Hathaway like that. You'll give him a big head.

DS James Hathaway: [Looking at a poster for a book-signing event of a best-seller] Would you ever write your memoirs?
DI Robert Lewis: Only if I could write the shocking truth about you.

Eileen Norman: Poison is a woman's weapon.
DI Robert Lewis: Is it?
Eileen Norman: "I love the old ways best, the simple way of poison, where we too are as strong as men".
DS James Hathaway: Uh, one of the Greek tragedies.
Eileen Norman: Right: Medea. I played her once at drama school. Look at me now.

DI Robert Lewis: [referring to Hathaway's food poisoning] In any case, we don't know for sure that it was the coffee that gave you the funny turn, rather than the prawns.
DS James Hathaway: It was DEFinitely the coffee.
DI Robert Lewis: Gut feeling?


"Inspector Lewis: Counter Culture Blues (#3.4)" (2009)
DI Robert Lewis: Do you know what I'm doing? Trying to think like Morse.
DS James Hathaway: [facetiously] Does that mean we're going to the pub?

DI Robert Lewis: Bow down before the Midnight Addiction
DS James Hathaway: Absolutely
[discarding his cigarette]
DS James Hathaway: Well I... use the word "Absolutely" in a purely private sense, meaning I've no idea what you're talking about

Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Ah, there you are
DI Robert Lewis: Yes ma'am; you sent for us
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Warrant. Needless to say - though, in my experience, the needless needs announcing through a loud-hailer - this must be handled with extreme delicacy. If the press get it, the Chief Constable is going to make my life very disagreeable, and if my life is disagreeable, your life is going to be absolute screaming hell. What am I saying here, Hathaway?
DS James Hathaway: You're saying it's preferable not to alert the press, ma'am
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Your job is to shout that in the Inspector's ear, whenever he seems to be about to do something rash

Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: So what are you actually going to do, Lewis, now?
DI Robert Lewis: Now, ma'am? I'm going o think.
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: You're going to think?
DI Robert Lewis: Yeah, ma'am. As a means of solving a crime it can prove useful.

DI Robert Lewis: [Viewing Lucas' body] Look at those piercings. What sort of parent would allow their kid to do that?
Dr. Laura Hobson: You're going to wish you never asked that.

DI Robert Lewis: [Over the phone] I'm not stirring on Sunday for anything less than murder.

DI Robert Lewis: All she's done since I got her in is make one phone call to the Randolph
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Who'd she speak to?
DI Robert Lewis: the Hotel switchboard cannot divulge that information
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: They'll find they bloody well can if I go round there
DI Robert Lewis: Not necessary; I know who it was
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Oh god; I get so worried when you do this inscrutable thing


"Inspector Lewis: The Soul of Genius (#6.1)" (2012)
DI Robert Lewis: I hope you remembered to ask her some questions.
DS James Hathaway: Yes, Sir, I did. Thank you. In fact, she was very helpful.

DI Robert Lewis: Did you just bow to her?
DS James Hathaway: Yeah, I think I did.

[last lines]
DI Robert Lewis: What do I say to her? How do I tell her the truth?
DS James Hathaway: Tell her with kindness. You're good at that.

Rev Conor Hawes: Do you have brothers, either of you? Do you never give your brother a Chinese burn or hide his glasses?
DI Robert Lewis: No, I always liked my brother. Used to beat me at Subbuteo mind,

DS James Hathaway: [Introspectively] All of these lonely people pouring their lives into puzzles that can't be solved!
[after a moment]
DS James Hathaway: Ah, ignore me. I've got a touch of existential flu.
[Receiving no verbal resonse]
DS James Hathaway: What?
DI Robert Lewis: I'm going to say it just this once. For your sake you need a partner, James. You need someone in your life.
[after a pause]
DI Robert Lewis: Let's call it a day.
[They get up to leave]

DS James Hathaway: [about Mia and Vincent] There's something not right about these two.
DI Robert Lewis: They blink too much.

DI Robert Lewis: Allow me to escort you off the premises.
Vincent Vega: So that's it? You're not going to charge us?
DI Robert Lewis: The thing is you want us to, so, no, we're not going to charge you. You're not worth the paper work.


"Inspector Lewis: The Quality of Mercy (#3.2)" (2009)
Dr. Laura Hobson: Found this note on the body.
DI Robert Lewis: "Neither a borrower nor a lender be." Shakespeare?
Dr. Laura Hobson: Hamlet.
DI Robert Lewis: Wrong play.
Dr. Laura Hobson: Well, this is Oxford.
DI Robert Lewis: Don't I bloody know it.

DS James Hathaway: I feel there's something more. "By the pricking of my thumbs."
DI Robert Lewis: Don't tell me: Shakespeare.
DS James Hathaway: Bravo.
DI Robert Lewis: I'm getting sick of bloody Shakespeare.

DI Robert Lewis: These actors, they're like some old-fashioned criminal gang: close-knit, incestuous. Cardinal sin is grassing on your mates.
DS James Hathaway: Like the police force.
Ch. Supt. Innocent: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

DI Robert Lewis: I need a drink.
DS James Hathaway: You just had a cup of tea.
DI Robert Lewis: It was herbal.
DS James Hathaway: Oh, you *do* need a drink.

[last lines]
DI Robert Lewis: Thank you. For coming with me.
DS James Hathaway: It's OK.

Graham Wilkinson: I was wondering if I could pick your mind?
DI Robert Lewis: Maybe, if you could find them. It's been a long day.

Professor Denise Gregson: God, you sound so like a policeman!
DI Robert Lewis: That's because I am a bloody policeman!


"Inspector Morse: The Remorseful Day (#12.1)" (2000)
Chief Inspector Morse: Isn't it your round?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Do you think another one's a good idea?
Chief Inspector Morse: Think? That's why I want it - to think. I don't drink for pleasure!

[Morse asks Lewis whether he noticed a car following him as he was following the bus with Harry Repp on board]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Behind me?
Chief Inspector Morse: It's not the pantomime season, Lewis!

Sandra Harrison: You don't understand.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: No.
Sandra Harrison: Morse will.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [shouts] Inspector Morse is dead!

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [about a satchel full of money] Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Blackmail!
Chief Inspector Morse: I don't like the obvious.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Yeah, I know you don't, sir, but sometimes it's, it's just - obvious!

Chief Inspector Morse: It's your case, Lewis.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Yeah, now it is, yeah. Was yours though, wasn't it first off?
Chief Inspector Morse: Strange mentioned that, did he?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: In passing.
Chief Inspector Morse: He didn't say why he took me off it by any chance?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: No. You must have some idea surely, sir.
Chief Inspector Morse: Hunh. Strange by name!

[last lines]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [kisses Morse's body on the forehead] Goodbye, sir.


"Inspector Lewis: Intelligent Design: Part 2 (#7.6)" (2013)
Dr. Yardley: Hundreds of students pass through this college every year. I can't be expected to remember them all.
DI Lewis: Not even the ones who mysteriously vanish? There can't be too many of those surely.

DI Lewis: I can never get my head around kids killing themselves.

Stella Drew: [Referring to missing student Soo] She worked for a few of us in the group, vaguely competently as I remember.
DI Lewis: [Sarcastically] That good?
Stella Drew: Well, she wasn't exceptional.
DI Lewis: But according to the missing person's report she seems to have been extremely clever.
Stella Drew: Well, it's Oxford, Inspector. Everyone's extremely clever.

DI Lewis: [Referring to the desiccated body discovered in the attic] Any idea how long she's been up here?
Dr. Laura Hobson: A decade or more. Really not my area, I'm afraid.

DI Lewis: [to Stella Drew] I'm sorry. We're police officers. Decisions about the future of mankind don't really feature in our job description.


"Inspector Morse: Who Killed Harry Field? (#5.3)" (1991)
[Lewis is thinking of applying for promotion and a transfer to Traffic Division]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I might not pass the exam. Even if I did, it could be months before there's a promotion vacancy. The thing is, sir, I have to have your recommendation. And what I need to know is... d'you think I'm good enough to be recommended for promotion?
[long pause]
Chief Inspector Morse: I'm sorry to tell you, Lewis... that the answer to that... is yes.

[last lines]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: About me, going on and on, sir...
Chief Inspector Morse: To traffic?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Exactly. I've been having a bit of a rethink. The missus reckons I'd be miserable, and I'm not sure a hat would suit me just at the moment. Maybe I'll give meself another year.

Lewis: Tired, sir?
Morse: Yes.
Lewis: Why is that?
Morse: Lack of sleep.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: Tired, sir?
Chief Inspector Morse: Ye-e-es.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Why's that?
Chief Inspector Morse: Lack of sleep.

Chief Inspector Morse: Here we are again, Lewis... putting together the last moments of a complete stranger's life... showing more concern for him than we would when he was alive.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: He wasn't our problem when he was alive, was he?


"Inspector Morse: The Silent World of Nicholas Quinn (#1.2)" (1987)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: We should have arrested Donald Martin straightaway.
Chief Inspector Morse: Why?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Morse's Law. You said there's a 50:50 chance that whoever finds the body did the deed.
Chief Inspector Morse: That isn't Morse's Law. Morse's Law is "There's always time for one more pint".

Detective Sergeant Lewis: So he did kill Nicholas Quinn.
Chief Inspector Morse: Or did he, did he? Nah! How could he have done? He set the best crosswords in England.

Chief Inspector Morse: [standing in front of movie poster for The Last Tango In Paris] You ever seen this?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: No!
Chief Inspector Morse: Me neither.
[guilelessly]
Chief Inspector Morse: My doctor says I should lose some weight, stop eating butter, start eating, uh, polyunsaturates, whatever they are. Not quite the same though, is it, Lewis?

[last lines]
Chief Inspector Morse: Oh, no, they've changed the bloody film!
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Woah, '101 Dalmatians'. Great! I might pop home and fetch the wife and kids.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Lewis walks in as Morse is fighting with the killer] Need a hand, sir?
Chief Inspector Morse: GET THIS BASTARD OFF ME!


"Inspector Lewis: Fearful Symmetry (#6.3)" (2012)
DI Robert Lewis: Actually, Mrs. Addams, it was you we wanted to see if you don't mind. I would quite like a word.
Honey Addams: [Walking while holding 2 year-old Josh] I was just about to get Joe down, so...
DI Robert Lewis: That's all right. Sergeant Hathaway will keep an eye. He is good with kids. Used to be one himself.

DI Robert Lewis: [Reading from a flyer] 'The Ashmolean presents Marion Hammond: Fallen' question mark... a meditation on postlapsarian female gender identity.
DS James Hathaway: Opens this week. I've got tickets.
DS James Hathaway: The same Marion who left messages on her answering machine?
DS James Hathaway: Professional iconoclast. Socialphoto-anthropologist cultural pundit.
DI Robert Lewis: Oxford type there?
DS James Hathaway: [Emphatically] Oh, yeah.

Marion Hammond: [Looking admiringly at a provocative photo of Bess] Beautiful body!
[to Lewis]
Marion Hammond: I suppose 'body' means something entire;y different to you. What's that like being surrounded by dead people all the time?
DI Robert Lewis: [Laconically] It's a living.

Marion Hammond: Then a couple of months ago I met someone. We were together for a while.
DI Robert Lewis: So what happened?
Marion Hammond: Well, he started making those 'I want to stick around' signals, and...
DI Robert Lewis: And that's a bad thing?
Marion Hammond: For me, yes. I'm not good with tomorrow.

DI Robert Lewis: That launch of his was tethered with a length of polypropylene rope.
DS James Hathaway: Moored. Horses are tethered; boats are moored.


"Inspector Lewis: Expiation (#1.3)" (2007)
[Lewis is questioning Le Plassiter who is barely conscious and very close to death]
DI Robert Lewis: Don't pretend to be dead: it's bad manners and it won't work!

DI Robert Lewis: Doctor, you bring me all this because you secretly love me.
Dr. Laura Hobson: If I bring you anything at all, Lewis, you cocky sod, it's because I secretly love Hathaway.

Malcolm Croft: I can't believe this is happening.
DI Robert Lewis: I've met stranger people in stranger places.

DI Robert Lewis: What's the matter with You? Been crying?
DS James Hathaway: I always cry when I know I'm going to spend the day with You, Sir.

DI Robert Lewis: Hathaway, find me some dead people!
DS James Hathaway: Sir?
DI Robert Lewis: Crime! Now! Or I shall discharge. And it won't be a pretty sight.


"Inspector Lewis: Music to Die For (#2.2)" (2008)
[last lines]
DI Robert Lewis: Sometimes, Hathaway, I worry about your taste in music.
DI Robert Lewis: Sometimes, Inspector Lewis, I worry about your taste in women.
DS James Hathaway: [pauses] I'll drink to that. Prost!
DI Robert Lewis: [They clink bottles] Prost!

Charles Acres: Boxing gets rid of aggression - doesn't cause it.
DI Robert Lewis: I reckon you could say the same for murder.

DI Robert Lewis: [to Hathaway seeing a punch being thrown on a surveillance video] Call that a haymaker. It's a John Wayne thing.

Ann Kriel: You know, sometimes I feel like I've got an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
DI Robert Lewis: Who's winning?
Ann Kriel: Jury's out at the moment.

Dr. Laura Hobson: Anyway, what about the note?
DI Robert Lewis: Never trust suicide notes that aren't handwritten.


"Inspector Morse: Promised Land (#5.5)" (1991)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Admiring the beautiful countryside] Garden of Eden, this is!
Chief Inspector Morse: [Laconically] In that case, watch out for snakes.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [referring to her mother's stroke] Is your mother okay?
Karen Harding: This is her second one. She never really got her speech back from the first.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: My auntie had a stroke. She lost her speech. She was right as rain in six months.
Karen Harding: It doesn't rain here.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [to Morse] I think that you're suffering from a serious shortage of beer.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [to a depressed and remorseful Morse] You blame yourself too much, you know that? You're always blamin' yourself.
Chief Inspector Morse: I've got a lot to blame myself for...


"Inspector Lewis: The Indelible Stain (#6.4)" (2012)
DI Robert Lewis: Can you see these two killing Yelland?
DS James Hathaway: Perhaps very slowly.

DI Robert Lewis: Have you learned nothing from this case? Books are bad for your health.
DS James Hathaway: Not if you just read them.

[at the mortuary Lewis winces and points at his jaw]
DI Robert Lewis: You wouldn't have anything for a bad tooth in here, would you?
Dr. Laura Hobson: I could take it out for you if you like... Course, you'd have to be dead first!

Myra Barnet: [answering her front door] If you're double glazing, I don't want it; Jehovah's Witness, I don't need it; changing my gas supplier, you're all as crooked as each other so, all in all, it's a general "no thanks"
DI Robert Lewis: [displaying their badges] We're the police.


"Inspector Morse: Greeks Bearing Gifts (#5.4)" (1991)
Chief Inspector Morse: That's what I hate most about this job - breaking the bad news.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I know. That's why you always make me do it.

Chief Inspector Morse: Never seen a Greek tragedy, Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I saw "Zorba" and "Never on a Sunday."

Chief Inspector Morse: [Last lines] Almost operatic... a Greek tragedy. You should try the myths, Lewis. Sex is never simple. There's pleasure... then there's payment... retribution.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Me mother used to say, 'Laughing always comes to crying.'
Chief Inspector Morse: Virgil said to fear the Greeks... even when they come bearing gifts.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: I knew there was something niggling me. My wife saw that programme. I remember her saying it must have been a terrific help to other people in the same situation.
Chief Inspector Morse: In what way , exactly? Sounds nauseating! What is this modern compulsion to entertain unknown millions with your closest secrets?
Chief Superintendent Strange: You come from a pre-telly generation.


"Inspector Lewis: The Point of Vanishing (#3.3)" (2009)
[while searching a victim's bedroom, Lewis opens a wardrobe door and sees a pin-up of a woman with large breasts]
DS James Hathaway: If you get any closer, she's gonna poke your eye out!
DI Robert Lewis: [embarrassed] Just... studying the evidence.

DI Robert Lewis: I was quite flattered, to be honest. You reach a point in life you've got to conclude that basically you're invisible to beautiful women.
DS James Hathaway: I know that feeling.

[last lines]
DI Robert Lewis: Look, I know your pride's taken a beating, but don't do 'what ifs'. Go in there. Say goodbye properly.
DS James Hathaway: I can't.
DI Robert Lewis: Course you can. Go on. Lay the ghost to rest. Either that, or we feed you to Battleship Potemka. Eighty quid. Full body massage. Your call.
[Lewis holds out the money; Hathaway takes it, then returns some]
DS James Hathaway: I'll have a pint.

DI Robert Lewis: That's not a tan! It's blood pressure.


"Inspector Morse: The Way Through the Woods (#8.1)" (1995)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Death would have been instant, would it not?
Chief Inspector Morse: [Annoyed] "Occurred instantaneously", Lewis, or "was instantaneous" if you must. Coffee may be instant, death may not.
Dr. Laura Hobson, pathologist: Yes, Sergeant, it would have been instant.

Chief Inspector Morse: The glass is always half-full to you, isn't it, Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: "If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same".
Chief Inspector Morse: Kipling.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: No, All England Lawn Tennis Association, sir. It's written up above the players' entrance, Centre Court.
Chief Inspector Morse: So it is.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Surprised as Morse is pulling up] Morning, sir.
Chief Inspector Morse: [Dryly] Lewis.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I didn't expect you back in for a few weeks, yeah?
Chief Inspector Morse: A man can see enough of his own four walls.

Chief Inspector Morse: Perhaps it's time to go, but be careful what you wish for.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: How's that?
Chief Inspector Morse: There's always a price to pay, Lewis... always.


"Inspector Morse: Twilight of the Gods (#7.3)" (1993)
Chief Inspector Morse: Better drag the river, I suppose. You know, it would be nice to enjoy the Isis once in a while, instead of having to fish bodies out of it.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: You're not suffering job stress, are you, Sir?

Mrs. Thompson: He lives over there somewhere.
[Realizing she may be casting suspicion]
Mrs. Thompson: But I didn't mean... I hope you don't think that I wa...
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I never think, Ma'm. sergeants aren't allowed to - not in Thames Valley.
Mrs. Thompson: Hunnh?

Detective Sergeant Lewis: You look done in.
Chief Inspector Morse: [Depressively] I am... done in.
Chief Inspector Morse: [He puts down his pen and sighs] Art and life, Lewis. Art and life.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Oh, yeah?
Chief Inspector Morse: Always preferred art myself. Don't know about life. I'm glad to meet people like Bayden. I'm not that sorry but... Today, I supposed because I've always thought of artista as...
[Shrugs]
Chief Inspector Morse: ... as being something different.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: My dad used to love football - but he didn't like footballers. You have to keep the people that do things apart from what they do.


"Inspector Lewis: The Great and the Good (#2.4)" (2008)
DI Robert Lewis: You know, one of my first cases in Oxford, this old don turned toward me and he said, "Forgive me, are you a member of this city?"
DS James Hathaway: What did you say?
DI Robert Lewis: "No, I just live here." But he was making a point. This city, it's members only.

DI Robert Lewis: [Lewis injured his back, & Hathaway has brought him to hospital] If they ask...
DS James Hathaway: Yah, I know: "Do Not Resuscitate".
DI Robert Lewis: I was going to say, "Two sugars".

DI Robert Lewis: I've noticed, Hathaway, that you always call me "Sir" when you've said something mean.
DS James Hathaway: Public school.


"Inspector Lewis: Allegory of Love (#3.1)" (2009)
[last lines]
DS James Hathaway: You know what one of the Inklings is meant to have said when Tolkien started reading them 'Lord of the Rings'?
DI Robert Lewis: Oh, spare me, Sergeant; I've had enough of imaginary worlds.
DS James Hathaway: You'll like it, sir; I promise.
DI Robert Lewis: Go on then.
DS James Hathaway: They said: "Not more flipping elves!" Except they didn't say 'flipping'.
DI Robert Lewis: [laughs] I like it. Home, James.

DI Robert Lewis: Titus Burkhardt? What sort of name is that?
DS James Hathaway: He was a Perennialist.
DI Robert Lewis: What do they believe in... low maintenance gardening?

DI Robert Lewis: [Referring to the murdered girl] Do you disapprove of the way she was living?
Professor Hamid Jassim: More than you can imagine, I imagine.


"Inspector Lewis: The Ramblin' Boy: Part 1 (#7.3)" (2013)
DI Robert Lewis: I'm not going to make you a happy man.
DI Robert Lewis: I'm always happy. My face is misleading.

DI Robert Lewis: How would you describe your marriage?
Peter Faulkner: Heterosexual.

DI Robert Lewis: [Regarding the embalmed body of the old man] I'm not asking you to break any confidences.
Dr. Matt Whitby: [Walking and in a hurry] I'm already late for my class.
[He stops for a moment]
Dr. Matt Whitby: He'd been our patient for three years. Nothing unusual about his death... cancer.
DI Robert Lewis: Do you know the family?
Dr. Matt Whitby: [laughs ironically] I don't know any families. I just sit in there like a priest in the confessional, and they bring me their scabs and their limps and their imagined ailments one after another.
DI Robert Lewis: You like your job.
Dr. Matt Whitby: Probably as much as you like yours.
[He goes]
Dr. Matt Whitby: Sorry I can't be more help.


"Inspector Lewis: Dark Matter (#4.2)" (2010)
[Lewis and Hathaway enter the college dining room as a student is saying a long, incomprehensible Grace in Latin]
DI Robert Lewis: [whispers to Hathaway] Is that today's special?
DS James Hathaway: [whispers hesitantly, as if translating] Toad-in-the-hole. Spotted dick.

DI Robert Lewis: [to Jez] All right, that's all for now. The next time we ask a question, which we will, take a tip and don't lie.
DS James Hathaway: [to Jez as he walks away] Nice t-shirt.

DI Robert Lewis: [to Hathaway as a compliment] You're not so green as you're cabbage-looking.


"Inspector Lewis: Entry Wounds: Part 2 (#8.2)" (2014)
Robert Lewis: She found the body, so either she's part of it, or she's the key to finding out who is.
[Hathaway smiles]
Robert Lewis: What? It makes sense, doesn't it?
James Hathaway: No, it makes perfect sense. You remind me of someone I used to work for.

Robert Lewis: [about Alistair Stoke] The man had one complaint in thirty years; how many would a copper get in that time?
James Hathaway: You comparing what we do to brain surgery?
Robert Lewis: Nah. Police work's much more complicated than that.

[last lines]
[the two are in a canoe]
James Hathaway: Well, I thought you'd given up on the canoe.
Robert Lewis: Nah. Never give up. Just found alternate means of production.
James Hathaway: You paid someone to make it, didn't you?
Robert Lewis: Why not. I'm earning again.
James Hathaway: Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that, actually.
Robert Lewis: Oh, yeah?
James Hathaway: Well, it's been horrific working with you, obviously.
Robert Lewis: Obviously.
James Hathaway: But I've been thinking if it gets you out of the house in your old age, then I could possibly put up with you for a little longer.
Robert Lewis: Ah, that's good of you, James. That's really good of you.


"Inspector Lewis: Old School Ties (#1.2)" (2007)
Stephen Gilchrist: [Referring to the brutally murdered girl] She didn't deserve this.
DI Robert Lewis: Nobody does.

Diane Turnbull: I know what people like you think of Do-Gooders
DI Robert Lewis: What makes you think I'm a People Like Me?

DS James Hathaway: Well, Caesar was killed by a group of conspirators; gota check Brutus, Cassius, Casca...
DI Robert Lewis: This is Oxford, not ancient Rome
DS James Hathaway: They're easily confused, sir


"Inspector Morse: Last Seen Wearing (#2.2)" (1988)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Thing with you is if somebody tells you you can't do something, you go right on and do it, don't you?
Chief Inspector Morse: I make it a rule!

Detective Sergeant Lewis: Well, *I* thought Acum was a nice bloke...
Chief Inspector Morse: Kiss of death, saying that to me, Lewis; makes me very suspicious. He goes straight to the top of my list!

Chief Inspector Morse: Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Sir?
Chief Inspector Morse: When did she go missing?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: About six monthe ago.
Chief Inspector Morse: [Annoyed] Yes, yes, the date.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I don't know wxactly. I'd have to check in the file
Chief Inspector Morse: What's all this about flu, Lewis?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Dunno, sir.
Chief Inspector Morse: [Imitating hin] Dunno sir.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Anything else?
Chief Inspector Morse: I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lewis, but she's dead.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: How'dja know?
Chief Inspector Morse: Well, they put me on these things when they smell a corpse. One file... anyone. Two files... Ainly or McKay. I'm the three file man... No, she's dead.


"Inspector Lewis: Wild Justice (#5.2)" (2011)
DI Robert Lewis: [excusing himself] I'd better not keep Sergeant Hathaway waiting, or I'll be in trouble.
Prof Joanna Pinnock: What an interesting man! Why did he leave the seminary to become a policeman?
DI Robert Lewis: Didn't he tell you?
Prof Joanna Pinnock: No.
DI Robert Lewis: Me neither.

DI Robert Lewis: [referring to a black man walking in the hallway] The bishop's husband.
DS James Hathaway: Not something you hear every day.

DI Robert Lewis: I can hear you tutting even if you're not.
DS James Hathaway: I don't like misplaced apostrophes.


"Inspector Lewis: The Dead of Winter (#4.1)" (2010)
[last lines]
DI Robert Lewis: Between us, we make a not-bad detective.
[pause]
DI Robert Lewis: [ironically] I'm the brains, obviously.
DS James Hathaway: [chuckling] Obviously.

Dr. Laura Hobson: No James today?
DI Robert Lewis: He's in court.
Dr. Laura Hobson: Knickers off clothes lines again? Let's hope the judge shows leniency.

DI Robert Lewis: [Referring to Hathaway to Dr. Hobson] Ah, he's an awkward sod at the best of times, God knows, but he's my awkward sod. I don't want to go through all the palaver of getting another sergeant house-trained.


"Inspector Lewis: Old, Unhappy, Far Off Things (#5.1)" (2011)
[Lewis and Hathaway are questioning friends of a murder victim]
Lakshmi Eyre: Look, do you know how long we're going to have to hang on here? I've work to get back to.
DS Hathaway: On a weekend?
Lakshmi Eyre: [grinning] I'm CEO of Guilty Secrets.
DS Hathaway: What's Guilty Secrets?
DI Robert Lewis: It's a lingerie chain. Sergeant Hathaway doesn't get out much.
[Lakshmi gives Hathaway a seductive look]
DI Robert Lewis: [after leaving Lakshmi, Lewis and Hathaway walk across the quad]
DS Hathaway: Regular customer, are you, Sir, at Guilty Secrets? Loyalty card holder?
DI Robert Lewis: Every high street's got one - it's a major chain. Online and what-have-you.
DS Hathaway: Online? Well.
DI Robert Lewis: Just because I've heard of something you've not.
DS Hathaway: My mind is on a higher plane.

DI Robert Lewis: I'm just trying to find out who killed your friend, Professor.
Diana Ellerby: And are you any closer to doing that, do you think?
DI Robert Lewis: I believe so, but i could use some help. I'm not the enemy.
Diana Ellerby: Of course, you are. You just don't realize it.

DI Robert Lewis: What sort of name is that for a place?
DS Hathaway: It's from Pilgrim's Progress, by John Milton.
[pauses]
DS Hathaway: Didn't you go to Sunday School?
DI Robert Lewis: No. A couple of missionaries made it up to Newcastle once. Ended up in the cooking pot I think.


"Inspector Lewis: Your Sudden Death Question (#4.3)" (2010)
DI Robert Lewis: What do you think about quizzes?
DS James Hathaway: Terminally pointless. Right up there with slugs and black pudding.

Sebastian Anderson: Does this mean the rest of us can leave?
DI Robert Lewis: Not yet... maybe after tea.
Sebastian Anderson: [Sardonically] How very English!

DI Robert Lewis: [to Hathaway] Everybody lies - especially about sex.


"Inspector Morse: The Sins of the Fathers (#4.2)" (1990)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: You're not going to believe this, Sir - we have to visit a brewery!

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [to Morse] You should have seen the papers! They have half the Amazon Rain Forest there!

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Final lines] Fancy a pint, sir?
Chief Inspector Morse: [after a pause] You know, Lewis, I'm not absolutely sure I do.


"Inspector Morse: Ghost in the Machine (#3.1)" (1989)
[riding in Morse's car, listening to opera aria]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I liked that, it was good. What was it?
Chief Inspector Morse: That, Lewis, was Maria Callas.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Was it from "Cats"?
Chief Inspector Morse: No it most certainly was not.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: The wife wants to go to "Cats". Dunno why, she's allergic to them.

[arriving at Hanbury House]
Chief Inspector Morse: Restored of course - look at that window.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: All that stonework, must take months to do the pointing.
Chief Inspector Morse: You're not a bloody mason, are you?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: No such luck - I might have been a Chief Inspector by now if I was.
Chief Inspector Morse: "Were", Lewis, if you "were". You'll never get on if you can't master your subjunctives. Keep touching your forelock, we may be back in Oxford before lunch.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Shouldn't that be "might"?

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [as Lady Hanbury and Dr. Russell leave separately] Lovely woman, that.
Chief Inspector Morse: That's not a woman, Lewis, that's a Lady.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Dr. Russell, I mean.


"Inspector Lewis: Life Born of Fire (#2.3)" (2008)
[referring to Hathaway]
DI Robert Lewis: How do you trust somebody you don't really know?
Mr Cooper: You trust what you really know about them.

DI Robert Lewis: Life born of fire. I bet that means something in Latin.
DS James Hathaway: What makes you say that?
DI Robert Lewis: This is Oxford. Everything always means something in Latin

DI Robert Lewis: Good night?
DS James Hathaway: Eyes hurt; skin hurts; tongue too big for mouth.
DI Robert Lewis: Yeah, that's a good night.


"Inspector Lewis: The Mind Has Mountains (#5.3)" (2011)
[Caroline Eagleton, tutor of a female student who has just been murdered, tells Lewis about another student who had been harrassing the girl several months earlier and who was only spared being suspended because the girl pleaded his case. Lewis learns his identity - one of those who was present when the body was found]
Caroline Eagleton: If it turns out to be him, may God forgive me because I'll never forgive myself.
[Caroline Eagleton hands Lewis a file]
Caroline Eagleton: Here - Proctor's report, statements. The boy's name...
DI Robert Lewis: Adam Douglas.
Caroline Eagleton: You know him?
DI Robert Lewis: [snarls] Yeah. And don't be too *quick* to forgive yourself.

DS James Hathaway: Amy's body was in the garden, two floors below the room she was sleeping in. The cause of death is a blow to the head or the head hitting a rock.
DI Robert Lewis: Suicide?
DS James Hathaway: [Dryly] Dr. Hobson is consulting the cadaver even now,

DI Robert Lewis: [to Bethan] If you think of anything else you shouldn't say, I hope you'll say it to me.


"Inspector Morse: Second Time Around (#5.1)" (1991)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Concerning Redpath's explanations] What do you think?
Chief Inspector Morse: I've never heard so many lies. It was like sitting through an election campaign.

[last lines]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: That badge of yours, why did you keep it?
Chief Inspector Morse: Vanity, I suppose. It was my first public speech.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Did you win?
Chief Inspector Morse: No. We lost.


"Inspector Lewis: Generation of Vipers (#6.2)" (2012)
[Hathaway phones Lewis as he is watching TV news footage of them tackling an escaped drug dealer and wrestling him to the ground]
DI Robert Lewis: [gleefully] You watching this too? Best telly in years!

Dr. Laura Hobson: [Referring to the murdered Miranda Thornton] She had her 15 seconds too. Wrote a book back in the 90s how women could survive without men... quite influential.
DI Robert Lewis: Did it influence you?
Dr. Laura Hobson: No, of course not. I came to the conclusion years ago.


"Inspector Morse: The Day of the Devil (#7.2)" (1993)
[Strange wonders what sort of texts Heironymous St John's shop sells. To Morse's amazement, Lewis shows off his newly-acquired knowledge of the Occult]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [glibly] Oh, exegeses on ancient grimoires, I should think, sir.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Speaking of Barrie] How can someone so bright believe in all that stuff?
Canon Humphrey Appleton: I believe in an historical figure who made the lame walk and the blind see, and who raised himself up from the dead, or don't you believe that, Sergeant?


"Inspector Lewis: The Ramblin' Boy: Part 2 (#7.4)" (2013)
[Lewis and Innocent are in the pub celebrating the end of the case. Hathaway arrives back from his holiday in Kosovo. Then Dr Hobson arrives and kisses Lewis passionately]
Dr. Laura Hobson: [seductively] I've been thinking about doing that all day.
DI Robert Lewis: Same here.
[Hathaway and Innocent smirk and exchange glances]
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: [nonchalantly] Evening.
Dr. Laura Hobson: James. Gosh, you're sunburnt.
DS James Hathaway: Thank you.
DI Robert Lewis: I'll get the drinks in.
Dr. Laura Hobson: No, *I'll* get them.
DI Robert Lewis: No, no. We'll *both* get them.
[Lewis and Hobson walk away to the bar]
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: How long... ?
DS James Hathaway: I turn my back for five minutes...

Jack Cornish: A drink for old time's sake?
DI Robert Lewis: [Bitterly] There isn't a spoon long enough.
Jack Cornish: For supping with the Devil?
[sarcastically]
Jack Cornish: Very good, Robbie. Almost witty.


"Inspector Lewis: Down Among the Fearful: Part 1 (#7.1)" (2013)
Vicki Walmsley: Do you believe in God? An afterlife?
DI Robert Lewis: No, but I don't believe in conning people either.

DI Robert Lewis: [to Hathaway] You still think it's wrong to want to put somebody out of their pain.
DS James Hathaway: Just because I'm uncomfortable with it, doesn't make it wrong.


"Inspector Lewis: Falling Darkness (#4.4)" (2010)
DI Robert Lewis: It's stem cells you're involved in here? Is that right?
Professor Rufus Strickfaden: With a view to the treatment of progressive degenerative illnesses, that's right. Hello. Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, motor neurone disease, MS.
DI Robert Lewis: Important work.
Professor Rufus Strickfaden: We like to think so.
DI Robert Lewis: But not without its critics.
[pause]
DI Robert Lewis: Professor Strickfaden?
Professor Rufus Strickfaden: Science is about the pursuit of truth. That *always* threatens someone.

Professor Angus Rawbone: [Leaving a house with a dead body, presumably after the initial on-site examination] Between 2 and 4 this morning, to save you asking; have to wait for the PM
[Post Mortem = autopsy]
Professor Angus Rawbone: for anything further
DI Robert Lewis: First impressions?
Professor Angus Rawbone: Throat cut from left to right, finger marks on the lips and chin? I think we can discount suicide
DS James Hathaway: You know, what he lacks in bedside manner, he more than makes up for in basic incivility


Inspector Lewis (2006) (TV)
DS Hathaway: Has Oxford changed much since you've been away?
DI Lewis: No. It changed before I went.

DI Lewis: Listen, You grab a table. I'll get them in.
DS Hathaway: Thanks, Sir. Mine is a pint.
DI Lewis: Mine is a pint, sergeant. You are driving.
[Throws car keys at Hathaway who catches easily]
DI Lewis: Orange juice or what?


"Inspector Lewis: And the Moonbeams Kiss the Sea (#2.1)" (2008)
[while at Dr Hobson's party, a neighbour reported an intruder so Lewis and Hathaway left the party to investigate. Now the neighbour has complained that they were drunk and facetious to him. Innocent rebukes them]
DI Robert Lewis: We promise not to do it again.
Chief Superintendent Innocent: Good. You see, the principle behind a partnership such as yours is that the junior officer matures to the level of the senior, rather than that the senior officer should regress.
DI Robert Lewis: [chastened] I'll bear it in mind.
[Innocent walks away, then turns back to them]
Chief Superintendent Innocent: Was it a good party?
DS James Hathaway: Compared with what?
Chief Superintendent Innocent: Serves me right for asking!

[Lewis and Hathaway have been called to a murdered heating engineer in the basement of the Bodleian Library]
DS James Hathaway: You realise what we've got, Sir?
DI Robert Lewis: What?
DS James Hathaway: The Body in the Library.
DI Robert Lewis: Now that is *definitely* facetious.


"Inspector Lewis: Entry Wounds: Part 1 (#8.1)" (2014)
DI James Hathaway: I thought you had *lots* of plans for your retirement.
DI Robert Lewis: I did; I do.
DI James Hathaway: You not enjoying it?
DI Robert Lewis: Of course I am. Just taking a bit of a break.
DI James Hathaway: You're taking a break... from your retirement.
DI Robert Lewis: Yeah, that's all

Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: If it's consistency you want, I refer you to Exhibit A...
[indicates Lewis]
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Feared extinct, now back in its natural habitat.
DI Robert Lewis: A little respect for the elderly.
Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent: Not likely.


"Inspector Morse: Deadly Slumber (#7.1)" (1993)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [Annoyed] This could take us half the night! I've been on the go since eight o'clock this morning.
Chief Inspector Morse: So have I, Sergeant.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Yeah, but I haven't spent the last two weeks lying on a beach in Italy, have I?
Chief Inspector Morse: [Testily] I spent my holiday engaged in cultural pursuits, Lewis, not lying on the beach.

Chief Inspector Morse: Why would a man admit to murder and then lie about how he did it?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Unless he didn't do it.


"Inspector Morse: The Infernal Serpent (#4.1)" (1990)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Why didn't he come to us about his kid?
Chief Inspector Morse: They owned him, he had no power. Not a soul would have believed him.

Blanche Copley-Barnes: [after identifying her husband's umbrella] Well, do we make the proverbial noises now?
Chief Inspector Morse: I'm sorry?
Blanche Copley-Barnes: Well aren't we supposed to say "would you like a drink?" so you can say "not while I'm on duty" then I provide tea instead?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Tea would go down nicely...
Chief Inspector Morse: [interrupting Lewis abruptly] We don't have time, I'm afraid.


"Inspector Morse: Death Is Now My Neighbour (#10.1)" (1997)
Adele Cecil: This anagram: "Around Eve"? I've tried and I've tried, but all I can come up with is "Endeavour". And no-one's called Endeavour. Surely?
Chief Inspector Morse: I told you, my mother was a Quaker. And Quakers sometimes call their children names like Hope and Patience. My father was obsessed with Captain Cook, and his ship was called Endeavour. Why aren't you both laughing?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [mutters] You poor sod.
Adele Cecil: I'm not calling you "Endeavour".
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Call him "Sir". He likes that.
Adele Cecil: Oh no. No, I'll stick to "Morse" - like everyone else.
Chief Inspector Morse: [raises beer glass] Cheers.

Detective Sergeant Lewis: Work... that's the secret of life. You have to buckle down and, uh, give it your best, and, uh, that's what my father said.


"Inspector Morse: Dead on Time (#6.1)" (1992)
[Lewis tells Morse that he has just taken his wife to a new Indian restaurant]
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I'm a steak and baked spud man myself, but Mrs Lewis likes to live on the culinary edge.


"Inspector Lewis: Whom the Gods Would Destroy (#1.1)" (2007)
[At the reception for the chamber music recital]
Chief Superintendent Innocent: You *do* scrub up well, Inspector.
DI Robert Lewis: Oh, this penguin suit's been to far too many Masonic dinners - the trouser leg keeps rolling up of its own accord.


"Inspector Morse: Masonic Mysteries (#4.4)" (1990)
Chief Inspector Morse: Lewis, do you believe in evil?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: What?
Chief Inspector Morse: No, no. It's no use blaming things on the Devil or God, but some people seem to be wicked for the sake of it. There may not be a devil, but there's devilry all right.


"Inspector Morse: Last Bus to Woodstock (#2.4)" (1988)
Chief Inspector Morse: It's murder, Lewis.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Why do you say that?
Chief Inspector Morse: Scratches on the face, coded messages. It's right up my street.


"Inspector Morse: The Daughters of Cain (#9.1)" (1996)
Chief Inspector Morse: [referring to Brenda Brooks] That woman is too cool. It's like she's got it all rehearsed.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: She was crying!
Chief Inspector Morse: Not behind the eyes.


"Inspector Morse: The Wolvercote Tongue (#2.1)" (1987)
Chief Inspector Morse: They say sex can be very good for the over sixty-fives.
Detective Sergeant Lewis: Oh, do they?
Chief Inspector Morse: Especially if you didn't get much before sixty-five.


"Inspector Lewis: Down Among the Fearful: Part 2 (#7.2)" (2013)
DS James Hathaway: [Looking at Beatty's appointment book] A lot of clients became regulars. He must have been good.
DI Robert Lewis: I never realized so many people fell for this kind of thing.
DS James Hathaway: Grief makes people irrational.
DI Robert Lewis: You can't blame them for that, I suppose.
DS James Hathaway: But you can blames the parasites that feed off them.


"Inspector Morse: The Secret of Bay 5B (#3.4)" (1989)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: [to Lewis] It's a question of 'find the frau.' There's a woman in there somewhere.


"Inspector Morse: Driven to Distraction (#4.3)" (1990)
Detective Sergeant Lewis: You can't arrest the man just because you don't like him.
Chief Inspector Morse: More's the pity.


"Inspector Morse: Deceived by Flight (#3.3)" (1989)
[Lewis has been pretending to be the college porter and has discovered a man is lying to him]
Barker: Aren't you going to arrest him?
Detective Sergeant Lewis: What for?
Barker: He told you a lie!
Detective Sergeant Lewis: I told him lots of lies.


"Inspector Lewis: Intelligent Design: Part 1 (#7.5)" (2013)
DI Robert Lewis: We understand you had dealings with Professor Richard Seager.
Debbie Cliff: Dealings? I've not heard it called that before. He killed my daughter if that's what you're getting at.
DI Robert Lewis: He was found murdered at home this morning.
Debbie Cliff: [Sarcastically] Oh, there you go! I'll buy a lottery ticket later.