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: Cellphone is to teenager what coffin is to vampire. Chelsea Hansen
: And mom's the remote! Adam Hansen
: Yes, grasshopper. Now help me get this downstairs. Chelsea Hansen
: [Try to lift heavy coffin
] This is where the whole cellphone-coffin analogy breaks down.
: [reading through personals' ads to find their mom a date
] Currently incarcerated, what does that mean? Chelsea Hansen
: In prison.
: I'm not going to let Dimitri turn Mom into an onion. Chelsea Hansen
: A what? Adam Hansen
: A minion, I told him vampires turn people into minions.