Texas Ranger Joe Riley
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Quotes for
Texas Ranger Joe Riley (Character)
from "Laredo" (1965)

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"Laredo: The Deadliest Kid in the West (#1.27)" (1966)
Captain Edward Parmalee: I said I might give you another chance under certain conditions.
Chad Cooper: That's mighty kind of you, Captain.
Reese Bennett: She was mighty persuasive, wasn't she, Captain.
Captain Edward Parmalee: Persuasion had nothing to do with it. It just so happens I have an assignment that you three are eminently qualified for. It's a dirty, thankless job that nobody volunteered for and if you three think you can handle it...
Chad Cooper, Reese Bennett, Joe Riley: Yes sir!
Captain Edward Parmalee: You volunteering?
Chad Cooper, Reese Bennett, Joe Riley: Yes sir!
Captain Edward Parmalee: In that case you get first crack at the new equipment.

Reese Bennett: Now, Captain, that ain't fair!
Captain Edward Parmalee: Ain't fair? Aiding and abetting the escape of a wanted man; coming in here with a cockeyed collection of pious pervarications! You've pulled some slippery shenanigans in the past, but this is the topper! I ought to throw the book at you. If I hadn't promised Missy...
Joe Riley: Ah ha...
Chad Cooper: Oh ho...

[Joe is making a poultice for Jack's wound]
Missy Mabry: Learn your doctorin' in school?
Joe Riley: I never had much schoolin'. Learned this from a Mescalero medicine man.
Missy Mabry: Papa says the Mescaleros are savages.
Joe Riley: Some. Just like some white men.

Reese Bennett: [Reese draws his gun to attack Jack's house] Let's go!
Chad Cooper: Now, Reese, that's a downright unfriendly way to go callin' on a fella.
Joe Riley: He's liable to get a real unfriendly reception, too.
Reese Bennett: Well, what kind of etiquette would you two use to go callin' on a train robber?