Arlene Fowler
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Quotes for
Arlene Fowler (Character)
from "True Blood" (2008)

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"True Blood: The Fourth Man in the Fire (#1.8)" (2008)
Arlene Fowler: [after meeting Amy] Sam! Think we might have found a replacement for Dawn.
Sookie Stackhouse: [to Jason] Looks like you did too.

Arlene Fowler: Everytime I get a night off my babysitter falls through on me.

Arlene Fowler: [about getting married again] I know I've done it four other times, but it never gets old.

Rene Lenier: Ahhh, I think we got a flat tire.
Arlene Fowler: Oh, come on, baby, the kids are waiting on us. I don't wanna leave them with that vampire one second longer than I have to.
Rene Lenier: Okay, okay, okay. I'm getting to it, woman.
[Rene climbs out of the truck]
Rene Lenier: Baby.
Arlene Fowler: What?
Rene Lenier: Pass me that Maglite, will you?
[Arlene finds the flashlight in the glove compartment, and climbs out of the truck, too]
Arlene Fowler: [trying to turn the flashlight on] Crap, it's burnt out.
Rene Lenier: Are you sure? You better check it. I just put some fresh batteries in there.
[Arlene pops open the battery compartment, and ring falls to the ground]
Rene Lenier: [picking the ring up] Arlene Fowler... would you do me the honor of being my wife?

"True Blood: Bad Blood (#3.1)" (2010)
Tara Thornton: Arlene, you could at least pretend you give a fuck!
Arlene Fowler: I give a fuck.

Terry Bellefleur: Are we still on?
Arlene Fowler: I don't know, Terry. I need to focus on my kids!
[funning from the room]
Terry Bellefleur: ...Peculiar.

Arlene Fowler: I'm sorry you fell in love with a serial killer, alright, but honestly, who here hasn't?

"True Blood: Strange Love (#1.1)" (2008)
Arlene Fowler: [on the phone with one of her children] Honey, if Rene tells you you're too young to watch a scary movie on HBO, then I'm sidin' with him!
[Sam clears his throat]
Arlene Fowler: I know he's not your daddy, but your daddy does not wanna live with us anymore, remember?
[Sam sighs and backs away]

Arlene Fowler: [to her kid over the phone] You wanna timeout? 'Cause I can give you one over the phone!

Lafayette Reynolds: Ya bitches just don't know what you're missin'. I got six gears on these hips.
Dawn Green: No, baby. You don't know what you're missing.You can watch her walk away... make you wanna slap it? Ooo, you wanna slap it?
[slaps her butt as she walks away]
Lafayette Reynolds: Everybody know that. Everybody been there. Ain't that right J-John's been there!
Arlene Fowler: [backing away, hands under her breasts] I'm slapping it. Take these, baby. Peaches and cream.
Lafayette Reynolds: [shaking his hips] I'll give you a little cocoa.
Arlene Fowler: Peaches and cream.
Lafayette Reynolds: Little cocoa.

"True Blood: I Will Rise Up (#2.9)" (2009)
Arlene Fowler: [about Daphne] She was clumsy, stupid and mean. But I wouldn't wish that kinda death on a possum.

Arlene Fowler: [crying to Terry] Please talk to me. I mean if what we did was so terrible...
Terry Bellefleur: No, no! Arlene, don't cry. I didn't mean to be peculiar at you. I just don't know what we did.
Arlene Fowler: We had sex. Didn't we?
Terry Bellefleur: Did we?
Arlene Fowler: You can't remember?
Terry Bellefleur: Don't take this the wrong way, but... nope.
Arlene Fowler: Oh, baby. Oh me neither. I didn't know for sure.
Terry Bellefleur: Is that good?
Arlene Fowler: I don't know and I don't care. As long as you're not mad at me.

Maryann Forrester: [to Merlotte's customers] The god who comes demands his sacrifice! Where is Sam Merlotte?
Arlene Fowler: [tranced] He ain't been here all day.
Maryann Forrester: Well, find him and bring him to me!

"True Blood: It Hurts Me Too (#3.3)" (2010)
Terry Bellefleur: I'm moving in with Arlene Fowler.
Sam Merlotte: [as Terry higs him] Ha! Congratulations. You're cracking my ribs, buddy. Hey, hey. Hey, now, it's gonna be okay. I mean, sure, it's scary. She's a little crazy, but so are... Is everybody, you know? Don't worry.
Terry Bellefleur: I ain't worried. I've never been so not worried. This is what normal people do, Sam. They fall in love. They make each other laugh. And they move in together. They raise kids. They fight over money. They get old and fat together, and it's normal. And it's happening to me. I can't believe it.
Sam Merlotte: Well, I can. Nobody deserves it more,
Arlene Fowler: Baby? I don't feel too good today, okay? I ain't cleaned nothing, I ain't cleared nothing out.
Terry Bellefleur: I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Terry Bellefleur: Spit it out, baby, you're breaking up with me.
Arlene Fowler: NO! No, it's not, it's not...
Terry Bellefleur: [Concluding her sentence] Not you, it's me... If I had a nickel for every time I... I'd have fifteen cents.

"True Blood: Escape from Dragon House (#1.4)" (2008)
Hoyt Fortenberry: [about Dawn] I don't get it. She was so pretty.
Arlene Fowler: Well, maybe it was just her time.
Rene Lenier: [scoffing] Ahhhhh! She was only 23 years old. Ain't no 23 year old in the world whose time has come.

Arlene Fowler: [laughing, after her argument with Rene] If all our conversation end with them saying 'fine', why do they bother puttin' up a fight?

"True Blood: Sparks Fly Out (#1.5)" (2008)
Arlene Fowler: [to Sookie about her date] Vamp club not all it was made out to be, huh?

Lisa Fowler: [about Bill] Mama, he's so white.
Arlene Fowler: No, darling. We're white. He's dead.

"True Blood: I Got a Right to Sing the Blues (#3.6)" (2010)
Peach: Aaaaand... what is your vegetable of the day?
Arlene Fowler: That would be the peas.
Peach: Hmm. And... how are those prepared?
Arlene Fowler: Those are dumped out of a can into a big pot and heated up. I mean where do you think you are, lady, Red Lobster?
Peach: Hey, I am paying good money to eat here. You wanna keep any of that cheap dyed hair, you better stop mouthing off to me.

Arlene Fowler: [Sarcastically imitating Peach] And I want a freshly cut lemon in my ice tea, not some dried up thing that's been sitting around all day.
[Her knife slips, and she cuts her finger]
Arlene Fowler: Dagnabbit, look what I just did!
[Holds up finger with blood to Jessica]
Arlene Fowler: . Oh, I got lemon juice on it too.
[Jessica's fangs appear - Arelene squeals, holds up her forefingers to show a cross to Jessica]
Arlene Fowler: .
Jessica Hamby: No, sorry, Arlene, sometimes it just happens.
Arlene Fowler: Please don't kill me, I'm pregnant. That probably just makes you want to eat me even more.
[Walks out of the bar area with her finger-cross facing Jessica]
Arlene Fowler: This is why people hate y'all.
Jessica Hamby: Well, I just haven eaten in days.

"True Blood: Burning House of Love (#1.7)" (2008)
Arlene Fowler: Suppose she gets pregnant. How in the world can she nurse a baby with fangs?

Terry Bellefleur: [after Malcolm and his gang left] I froze up! I let everybody down. I didn't do nothin'.
Arlene Fowler: [taking his hand] This ain't Baghdad, Terry. It's Merlotte's, okay. Ain't nothing anybody coulda done.
Terry Bellefleur: [pauses] I'm supposed to.

"True Blood: You'll Be the Death of Me (#1.12)" (2008)
Arlene Fowler: [pacing, anxious] Oh, sweet Jesus! Please forgive me. I had no idea, Sookie. I swear!
Sookie Stackhouse: [still medicated] Of course you didn't.
Arlene Fowler: I brought him around my kids. I slept in the bed with him every night and all that time, it was nothing but lies. I mean his name, his accent. God! You think you know someone. How could I not know?
Sookie Stackhouse: None of us did. Don't blame yourself, honey.
Arlene Fowler: Can't help it. I told you to stay out of my thoughts. Isn't that why you didn't listen in on Rene?
Sookie Stackhouse: It was like he kept that part of himself locked away in some dark corner of his mind.
Arlene Fowler: [going to her] Sookie, I am so sorry. I want you to promise me somethin', okay?
Sookie Stackhouse: Okay.
Arlene Fowler: Someday, if I ever find another man, I want you to look inside his head and tell me everything that's in there.
Sookie Stackhouse: Uh... Arlene, it-it doesn't really work that way.
Arlene Fowler: Just promise me, okay? 'Cause I have the worst taste in men. Is-is Bill goin' to be okay?
Sookie Stackhouse: [her faces crumbles as she cries] I don't think so... no.
Arlene Fowler: [hugging her and crying] Oh, honey. Oh, sweet baby.

Terry Bellefleur: People disappear all the time, but they're never really gone. The good parts of them always stay put.
Arlene Fowler: I hope you're right about that, Terry.
Terry Bellefleur: Your hair's like a sunset after a bomb went off... Pretty.

"True Blood: Nothing But the Blood (#2.1)" (2009)
Arlene Fowler: Hey, Sam. I don't know when you're plannin' on hiring another waitress, but me and Sookie are about to drop from exhaustion.

Terry Bellefleur: [slapping money down on the tables] That's for your drinks. Now ya'll need to leave! Up!
[as the gossipers leave]
Terry Bellefleur: Shake a leg! Out, go! Keep walking. Don't eyeball me!
Arlene Fowler: [hugging him, crying] You didn't have to do that.

"True Blood: You Smell Like Dinner (#4.2)" (2011)
Arlene Fowler: [about baby Mikey] He is rotten to the core, just like his daddy!

"True Blood: I Don't Wanna Know (#1.10)" (2008)
Sam Merlotte: [about her party] What do you want it took look like?
Terry Bellefleur: A débutante ball.
Arlene Fowler: [happily] Hug your neck! You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. I'll be right back. Thank you, Sam!
[walks off]
Sam Merlotte: How'd you know what she wanted?
Terry Bellefleur: My cousin Portia was a deb, in Shreveport when she turned 18. Every Bellefleur woman's been doin' it since they started having 'em before the Revolutionary War.
Sam Merlotte: Must be nice to come from such an old family.
Terry Bellefleur: All families are old, Sam. Some just keep better records.

"True Blood: I Found You (#7.2)" (2014)
Arlene Fowler: Y'all, I know I've had some pretty shitty luck and it probably ain't too reassuring to be in a situation this fucked up with me at your side, but that is why you gotta believe me when I tell you that I did not survive four lousy husbands, a serial killer boyfriend, and the sorta suicide of my love Terry to die in the dingy basement of a fucking vampire bar.

"True Blood: Save Yourself (#5.12)" (2012)
Arlene Fowler: Who knew watching an alien give birth could be so comforting?
Lafayette Reynolds: Are you kidding me? It's always the weird stuff that's the best.

"True Blood: Release Me (#2.7)" (2009)
Arlene Fowler: Thank Jesus Christ, Santa Clause, and Hare Krishna.

"True Blood: Scratches (#2.3)" (2009)
Arlene Fowler: [in a rush to Sam] I know, I know. I'm late. But Lisa decided to give Coby a nose piercing like she saw on America's Next Top Model and now he's got an infection.

"True Blood: Beyond Here Lies Nothin' (#2.12)" (2009)
Coby Fowler: Mamma, when you were away for all that time, you didn't see Rene?
Arlene Fowler: Oh no. I think he's still on his vacation. Eat, eat.
[walking away]
Lisa Fowler: [to Coby] Yep. I'm pretty sure he's dead.

"True Blood: She's Not There (#4.1)" (2011)
Arlene Fowler: [about Mikey and his toys] Decapitating Barbie dolls? What the hell kind of baby does that?