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Quotes for
Captain Barbera (Character)
from "The Amazing Spider-Man" (1977)

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"The Amazing Spider-Man: Spider-Man (#1.1)" (1977)
Captain Barbera: Where's the money, Monahan? Where's the 5.000 big ones?
Monahan: There must have been somebody else in the car.
Captain Barbera: Wrong, Monahan. Wrong. He was a lone wolf. But a crazy lone wolf. Look at 'em. Driving right into a brick wall. Can you explain all this to me, please?

Captain Barbera: Where's the money?
Professor Noah Tyler: [in hospital bed] What money?
Captain Barbera: Who told you to rob that payroll?
Professor Noah Tyler: I don't know.
Captain Barbera: Well, professor, you don't have very many answers.
Professor Noah Tyler: I'm afraid you know more about this than I do.
Captain Barbera: Then we're both in trouble. Who's the big mastermind? Who's the screwball that put this idea in your head?
Professor Noah Tyler: I... I don't know.
Captain Barbera: We're back to square one.
Professor Noah Tyler: I don't even know when it was done.
Captain Barbera: And I was saving the easiest question till last...

Peter Parker: Do you mean, the person you'd like to question is Spider-Man?
Captain Barbera: I do.
Peter Parker: What do you want to talk to him about?
Captain Barbera: Maybe I wanna ask him where he buys his webs.

J. Jonah Jameson: Congratulations, Captain. Those men whould have flown away if you hadn't called their bluf.
Captain Barbera: Well, to tell you the truth, eh, I had a little help. That character in the clown suit, eh, he worked out pretty good.
J. Jonah Jameson: That freak! He ought to be locked up. Running around like a one-man army. I don't know where he came from, but I sure hope he goes back there.
Captain Barbera: Maybe you're right. People shouldn't interfere with the law. Let the police do that.
J. Jonah Jameson: Exactly. You men deserve all the credit for this job.
Captain Barbera: Well, if that's the way you're gonna put it in your paper, how can I stop ya?
[they laugh and pat each other on the back]

"The Amazing Spider-Man: The Deadly Dust: Part 1 (#1.2)" (1978)
Inspector DeCarlo: In theory, just two kilo's of Plutonium Oxide could cause millions of cases of lung cancer.
Captain Barbera: Okay, stop it, you're scaring me.
Inspector DeCarlo: I mean to!

Captain Barbera: What's bugging you?
Gale Hoffman: Well, Peter got a call from a man who said he was John Ashton-Smith. He wanted to interview him for the news as a student spokesman. And after we got there, they tried to kidnap us.
Inspector DeCarlo: Kidnap you? Why?
Peter Parker: Well, they thought I had something to do with the missing plutonium.
Captain Barbera: Oh, that's funny, we had the same idea!

Peter Parker: Excuse me, Sir, you say you saw Spider-Man right here in this lab?
Security Guard: No, on the roof!
Captain Barbera: What difference does it make? Who else whould come in the window?
Gale Hoffman: Most cat burglars come in windows.

"The Amazing Spider-Man: The Curse of Rava (#1.4)" (1978)
Peter Parker: [pointing at a picture of Mandak] Every time he's around, something bad happens.
Captain Barbera: Really? I could say the same thing about you.

J. Jonah Jameson: You did an excellent job, Captain.
Captain Barbera: Why thank you, sir. I'd like to take all the credit, but I have to admit I couldn't have pulled it off without Spider-Man.
Peter Parker: Oh, well, he'd be delighted to hear you say that, Captain, you mind if the Bugle quotes you on that?
J. Jonah Jameson: Not on your life! I'm not giving any recognition to some freak who runs around in a red and blue union suit!

Captain Barbera: [Spidey has saved Captain Barbera from being crushed between a car and a truck] Thanks, I'd've been a Barbera sandwich.
Spider-Man: If I hadn't pulled out the baloney!

"The Amazing Spider-Man: The Deadly Dust: Part 2 (#1.3)" (1978)
Captain Barbera: Parker, let me ask you something: deep down, do you really think this bomb will explode?
Peter Parker: Well, let me put it to you this way: as far as we know, since 1945, everyone who has attempted to explode an atomic bomb, has succeeded on the first try.

"The Amazing Spider-Man: Escort to Danger (#1.6)" (1978)
Captain Barbera: Tell me something Parker, whenever there's trouble, how is it that you always seem to end up right in the middle of it?
Peter Parker: Just luck, I guess.