Clarence 'Clay' Morrow
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Quotes for
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow (Character)
from "Sons of Anarchy" (2008)

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"Sons of Anarchy: Giving Back (#1.5)" (2008)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: The hand on the dick. What's the deal?
Chuck: I'm sorry man, sorry. I have this condition. I'm not even aware of it.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Condition?
Chuck: CMD, Compulsive Masturbation Disorder. I couldn't get the right meds in Stockton, so it's a little outta control right now.
Piermont 'Piney' Winston: You know, I used to have that. Then I turned 13.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Hey you all better be at that fundraiser tomorrow, unless you want a size 9 high heel boot up your ass.
Bobby: You comin?
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I'd rather have my balls cut off... what, too soon for that joke?

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: You know what I'll put it up for a vote, but it's not gonna pass.
Gemma Teller Morrow: I love you.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: That loves gonna kill me.

Gemma Teller Morrow: I was talking to April Hobart. What do you think about letting Kyle come tomorrow?
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I don't think about it. Opie went to prison cause of that asshole. He's excommunicated.
Gemma Teller Morrow: It's not for Kyle. April stayed in Charming when you stripped his patch, divorced him.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: She divorced him cause he was nailing everything with two sets of lips. The answer is no.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: The hand on the dick, what's the deal?
Chuck Marstein: I'm sorry man, sorry, I have this condition, I'm not even aware of it.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Condition?
Chuck Marstein: CMD, Compulsive Masturbation Disorder. I couldn't get the right meds in Stockton, so it's a little outta control right now.
Piermont 'Piney' Winston: You know, I used to have that, than I turned 13.

Gemma Teller Morrow: I love you.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [to himself after she leaves] That love's gonna kill me.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: So, I hear you got an offer I can't refuse.

Jackson 'Jax' Teller: I'm sure we're all on Gemma's shit list by now.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I live on that shit list.

"Sons of Anarchy: AK-51 (#1.6)" (2008)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: What did you do?
Gemma Teller Morrow: Same thing you did. Nailed some little tart from Nevada.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: All the shit I got coming outta my ears and you go and do this.
Gemma Teller Morrow: You should have thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I didn't ask her to come here.
Gemma Teller Morrow: But she's here.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Well that's not my fault.
Gemma Teller Morrow: And it's not my pussy.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I'm a mechanic and a motorcycle enthusiast.

"Sons of Anarchy: Fun Town (#1.3)" (2008)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [to Darby] Don't think too big. A small mind suits you.

Pastor: It's not too late for you men. Jesus Christ, our lord and savior, can save you. He can deliver you from all your transgressions.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I appreciate your zeal, padre, but my transgressions are all I got left.

"Sons of Anarchy: Seeds (#1.2)" (2008)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: What kinda awful shit did your mother do to you?
Tig: What do you mean?

Alex 'Tig' Trager: Those two dead Mexicans in the warehouse hole... I was hitting them.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Jesus Christ. Both of them?
Alex 'Tig' Trager: Oh yeah. Kind of a taco twofer thing.

"Sons of Anarchy: Aon Rud Persanta (#6.11)" (2013)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Where are the Irish?
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: In Ireland

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: So, what happens now, Pres?
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: We settle with the Irish.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Hmm. And, uh, how do we do that with three dead bodies?
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: How would you do it?
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Well... I mean the smart plan would be to blame it on a bad relationship. You know, two guys with some history get into a beef. One thing leads to another. Couldn't be helped.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Sounds about right.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [a moment of silence as Clay finally realizes what the plan is] So, I guess you, uh, had another vote I wasn't privy to.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Yeah, we did. This time it was unanimous.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [gives a small nod, accepting his fate] Fair enough.

"Sons of Anarchy: Old Bones (#1.7)" (2008)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: And if I were to ask for some comfort? Would you be about that?
Rita 'Cherry': No. Sorry, but your old lady would turn us both into chum.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Hmmm, good point.

Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Wheelin' out two bodies.
Alex 'Tig' Trager: There should be three.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: I'm afraid to ask.
Alex 'Tig' Trager: Don't be. There it is.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Is this us?
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Ya...
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Ah, shit.

"Sons of Anarchy: Burnt and Purged Away (#4.12)" (2011)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Where is everybody?
Alex 'Tig' Trager: Chibs and Hap went home. I haven't seen Bobby or Juice. I think Jax finally tracked down Op. And Miles and Kozik are dead.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Thanks for the update.

Harry 'Opie' Winston: [His gun pointed directly at Clay] Sit. You're gonna die at the gavel.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I get to say anything here?
Harry 'Opie' Winston: My ol' man get to say anything... before you BLEW A HOLE IN HIS CHEST? Sit down!

"Sons of Anarchy: June Wedding (#3.12)" (2010)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: You're telling me that no one around here speaks Spanish?
[looks at Juice]
Juan Carlos 'Juice' Ortiz: I'm a Puerto Rican from Queens! I speak better Yiddish!

"Sons of Anarchy: Out (#4.1)" (2011)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [Made love with Gemma after his release from prison] Damn, that was fast.
Gemma Teller Morrow: Yeah, that's cuz you're used to speed bangin' Juice in dark hallways.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Hey, don't turn what Juice and I had into something cheap and tawdry.
Gemma Teller Morrow: [laughing] I'm sure it was sweet Puerto Rican magic.

"Sons of Anarchy: Dorylus (#4.3)" (2011)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [Enters the shed where the guys are building crates to haul guns] Look at my happy little elves.

"Sons of Anarchy: Fa Guan (#2.9)" (2009)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: [Clay to Happy] "Call up your Nomads, we need bodies... we've been Deputised"

"Sons of Anarchy: Ablation (#5.8)" (2012)
Nero Padilla: Make no mistake. You get in my way with Gemma and I'll kill you.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Don't worry hermano. I don't make mistakes. Not like you.

"Sons of Anarchy: Pilot (#1.1)" (2008)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Two in the back of the head. Quick and painless.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: It ain't easy being king.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Yeah, you just remember that.

"Sons of Anarchy: Fix (#2.3)" (2009)
Filip 'Chibs' Telford: Hey, Clay.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Get to work, shithead.
Juan Carlos 'Juice' Ortiz: [to Chibs] Pretty sure he was talkin' to you.

"Sons of Anarchy: Albification (#2.1)" (2009)
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Nobody threatens Sam Crow... brown, black, or *white*. Now why don't you all pile back into your clown car, and head on back to Nazi-town.

"Sons of Anarchy: Home (#3.4)" (2010)
Gemma Teller Morrow: So, what's that gonna look like? Me, in Canada?
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: We'll get you setup someplace safe, off the grid - getcha good papers
Alex 'Tig' Trager: Maybe you go redhead for a while
Gemma Teller Morrow: Oh, Christ! I'd rather shave my head.

"Sons of Anarchy: The Sleep of Babies (#1.12)" (2008)
Tig: And we blame the angry black man.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: It's the American way.