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: I refuse to be embarrassed by a car that looks like a Trapper Keeper.
: Hey! Hey ladies. Lance
: Hey how about you sit the fuck back down before me and you have a problem. Thug Prisoner
: How about you just, uh... chill out man. Be cool. Lance
: Alright we good? Thug Prisoner
: Yea, we're good.
: [handing Felicia a new t-shirt
] Another one for the collection. Felicia
: Oh, cool. Thanks.
[she stares at nothing leaning on the GTO
[she points down on the car roof. Lance is on the back seat comforting a sobbing Brandy
: It's okay, Brandy. it's okay, baby, don't cry. Ian
: Lance, what are you doing? Lance
: Dude, you should be ashamed of yourself, because I'm just trying to show another human being a little compassion.
: And my dick.
: Hey, Ian, Felicia. This is my boy Ezekiel. Ezekiel
: What up, English?
: There's no service out here. I can't even tell her I'll be late. Lance
: Good. That's perfect. Keep her waiting. You don't want to come off as desperate. Ian
: I'm driving nine hours. How am I not coming off desperate? Lance
: We had shit to do?
[Ezechiel comes out from the barn where the GTO is on repair
: Uh-oh. See that creamy stuff? You blew your head gasket. That's not good. Ian
: Shit. Ezekiel
: Dont' cry. We can fix it. Ian
: Really? Ezekiel
: Yeah, really. We're good at it. Ian
: Yeah? Ezekiel
: Yeah, I didn't mean to undersell it, but it's an impressive thing. Yeah, we'll fix it. Ian
: Wow, that'd be cool. Ezekiel
: Yeah, would be cool, wouldn't it? I might be the coolest guy you ever met. Ian
: Wow. Ezekiel
: Wow. Ian
: Thank you. Ezekiel
: Yeah, you're welcome. That's what you say when people do nice things for you. You know, there's a pretty big shindig shaping up next door if you guys want to hang there while we work on it. Take it easy while we do all this - for you.
[he turns to the barn
: Does he have an attitude? Lance
: No, he's fucking with you.
: Just relax, man. I got a good feeling about this, you know. We're gonna party with the Amish! Felicia
: Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna be one kick-ass quilting bee.
[They see Fall Out Boy downloading amps and instruments
] Peter Wentz
: What's up, man? Ian
: Hey. Felicia
] No effing way!
: Dude, what the fuck? Ian
: I don't want her along. Lance
: Oh, really? You don't want to bring Yoko on your sex trip? Yeah, no shit. She's always cock-blocking you. Ian
: No, she isn't. She doesn't even have a... Lance
: Okay, twat blocking. Professor.
: I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?
: Is there a cock and ball on the front of me again? Lance
: Like a little tree trunk.
: You ever had a peppermint fatty? Lance
: No. Let's have that. See how that shoe fits.
[Brandy pops peppermint in her mouth, begins sucking his penis
: That is curiously strong. I feel like my dick's been bar mitzvahed.
: [pointing to the redneck
] You, Cornfed! You can punch my friend here, but just once. Lance
: Wait what? Come on man! Ian
: Dude, you slept with his girlfriend! Lance
: But... Ian
: AND he drove all this way. Lance
: ...All right.
: Oh dude, don't even bother. Your game is not going to work on that girl. Lance
: What do you know about girls? I've never even seen you with a girl.
: It's like knives!