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: Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge? Gandalf
: It is raining, Master dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard. Bilbo Baggins
: Are there any? Gandalf
: What? Bilbo Baggins
: Other wizards? Gandalf
: There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White. And then there are the two Blue Wizards... You know, I've quite forgotten their names. Bilbo Baggins
: And the fifth? Gandalf
: Well, that would be Radagast the Brown. Bilbo Baggins
: Is he a great wizard, or is he more like you? Gandalf
: Well, I think he is a very great wizard... in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals for others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too. For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world.
: [regarding a piece of lettuce
] Try it. Just a mouthful. Ori
: I don't like green food. Dwalin
: Where's the meat? Ori
: Have they got any chips?
[as the trolls are roasting half a dozen of the dwarves on a spit over a fire
] Bilbo Baggins
: Wait, wait! You are making a terrible mistake! Bert Troll
: Eh? Dori
: You can't reason with them, they're half-wits! Bofur
: Half-wits? What does that make us?
: Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf? Gandalf
: Yes? Dori
: May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile? Gandalf
: Oh, no, thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think.
: Mr. Gandalf? A glass of red wine as requested. It's got a fruity bouquet. Gandalf
: Ah, cheers.
: [Bilbo interrupts as Tom the troll about to eat Bombur
] Uh... no, no, not... not that one, he... he's infected! William Troll
: [taken aback
] You what? Bilbo Baggins
: Yes, he's got worms in his... tubes. Tom Troll
[Tom throws down Bombur in disgust
] Bilbo Baggins
: In-in fact, they all have. They're infested with parasites, it's a terrible business, I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't. Oin
: Parasites? Did he say parasites? Kili
: Yeah, we don't have parasites!
: You have parasites!
[Thorin realizes that Bilbo is trying to buy them time and kicks Kili, and the dwarves realize what Bilbo is doing
: I've got parasites as big as my arm! Kili
: Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites! Nori
: We're riddled! Ori
: Yes, I'm riddled! Dori
: Yes, we are, badly!
: I'm emotionally greedy and the prognosis is not good.
: I'm the only one who's allowed to say that you suck, but so do I. And I think that is kind of cool that we're both sucky people
: Your house is like my head.
: Let's build a kingdom with our suckiness.
: I know you need me, and I need my Duke. I'm better than I was, but I'm not the Statue of Liberty. Do you care if I'm still sort of a sucky girl? Because I don't care. And I don't care how many scars you have, if you let me I will purify them. If you love me, we will make a beautiful kingdom out of our suckiness and misery and wounds. This is my heart.
[hearing a rumbling noise within the Mountain
: Was that an earthquake? Balin
: That, my lad, was a dragon.
[as Bilbo escapes Erebor
: We should have gone with him! Thorin
: To be roasted alive? Dwarves
: [Bilbo comes out
] It's the burglar. Dori
: Free cheers for good old Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins
: Thank you. But I'd appreciate a more pragmatic salute. In other words... EXTINGUISH ME!