Simon Hunt
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Quotes for
Simon Hunt (Character)
from The Hunting Party (2007)

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The Hunting Party (2007)
Benjamin: We are journalists! We can't do this. It is unethical... and insane.
Simon: It would be a pleasure to personally catch him.
Benjamin: By ourselves. By ourselves. We don't even have any weapons.
Simon: If I gave you a gun, would you know how to use it?
Benjamin: No.
Simon: Then what the fuck are you complaining about?
Duck: I told you. The moment you start drinking that Bosnian brandy, the devil's sitting in the corner, just laughing.

Benjamin: [after the waiter's warning] What the fuck was that about?
Simon: A warning.
Benjamin: Yeah? It seemed more like a threat.
Simon: Yeah, beware of the nosy waiter with Serbian pride.
Duck: Well, actually, it was the first time that I thought that maybe Simon wasn't jerking our chain.
Benjamin: Yeah? Why's that?
Duck: Because the guy in there said that he's not in Celibici, which means maybe he actually *is* in Celebici.
Benjamin: Right. Unless he's really *not* in Celibici.
Duck: Well, that's a possibility, too.

Benjamin: [after being shot at by the waiter] We're gonna die. Every single person down here knows exactly what we're doing.
Simon: Keep your panties dry, Benjamin. It had nothing to do with the Fox.
Benjamin: What the hell do you mean? It's just a little local tradition to shoot at every customer?
Duck: [Simon pulls out some money] Wait a minute. Is that my money? You mean the money I left on the table, that's mine? Simon!
Simon: Times are tight. Things happen. Sue me.
Benjamin: Wait, wait, wait. You stole the money that was left for the bill?
Simon: I needed it more.
Benjamin: Okay, you got us shot at for twenty bucks!
Simon: I didn't know he was gonna *shoot* at us.

Duck: You know, when you think about it, the whole thing is fucking ridiculous.
Simon: Why? I could very well be CIA.
Duck: You can't even spell CIA.
Simon: Every fucking CIA guy I know looks exactly like *me*.
Duck: Yeah, only better-looking.
Benjamin: Well, they certainly do not look like me.
Simon: And that is the genius of it! Of course, the CIA would have someone who doesn't *look* CIA! That's exactly what they would do.

CIA Operative: Let me tell you something, Mr. Cunt...
Simon: Hunt.
CIA Operative: Mr. *Hunt*. You're lucky I haven't already arrested your sorry ass and thrown you in a dark fucking hole with no fucking exits.

CIA Operative: If I ever hear from you again, the CIA will be on you like a cheap suit from the Men's Wearhouse. You'll be arrested, jailed, and sodomized by a big, dumb, large-cocked Serbian bastard for the rest of your shitty little lives. And if you don't care about that, if you *like* big Serbian cock and you still plan on reporting any of this, then your friend Boris will find himself eaten by a tiger or a lion or a squirrel of whatever fucking animal we can find in darkest Africa. And you'll have to live with *that*.
Simon: I assume that I can quote you on the squirrel remark.

Simon: Laugh at all their jokes. Whatever you do, don't stare at the midget

Simon: He's expecting NATO troops, not two jerks in a car.
Duck: Have you thought about the bodyguards that he travels with, Simon?
Simon: Yeah, word is he's got twenty armed guards with him at all times.
Duck: Yeah, well I heard it's *fifty*.
Simon: Fifty?
Duck: Fifty.
Simon: Maybe. Actually, some people believe he has none.
Duck: *Stupid* people.

CIA Operative: Let me ask you a question. why would you think the CIA would want to let a war criminal go?
Simon: Let me ask you a question. In five years, why has the CIA, the Hague, the United Nations and NATO not been able to find a guy that we found in just two days, if you actually wanted to find him?

Simon: ...putting your life in danger is actual living - the rest is television.

Roadhouse Waiter: In the war I kill people like you.
Simon: The war is over.

Simon: Look, this is a news event. We are news men. We want off the copter, now. You ever heard of freedom of the press?
UN Soldier: Not in Bosnia sir, no.

CIA Operative: The CIA has a bright side, the CIA has a dark side. And then there's the gray side. We do the things that people don't need to know about. It's a part we deny even exists. It's a part of the CIA that's been working for the last 3 weeks in Bosnia on the Fox.
Simon: And what have you been working on doing? Making him disappear?
CIA Operative: Let me ask you a question. Why do you think the CIA would want to let a war criminal go, huh?
Simon: Let me ask *you* a question. In 5 years, why has the CIA, the Hague, the United Nations, and NATO, not been able to find a guy that we found in just 2 days? If you actually wanted to find him.

The Fox: They are more afraid of me than I am of them. You do not have the balls to kill me. And you do not have the balls to take my money. And you do not have the balls to see what the international community will do, or not do to me. You have nothing.
Simon: That's why we've got to change the rules.

[last lines]
Duck: Simon, you the only man I know who will borrow money to repay a debt that you took to repay a debt.
Simon: And that's why you love me.
Duck: That's why I love ya.