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: Now, Luana, how would you like another piece of cake or some ice cream? Luana Patten
: No, thank you. I'm full up. Edgar Bergen
: Some candy? Charlie McCarthy
: Care for a cigar? Luana Patten
] Edgar Bergen
: How about you, Mortimer? Mortimer Snerd
: Uh... I don't smoke. Edgar Bergen
: I don't mean that.
: [referring to giant footprints
] Oh, gosh! Who made them? Charlie McCarthy
: Well, it wasn't Cinderella.
: Well, Donald may be nuts, but he's got the right idea. Kill the cow. Luana Patten
: Oh, no, Charlie! The cow was their best friend. Charlie McCarthy
: Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Edgar Bergen
: So what? Charlie McCarthy
: So, they need some steak. Mortimer Snerd
: No! If you're gonna kill the cow, I don't wanna hear the rest of the story!
: But why did the giant want to steal the harp? Edgar Bergen
: Because he was cruel and selfish. He didn't care what happened to the valley. He just wanted someone to sing him to sleep. Mortimer Snerd
: Well, why didn't he turn on the radio? Edgar Bergen
: Well, they didn't have radios in those days. Charlie McCarthy
: Yeah. That's why they called it Happy Valley.
[Willie is sniffing around his table while Mickey and the others are trying to avoid getting caught
] Charlie McCarthy
: Hey, giant! You're getting warm! Mortimer Snerd
: Well, don't tell him! Charlie McCarthy
: Behind the jar, stupid! Luana Patten
: What happened to all the people? Edgar Bergen
: Well, suppose we look in on these humble peasants. Mortimer Snerd
: Is that a peasant? Charlie McCarthy
: That's a cow, stupid. Luana Patten
: Well, at least they had milk. Edgar Bergen
: Well, she used to be a good milker, but now... Charlie McCarthy
: She's an udder failure.
: Are you listening, Mortimer? Mortimer Snerd
: Uh... Happy Valley? Edgar Bergen
: That's right, yes. Now, just try to imagine it. Can't you just close your eyes and see it? Mortimer Snerd
: Well, I can't see very good with my eyes closed. My eyelids get in the way. Edgar Bergen
: Well, you create a picture in your mind's eye. Mortimer Snerd
: Oh. Charlie McCarthy
: That's not easy for him. His mind gets in the way.
Willie the Giant
: [lifts the roof off of Edgar Bergen's house
] Hey, has anybody seen anything of a teensy-weensy, little mouse? Edgar Bergen
: No, I-I-I...
] Luana Patten
: Oh, Mr. Bergen! Charlie McCarthy
: Bergen, speak to me! Speak to me! Willie the Giant
: What's the matter with him? Something he ate? Mortimer Snerd
: No, it's uh, it's a fig... fig... figmentation of his imagination. Willie the Giant
: No! Mortimer Snerd
: Yeah. Well, good night, Willie. Don't slam the roof. You might wake Mr. Bergen.
: What did the giant look like? Edgar Bergen
: Well, he was, oh... I'll try and show you.
[He turns on a lamp and aims it at the wall
] Edgar Bergen
: He looked something like this.
[Makes a shadow puppet of a pig
] Mortimer Snerd
: Looks like my pig, Snedly. Charlie McCarthy
: Never mind the self-portraits. Edgar Bergen
: Well, no, that isn't right. He looked more like... More like this.
[Makes shadow puppet of Willie the Giant
] Edgar Bergen
: There he is now. And the giant came home for dinner, roaring... Charlie McCarthy
: [Steps in front of spotlight
] ... drunk. Edgar Bergen
: [as Willie
] I was not! Edgar Bergen
] I mean, he was not. Edgar Bergen
: [as Willie
] No. Edgar Bergen
: Down the castle hall he came, roaring..."Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!"
: [Mortimer is crying because Willie got killed
] What I'm trying to explain, Mortimer, is that Willie the Giant didn't actually exist. Mortimer Snerd
: No? Edgar Bergen
: No. He's a metaphysical phenomenon of your subconscious mind, a phantasmagoria of your mental faculties. Mortimer Snerd
: Yeah? Edgar Bergen
: In other words, just a figment of your imagination. Mortimer Snerd
: No! Edgar Bergen
: Yes. So there's nothing to be upset about.
: How'd you get here? Singing Harp
: I was kidnapped by that wicked giant! Mickey Mouse
: Oh. What? A giant? Mortimer Snerd
: A giant? Luana Patten
: A giant? Jiminy Cricket
: A giant? Edgar Bergen
: Bigger than forty men! Mortimer Snerd
: Oh, no! Edgar Bergen
: An ogre who had the power to turn himself into anything, man or beast! Jiminy Cricket
: That calls for a drink!
: Yes, it was one of nature's garden spots, nestled among the green, rolling hills. Can't you see the lovely brook as it flows through the valley? Mortimer Snerd
: Mmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Edgar Bergen
: The winding roads, line with stately trees. Mortimer Snerd
: Trees. Yeah. Edgar Bergen
: Lush fields and prosperous farms dot the landscape. Mortimer Snerd
: L-Landscape. Yeah. Edgar Bergen
: And high on a hilltop overlooking the valley, shining like a jewel, stands... Mortimer Snerd
: My red barn. Edgar Bergen
: No, no. It was something much nicer. It was a majestic castle.
: Well, good night, Luana. Luana Patten
: Good night, Ophelia. Ophelia
: Bonne nuit, Mortimer. Mortimer Snerd
: Uh... ma'am? Ophelia
: Bonne nuit. Mortimer Snerd
: Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah, yeah. Bunny. Uh bunny, bunny wee, bunny wee. Bun-Uh... uh, I don't know no bunny wee.
: What's the matter, Mortimer, car sick? Mortimer Snerd
: No, I'm sick.
: Mortimer, you musn't be afraid of people. Goodness, I'm only a girl. Mortimer Snerd
: That's the worst kind.