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Quotes for
Flying Officer Carstairs (Character)
from "'Allo 'Allo!" (1982)

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"'Allo 'Allo!: The Gateau from the Chateau (#2.7)" (1985)
[the airmen's call to England has been cut off]
Flying Officer Carstairs: You never asked who won the Boat Race!
Flying Officer Fairfax: Damm! I knew we called about something!

"'Allo 'Allo!: The Flying Nun (#4.4)" (1987)
René: [with French accent] The Germans will invade soon and the British will surrender.
Flying Officer Carstairs: [together with British accents] Jolly good show.
Flying Officer Fairfax: [with British accents] Bang on.
Flying Officer Fairfax: They have no idea what I'm talking about.

"'Allo 'Allo!: The Execution (#1.4)" (1984)
[Fairfax and Carstairs are lying in Madame Fanny's bed]
Flying Officer Fairfax: If the Jerries find us dressed in civvies, it would take a lot of explaining.
Flying Officer Carstairs: If they found us in bed with each other, it would take even more explaining.
Flying Officer Fairfax: Carstairs, are you a grammar-school boy?
Flying Officer Carstairs: [shocked] How do you know?
Flying Officer Fairfax: You're wearing your socks in bed.

"'Allo 'Allo!: No Hiding Place (#5.7)" (1988)
Flying Officer Fairfax: [speaking to Edith] Goee walkee, findee jerry, givee upee.
Flying Officer Carstairs: She's not Chinese, you know.

"'Allo 'Allo!: Six Big Boobies (#2.1)" (1985)
[the airmen are unhappy about being dressed as nuns]
Flying Officer Carstairs: Fella keeps trying to chat us up.
Michelle Dubois: [English accent] Didn't they suspect the moustache?
Flying Officer Carstairs: If you think mine's big, you should see the Mother Superior's.