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: Hey, come on in, Dave. Dave
: Nah, I read where this Italian coach said its no good to go swimmin' right after a race. Mike
: Who's swimmin'? I'm takin' a leak.
: Moocher, you're Catholic, right? Moocher
: Yeah. Dave
: Did you ever go to confession? Moocher
: Twice. Dave
: Did it make you feel better? Moocher
[as they go for a marriage license:
: I wonder if I have to have a job to qualify. Nancy
: I don't think so. I think it's mostly blood and relatives that they're interested in. Moocher
: Blood and relatives... well, that's great. I got both of them.
: If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damned small? Moocher
: Oh... It's my metabolism. I eat 3 times a day and my metabolism eats 5 times a day.
: You mean we might be a father? Dad
: No. I might be a father. And your mom might be a mother. And YOU might be a brother. See, that way I keep it all in the family. Moocher
: Wow! Hey, I didn't think people your age... Dad
: The next word may be your last, kid!
: [looking at Dave's beat up bike
] Doesn't look that bad to me... Dave
: That's cause you don't have to ride it! Moocher
: Well, you know, you don't have to ride it either, Dave. We're not gonna beg you. Cyril
: We may plead, but we would never beg!
: You know what? Moocher
: No, what? Nancy
: I'm leaving home, that's what. Moocher
: What? Where are you going? Nancy
: About 5 blocks south. Moocher
] Yeah? Nancy
: I found this little place, it's so cute I could scream.
: [watching the college kids on campus
] Sure looks like they've got it made. Mike
: That's because they're rich. Dave
: Italians are poor, but they're happy. Mike
: Yeah? Maybe in Italy.
: You hear from your folks, Mooch? Moocher
: Yeah, my dad called. He wanted to know if the house was sold. He could use the money something fierce. Dave
: Well, you can come and live with me when it's sold. In Italy, everybody lives together. Moocher
] Since you won that Italian bike, man, you've been acting weird. You're really getting to think you're Italian, aren't you? Cyril
: I wouldn't mind thinking I was somebody myself.
: Mike, the time comes when we just all have to go our own ways, you know. Mike
: Oh, you're a real adult, aren't ya. B-town boy grows up.
Owner of Car Wash
: [in a cranky tone of voice
] You're a little late - but I guess you won't let *that* happen again. Moocher
] Sorry. Owner of Car Wash
: Here's your sponge and here's your rag and there's your place... Owner of Car Wash
] ... and don't forget to punch the clock, "Shorty." Moocher
: [Moocher goes over and punches and breaks the time clock with his fist, then walks off the job