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[after Dewey accidentally barges in a room filled with smoke and groupies
] Get outta here, Dewey! Dewey Cox
: What are y'all doin' in here? Sam
: We're smoking reefer and you don't want no part of this shit. Dewey Cox
: You're smoking *reefers*? Sam
: Yeah, 'course we are; can't you smell it? Dewey Cox
: [Dewey doesn't have a sense of smell
] No, Sam. I can't. Reefer Girl
: Come on, Dewey! Join the party!
[takes a hit off a joint
: No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get outta here! Dewey Cox
: You know what, I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover. Sam
: It doesn't give you a hangover! Dewey Cox
: Wha-I get addicted to it or something? Sam
: It's not habit-forming! Dewey Cox
: Oh, okay... well, I don't know... I don't want to overdose on it. Sam
: You can't OD on it! Dewey Cox
: It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it? Sam
: It makes sex even better! Dewey Cox
: Sounds kind of expensive. Sam
: It's the cheapest drug there is. Dewey Cox
: [at a loss and out of excuses
] Hmm. Sam
: You don't want it! Dewey Cox
: I think I kinda want it. Sam
: Okay, but just this once. Come on in.
: And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!
] I don't need people around me, stifling me. So if you don't like it, there's the door. Theo
: Dewey, are you sayin' you don't need us no more? Dewey Cox
: Not unless you can open your minds... and learn to play the fucking theremin.
: FUCK YOU, DEWEY! Dave
: Yeah, fuck you Dewey! In twenty years, not once have you thrown a woman my way. You don't think we like cheating on our wives too? Sam
: And you never once paid for drugs. Not once! Dave
: You pay that chimp more than you pay us! I had to borrow from the chimp to get a mortgage on my house! Theo
: And those stupid siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas! I don't want anymore siamese glass cats! Dewey Cox
: The siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in Ancient Egypt. Sam
: Fuck nobility! Dave
: Fuck Ancient Egypt! Theo
: ...Fuck cats! Sam
: And you never paid for drugs. Not once. Dave
] You slept with my wife! Theo
: You slept with me, too! And I've had confused feelings about that for ten years now! Sam
: And you never *once* paid for drugs!... Not once.
[Dewey walks in on Sam and groupies
: Get out of here, Dewey. You don't want no part of this shit. Dewey Cox
: Whatch y'all doin' in here? Sam
: We doin' pills. Uppers and downers. It's the logical next step for you. Dewey Cox
: I want some of that shit!
[Dewey walks into a room with Sam and three women
: Sam? What you all doing in here? Sam
: [holding a pill
] Dewey, get out of here. You don't want no part of this shit. Dewey Cox
: What is it? Sam
: It's medication for erectile dysfunction, it gives you a boner! Not to be used if you have a pre-existing heart condition. If boners last more than four hours, call more ladies.
] Dewey Cox
: Well, that does sound tempting, but you know what, Sam? I really don't want no part of that shit. Sam
: Did you hear what I said? It gives you a boner!
[on Charlie Manson
: His music his horrible... but he's a really nice guy. Theo
: Oh, couldn't be nicer.
[Dewey goes into a bathroom where Sam is with groupies
: Get out of here, Dewey! Dewey Cox
: What are y'all doing in here? Sam
: It's called cocaine, and you don't want no part of this shit! Dewey Cox
[Sam nods and smiles
] Dewey Cox
: What's it do? Sam
: It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare!
: You're gonna have to give him a moment, son. Dewey Cox has to think about his entire life before he plays.