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Quotes for
Sam (Character)
from Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)

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Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)
[after Dewey accidentally barges in a room filled with smoke and groupies]
Sam: [coughs] Get outta here, Dewey!
Dewey Cox: What are y'all doin' in here?
Sam: We're smoking reefer and you don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey Cox: You're smoking *reefers*?
Sam: Yeah, 'course we are; can't you smell it?
Dewey Cox: [Dewey doesn't have a sense of smell] No, Sam. I can't.
Reefer Girl: Come on, Dewey! Join the party!
[takes a hit off a joint]
Sam: No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get outta here!
Dewey Cox: You know what, I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover.
Sam: It doesn't give you a hangover!
Dewey Cox: Wha-I get addicted to it or something?
Sam: It's not habit-forming!
Dewey Cox: Oh, okay... well, I don't know... I don't want to overdose on it.
Sam: You can't OD on it!
Dewey Cox: It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?
Sam: It makes sex even better!
Dewey Cox: Sounds kind of expensive.
Sam: It's the cheapest drug there is.
Dewey Cox: [at a loss and out of excuses] Hmm.
Sam: You don't want it!
Dewey Cox: I think I kinda want it.
Sam: Okay, but just this once. Come on in.

[repeated line]
Sam: And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!

Dewey Cox: [irritated] I don't need people around me, stifling me. So if you don't like it, there's the door.
Theo: Dewey, are you sayin' you don't need us no more?
Dewey Cox: Not unless you can open your minds... and learn to play the fucking theremin.
[brief pause]
Theo: FUCK YOU, DEWEY!
Dave: Yeah, fuck you Dewey! In twenty years, not once have you thrown a woman my way. You don't think we like cheating on our wives too?
Sam: And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!
Dave: You pay that chimp more than you pay us! I had to borrow from the chimp to get a mortgage on my house!
Theo: And those stupid siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas! I don't want anymore siamese glass cats!
Dewey Cox: The siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in Ancient Egypt.
Sam: Fuck nobility!
Dave: Fuck Ancient Egypt!
Theo: ...Fuck cats!
Sam: And you never paid for drugs. Not once.
Dave: [angrily] You slept with my wife!
Theo: You slept with me, too! And I've had confused feelings about that for ten years now!
Sam: And you never *once* paid for drugs!... Not once.

[Dewey walks in on Sam and groupies]
Sam: Get out of here, Dewey. You don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey Cox: Whatch y'all doin' in here?
Sam: We doin' pills. Uppers and downers. It's the logical next step for you.
Dewey Cox: I want some of that shit!

[Dewey walks into a room with Sam and three women]
Sam: Sam? What you all doing in here?
Sam: [holding a pill] Dewey, get out of here. You don't want no part of this shit.
Dewey Cox: What is it?
Sam: It's medication for erectile dysfunction, it gives you a boner! Not to be used if you have a pre-existing heart condition. If boners last more than four hours, call more ladies.
[laughs]
Dewey Cox: Well, that does sound tempting, but you know what, Sam? I really don't want no part of that shit.
Sam: Did you hear what I said? It gives you a boner!

[on Charlie Manson]
Sam: His music his horrible... but he's a really nice guy.
Theo: Oh, couldn't be nicer.

[Dewey goes into a bathroom where Sam is with groupies]
Sam: Get out of here, Dewey!
Dewey Cox: What are y'all doing in here?
Sam: It's called cocaine, and you don't want no part of this shit!
Dewey Cox: Cocaine?
[Sam nods and smiles]
Dewey Cox: What's it do?
Sam: It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare!

Sam: You're gonna have to give him a moment, son. Dewey Cox has to think about his entire life before he plays.