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: You and your third dimension. Frylock
: What about it? Ignignokt
: Oh, nothing, it's cute. We have five.
: Thousand. Ignignokt
: Yes, five thousand. Err
: Don't question it. Frylock
: Oh, yeah? Well, I only see two. Ignignokt
: Well, that sounds like a personal problem.
: Hello, Carl, I am Ignignokt and this is Err. Err
: I am Err. Ignignokt
: We are Mooninites from the inner core of the moon. Err
: You said it right. Ignignokt
: Our race is hundreds of years beyond yours. Err
: Man, you hear what he's saying? Ignignokt
: Some would say that the Earth is our moon. Err
: We're the moon. Ignignokt
: But that would belittle the name of our moon, which is: The Moon. Err
: Point is: we're at the center, not you. Carl
: No, the real point is: I don't give a damn.
: Where's my whiskey? I'm 'bout to get tore up! Ignignokt
: We shall acquire some wine on the way to the mall. Err
: And then you can get tore up. Ignignokt
: And pass out in the hot sun. Meatwad
: Them's my boys!
: Your roommate is a nerd. Err
: Yes, on the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks.
: Pick up that stereo and sink it deep within your body. Meatwad
: But then that would be stealing. Err
: Not if you need it, and you need it.
: What happened to Meatwad? Err
: He got busted man. Ignignokt
: For drinking and stealing and smoking in a non-smoking area.
: We smoke while we flip the bird.
: [emerges from Carl's pool and gasps for breath
] Twenty seconds! It's a new world record! Ignignokt
: [emerges from Carl's pool
] Twenty-three seconds. Err
: That is the new moon record! Ignignokt
: Then it shall be so. Err
: Now and forever.
: Someone hook me up with a flame, I'm having a nic fit! Ignignokt
: Err, light him up. Frylock
: Meatwad! Err
: Here. Ignignokt
: Encourage him in his habit. Err
: That's a good smoker!
: [after having stolen Carl's pornography collection and dresser
] This pornography is infinitely excellent. This dresser, however, is not. Burn it, Meatwad. Err
: Yeah, burn it! Meatwad
: But that's where Carl keeps his clothes! Ignignokt
: These women don't have any clothes on, and they seem happy. Err
: Yeah, they're kissin' each other! Ignignokt
: And you want Carl to be forever kissed, don't you?
: You have deeply offended us and our god. And our god is a god of vengeance, and horror. Err
: And action! Ignignokt
: Our god is an Indian that turns into a wolf. Err
: Yeah, that's the Wolfen, man. Ignignokt
: Well... the Wolfen will come for you, with his razor.
[looking at porn
: Oh man, you gotta check this out. Meatwad
: Oh yeah baby, that's a neat car she's washing. You think that's a straight 6? Err
: I think I have a straight 6. Ignignokt
: Ooooo. Err, your sexual innuendo is priceless.
: Hey you guys, did you say that it would be easy to get whatever I want, like a ten speed, because that's what I really want. Ignignokt
: Getting it is easy. Filling it with illegal substances and sending it across the border is not. Err
: Yeah, see, those dogs, they can smell ANYTHING. So you gotta kick 'em in the throat. Meatwad
: Well hey now, guys, look. I do not want to do anything illegal here... but I would kill somebody... in front of their own mama... to get a ten speed. And if any witnesses testify against me, I'll gouge their eyes out.
: Come on, Meatman. Let's go break the law to fulfill your primitive needs. Meatwad
: Well, I don't think so. Last time you were here you threw me at an old lady's mailbox and you made me moon Boy Scout Troop No. 324. Err
: Ha ha, ha ha! We did! Ignignokt
: Well... this time we won't. Meatwad
: Okay, cool. Let me just get my keys.
: Ya all have any eggs? Shake
: I don't know guys. Lemme check. Err
: 'Cause I'm totally gonna mess someone's house up! Ignignokt
: Yes, eggs or pot... either one. Meatwad
: Hey, ah, Frylock, do we have any pot? Frylock
: No, we don't! Marijuana is illegal. Err
: What about nitrous, man? Ignignokt
: Shut up, Err.
: [the Mooninites have broken into Carl's house
] We are here for your pornography. Err
: So hand over those magazines! Carl
: Oh, I got some magazines for ya all right. They're filled with hollow points!
: It's all free!
: It WAS free!
: So won't you please help us save our craps? Ignignokt
: Err, please stop fueling my silent rage.
: First we must train you. You can't go into battle like that. Err
: He's right! Ignignokt
: You would instantly turn to vapor. Err
: Oh what you need is our free warrior kit! Ignignokt
: Oh most definitely. Err
: We're selling it, and you're buying it. Ignignokt
: It's got the helmet, energy bars, electric shoes, Gorgotron repellent, Moon Master stickers, and now for the first time... instructional video. Err
: And it's all free! Meatwad
: M'kay how do i get that? Ignignokt
: You pay far out the ass for it! Err
: It's just three easy installments of $29.99! Ignignokt
: Unless you want our race to die, which it seems like you do. Meatwad
: Oh no, no. I don't want that... But I thought you said it was free? Ignignokt
: It was free. A true warrior would have jumped on it like a beast... before it went straight up to $99.99! Meatwad
: Well damn, I guess I do need training Err
: What you need, is recognition! Ignignokt
: For a one time charge, get your name placed in this handsome leather-bound volume of Who's Who Among Moonmasters. Err
: You're the only one, and you're on page one! Meatwad
: Hey you know what, this a pretty good deal. Err
: Yes it is, Cathy.
: Thank you, Err. What was that thick shake? Err
: Well, now I'll tell you what it is. It's mayonnaise I found in the trash can! Ignignokt
: [throws up
: And it had hair in it! And you drank it! 'Cause I'm your doctor! Do what I say!
: Err, if you want to achieve in this life, you must set your goals higher. Err
: I'm already pretty high. Ignignokt
: And so am I.
: Why are we trying to cash a bill, Err? Err
: Hell, I don't know! On the way down here, I kept saying, "this is a bill." I just figured you know something I didn't. Ignignokt
: I did know something I didn't! But it wasn't that!
: Cash our check and you will get immortal. Err
: Never ending life. Carl
: Nah, sometimes I kinda wanna die.
: Mooninites duplicate, reunite, and annihilate. Err
: Lock in!
[Mooninites create huge laser gun
: Was this in your plan? Err
: I don't think it was! Ignignokt
: Square the Quad-Laser and you have, behold: The Quad-Glaser. Err
: I thought it was Glacier, man! Ignignokt
: Yes, the Quad-Glacier... that's what I said. Err
: Would you just hurry up and fire it, it's getting heavy! Ignignokt
: You with all the great plans: you shall not see the next decade. You shall never know that turtlenecks will come back... in a big way. Err
] Would you hurry up, I can't hold it up much longer, my legs are gonna... ow! Damn! Ignignokt
[a huge laser block is fired
: Why they call it the Glacier? Ignignokt
: Do you want it done fast, Err, or do you want it done right? Err
: I just want it done! Damn! My legs!
: [Err and Ignignokt walk into view
] "A" is for apple, "J" is for jacks. Ignignokt
: [noticing the OoGhiJ MiQtxxXA
] Look Err, free egg. Err
: [jumps atop the computer
] Damn, yeah! For straight, for shizum! Ignignokt
: [looks to the screen
] Try having omelettes now, Denver! Err
: Omeletoids! Ignignokt
: Did you hear what I said, Denver?
[raising both middle fingers to the screen
: Or shall I turn it up for you?
: And now, we burgle.
[he and Err jump through the ATHF's front window
: Can you grab the other end of -
[notices Frylock floating by the door, glaring at them
: ... Oh. Hey, man. Frylock
] Uh, you're going to have to pay for that. Ignignokt
: It's cool! Err
: Yeah, it's cool! Frylock
] No. It isn't. Ignignokt
: Oh, it's not? Err
: Well, we thought it was. Frylock
] No. You're going to pay for that window, or I'm callin' the cops. Ignignokt
: Easy, brother. Don't harsh my buzz. Frylock
: [dialing 9-1-1 as Err whispers 'no maaan, don't do thaaat'
] Operator, can I get the police, please? Ignignokt
: We'll leave you be, fair brother.
[They hop back out via the now-broken window. Frylock hangs up
] 'Kay, hand me that hose.
[a green hose appears spewing moonajuana fumes. Giggles from Err and Ignignokt
: Okay, start pushin' it. Frylock
: [unceremoniously puts a kink in the hose
: [coughing, muttering
] Gettin' some backdraft or somethin', man. Ignignokt
] The Red One SUCKS.
[Spacecataz, continuing from the previous episode, where Ignignokt flipped off Oglethorpe
: Oh man, that was so... Oh man, he's backin' up! Fuckin' fly, he's backin up! Come on! Ignignokt
: No. We'll double his pleasure. Err
: [as he and Ignignokt flip both fingers for the both of them
] Take two, mother muchachos! Ignignokt
: And call us in the morning. Err
: Yeah call us! We'll be drunk!
: On the moon, the weekend has advanced beyond your wildest dreams. Weekends now take up the entire week, and jobs have been phased out accordingly. Err
: We get checks from the government. And we use them to buy beer.
: We have received a distress call from the U.S Jon Ron Donald. Emory
: Wait, that's not the... Ignignokt
] Yes. It is. Wait, what were you going to say? Emory
: The ship that... that's self-aware? Oglethorpe
: Oh, no! The haunted ship! Err
: It is! Oglethorpe
: No way man! No! Ignignokt
: Yes... In a big way