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Quotes for
Barney Hiller (Character)
from "The Six Million Dollar Man" (1974)

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"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Seven Million Dollar Man (#2.5)" (1974)
Barney Miller: Did you really think that when the great Oscar Goldman pushed one of his little buttons and ordered up you, his brand new bionic gadget, did you really think he ordered only one of a kind?
[pause]
Barney Miller: Wrong.

Barney Miller: Everytime it gets cold out, this arm starts creaking. Had it back at Doc Wells three times now.

Col. Steve Austin: Relax, Barney. Like I said, you'll do fine.
Barney Miller: Fine? Yeah, were both just fine. A couple of carefully engineered deadly weapons by Mr. Oscar Goldman out of Dr. Rudy Wells.

Barney Miller: What did you cost?
Col. Steve Austin: Six million.
Barney Miller: Six?
[taps chest]
Barney Miller: Seven.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, old inflation gets us all.

Barney Miller: [laughs] Listen to the man, Rudy. Astronaut, world famous, authentic physical miracle. Probably still buys his wrist watches at the Air Force PX. Listen Stevie boy, when you got it, you don't flaunt it, man, you use it!

Col. Steve Austin: Barney, the adrenaline's flowing, you're feeling good. Don't get carried away.
Barney Miller: [raised voice] Away! That rhymes with pay and that stands for... Oscar.

Dr. Rudy Wells: [shouting] This is lunacy!
Barney Miller: [turns round in door opening] You put me together, Rudy. The nuts, the bolts, the wires. Tell me, can the machine be more lunatic than those who created it?

Barney Miller: You know what's really driving me nuts?
Col. Steve Austin: What?
[knocks Steve down]
Barney Miller: You're what's driving me nuts, Stevie boy. Because you made it, and I can't.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Bionic Criminal (#3.9)" (1975)
Barney Hiller: Hey, come on, now Steve, don't rush me. I've only got 48 hours to play superman again, I wanna enjoy every minute.

Barney Hiller: Look, Mr. Burstyn, if everything else in my life goes down the tubes... you'd still be wasting your time.
Lester Burstyn: My dear friend...
Barney Hiller: I'm not your dear friend. You're lucky I didn't report you to Oscar Goldman the first time you called me.
Lester Burstyn: Yes, I suppose I am. The fact is you didn't tell Goldman. And another fact is: at this moment you're bionically activated and will be for 48 hours...

Barney Hiller: Look Burstyn, what am I going to have to do to get you to release Carla?
Lester Burstyn: I'll think of something, Barney.

Barney Hiller: I thought you'd never show up.
Col. Steve Austin: Well, after what you did to my neck, I wasn't sure I would.