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Quotes for
Ambrose Monk (Character)
from "Monk" (2002)

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"Monk: Mr. Monk and the Three Pies (#2.11)" (2004)
[Discussing their estranged father]
Ambrose Monk: Why aren't you out there looking for him?
Adrian Monk: Because I'm afraid I might find him.

Adrian Monk: This is my assistant, Sharona.
Ambrose Monk: Hello, we spoke on the phone.
Adrian Monk: Oh, so you can dial a telephone! I was worried. I thought you might be paralyzed, or something.
Ambrose Monk: I wasn't paralyzed.
Adrian Monk: I was being sarcastic.
Ambrose Monk: You were being sardonic. Sarcasm is a contemptuous ironic statement. You were being mockingly derisive. That's sardonic.

Sharona Fleming: Ambrose, come with us.
Ambrose Monk: Oh, no, I can't.
Sharona Fleming: You're just gonna hide inside this house for the rest of your life?
Ambrose Monk: That's my plan, yes.

Sharona Fleming: Ambrose, you know what? Adrian's scared, too. All the time. But he doesn't let it stop him. Okay, now you tell me: what does he have that you don't have?
Ambrose Monk: He has you.

Adrian Monk: So, Ambrose, what am I...? Why am I here?
Ambrose Monk: Believe it or not, I need your help. It's about my next door neighbor. His name is Pat van Ranken.
Sharona Fleming: What about him?
Ambrose Monk: I'm eighty-five to ninety percent sure that he killed his wife.

Adrian Monk: He was at the park all last night.
Sharona Fleming: Maybe to bury something.
Ambrose Monk: Yes, he was parked by the southern entrance.
Sharona Fleming: How do you know that?
Ambrose Monk: It's obvious. Why don't you tell her, Adrian?
Adrian Monk: Um...
Ambrose Monk: The yellow acorns on his truck, which can only mean he was parked under a spotted oak tree...
Sharona Fleming: Wow.
Ambrose Monk: Which are found...
Adrian Monk: Um...
Ambrose Monk: Near water...
Sharona Fleming: Wow.
Ambrose Monk: Which means, he parked by the river, at the southern entrance.
Sharona Fleming: Wow!
Adrian Monk: Please stop staying "wow."
Ambrose Monk: This detective stuff is easy.
Sharona Fleming: Looks like you got a new partner.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, for any crime committed within thirty feet of this property.

Sharona Fleming: How did you remember that?
Ambrose Monk: It's a gift, and a curse.

Ambrose Monk: [about Adrian] You should have seen him. Going into stores and buying things all by himself when he was 15. Driving a car when he was 23. Going out on dates - going out on dates with women, at twenty-six years of age!
Sharona Fleming: He's a regular Evel Knievel.

Sharona Fleming: Ambrose... come with us!
Ambrose Monk: Me? No, no, no.
Sharona Fleming: You just gonna hide in this house for the rest of your life?
Ambrose Monk: That's my plan... yes.

[Ambrose leads Adrian and Sharona into another room of the house]
Sharona Fleming: What's this?
Adrian Monk: Every newspaper printed since 1968.
[Sharona groans]
Ambrose Monk: I am as God made me.


"Monk: Mr. Monk Goes Home Again (#4.2)" (2005)
Capt. Stottlemeyer: All right, you think there's a connection. I'm here, convince me: why would a killer, a killer every cop in the city is looking for, hang around your neighborhood to steal candy from children?
[long pause, while Adrian whispers in Ambrose's ear, Ambrose whispers back, and so forth]
Ambrose Monk: We don't know.