Evan 'Scribe' Wright
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Quotes for
Evan 'Scribe' Wright (Character)
from "Generation Kill" (2008)

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"Generation Kill: Get Some (#1.1)" (2008)
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: AAA batteries, dip, Skoal, Copenhagen, baby wipes, flavored pringles in a can and adult diapers. As requested. Why do you need me to get all of this stuff?
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: In the infinite wisdom to whoever runs the military post exchange store, they won't sell this stuff in quantity to military personnel. But, for civilians like yourself, the sky is the limit.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: And why is that?
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: To Keep us angry. If Marines could get what they needed when they needed it we would be happy and wouldn't ready to kill people all of the time. The Marine Corps is like America's Pitbull. They beat us, mistreat us and every once in awhile, they let us out to attack someone.

Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Why are we going to a PX at an Army Camp?
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Marines don't need a PX. We are about to loot and pillage a country.

Cpl. Evan 'Q-Tip' Stafford: Yo reporter, what are you wearing man
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Boxers. Why?
Cpl. Evan 'Q-Tip' Stafford: It's going to be hot maggot. Me? I'm free-ballin all the way to Baghdad.

Cpl. Ray Person: Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come counties like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Ray, how much ripped fuel have you ingested.
Cpl. Ray Person: I'm on it like a mother fucker Brad, haha!...
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Well, no more of that shit...
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: An interesting theory though.
Cpl. Ray Person: Yeah, yeah, you should quote me on it, you know what, you should definitely quote me on it, this whole thing comes down to pussy! Look, if you take the Republican Guard and comp their asses for a week in Vegas, no fucking war!
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: So the war is not about oil or WMDs.
Cpl. Ray Person: No, in the opinion of this Marine, its about pussy.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: And its not about Saddam.
Cpl. Ray Person: No, Saddam is just part of the problem, if Saddam invested more in the pussy infrastructure of Iraq than he did in his fucking gay ass army, then this country would be no more fucked up than say, Mexico.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Ray, please shut up... thank you.

"Generation Kill: Stay Frosty (#1.6)" (2008)
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: [Colbert is running around a field with his arms outstretched like an airplane] What did you like give him some Rolling Stone drugs or something?
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: I don't know.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: What the fuck did you do to him?
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Just asked him what he would be if he wasn't a Marine.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Oh my god, he wants to be a ballerina? That's my fucking dream!

Cpl. James Chaffin: [voiceover during end credits] I don't give a fuck what you write. It's gonna come out all liberal media bullshit spin on it anyway.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Seriously, what am I supposed to do with all this bullshit you guys constantly talk?
Cpl. James Chaffin: Oh, you think I'm some sorta racist psycho redneck?
Sgt. Antonio Espera: What, you ain't?
Cpl. James Chaffin: Oh, and you ain't some fuckin' militant taco-bender revolutionary?
Sgt. Antonio Espera: See, reporter? No outsider can understand how we really are.
Cpl. James Chaffin: We're all fuckin' brothers.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: And we're all fuckin' alpha males too.
Cpl. James Chaffin: We gotta constantly test each other.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: All we do is fight for position in the pack, dawg. All that training we do? The martial arts, the grappling? It's for practice. But it's also for real, to achieve dominance over a motherfucker. We do the same thing mentally. It's prison rules, dawg. We probe for any fuckin' weakness we can find. Family, race, brains, looks. Anything you have on a motherfucker, you wear it the fuck out.
Cpl. James Chaffin: Bein' a Marine isn't about words, anyway. It's about your fuckin' actions.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: Back home in the civilian world, a fool slaps a "protect the planet" sticker on his car, suddenly he's all about the environment and shit. Don't matter that he still drives that fuckin' car, fires up his computer and video games and cell phone every night with electricity made from nuclear power, coal, and fuckin' melted baby seal oil. Nuh-uh-uh, I got a dolphin sticker on my shit, so I'm all about savin' the fuckin' planet.
[Chaffin chuckles]
Sgt. Antonio Espera: In our fuckin' Marine Corps civilization, it don't matter what a motherfucker says. Only thing that matters is, dawg, would you charge that motherfuckin' machine gun when the motherfucker tells you to charge the motherfuckin' machine gun.
Cpl. James Chaffin: Shit, everybody in this platoon's a hard charger. Marines bitch about everything, man: chow, fuckin' moron officers, no time for a combat jack. But you will NEVER hear a Marine in this platoon bitch that we could die at any second.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: Hell, no.
Cpl. James Chaffin: THAT'S what we signed up for.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: Oorah that, motherfucker.
Cpl. James Chaffin: Fuckin' care if some latte-sippin' bisexual college student readin' about Justin Timberlake in "Rolling Stones" think I'm a psycho racist cracker? Fuck, no. I'd give my life for any brother in here. I know any one of them'd do the same for me. You think it matters if I call fuckin' T a nigger? Shit. Fuckin' love that big dark green Marine and his big ol' beautiful nigger dick.
[he chuckles]
Cpl. James Chaffin: Love all my dirty spic brothers here.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: And I love this fuckin' cracker-ass inbred racist peckerwood fuck. I don't know why I do, dawg, but I do.
Cpl. James Chaffin: 'Cause I'm pretty and I shave my balls. Wanna touch 'em, reporter?
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: No. Thanks.
Cpl. James Chaffin: Look, man, I joined the Marine Corps ten days after I graduated high school. I went to school with all these rich kids at St. Tammany's Parish, but I was an apartment kid. My mom worked. I worked summers diggin' footings on the weekends. I was a dishwasher at D'Angelo's Pizzeria. I busted my ass, became a Recon Marine since I was nineteen. My shit is tight as fuck. I know that, my brothers in this platoon know that. So fuck all of you.
[Wright spits out his tobacco juice]
Sgt. Antonio Espera: Damn, war scribe, you just spit on my fuckin' rack, dawg.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Where?
Sgt. Antonio Espera: There! You see that pile of dried camel dung? That's my fuckin' pillow, dawg! You fuckin' spit on it, fool! You a heinous-ass white boy.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Sorry.

"Generation Kill: The Cradle of Civilization (#1.2)" (2008)
Doc Bryan: Where did we get that so-called translator?
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: He told me he worked for General Mattis.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: He told me he worked for the CIA.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Back at Mathilda, he said he could hook me up with a free satellite TV.

"Generation Kill: A Burning Dog (#1.5)" (2008)
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Sergeant Colbert, I was thinking. Those trees behind us, what if the guys who fired at us were in them?
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Much as I appreciate Rolling Stone's tactical input, I'm confident in the birds.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Birds?
Cpl. Gabe Garza: Anything moves in those trees, the birds don't sing.

"Generation Kill: Screwby (#1.3)" (2008)
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: Most people in America right now think of Iraq as a dangerous country. Now, if I were to stand up, I might get killed. But to us, behind this wheel it's pretty safe. So to us, Iraq is a safe country. Right here, I feel pretty safe. Do you feel safe?
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: Pretty safe, I guess.
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: See? It's all relative.

"Generation Kill: Bomb in the Garden (#1.7)" (2008)
[while under fire in Baghdad]
Sgt. Steven Lovell: Sniper. He's in front of us.
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: How can you tell?
Sgt. Steven Lovell: You can only hear that clearly when you're directly in front of the rifle barrel.
[the sniper fires another shot]
Sgt. Steven Lovell: That zip means it's passing a few meters from our ears.
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: One at a time! Colbert, go!
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Bounding!
[he runs across the alley and takes cover behind a wall as the sniper continues to fire]
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Set!
Sgt. Antonio Espera: I got no muzzle flashes.
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: Rudy, go!
Sgt. Rodolfo 'Rudy' Reyes: Bounding!
[he makes it across the alley]
Sgt. Rodolfo 'Rudy' Reyes: Set!
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: Lovell, go!
Sgt. Steven Lovell: Bounding!
[he makes it across the alley]
Sgt. Steven Lovell: Set!
Sgt. Antonio Espera: All right, Poke, go.
Sgt. Antonio Espera: Bounding!
[he makes it across the alley; a bullet ricochets off the barrel Wright is hiding behind]
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: God!
Sgt. Antonio Espera: Set!
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: Reporter, you ready?
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: [uncertainly] Y-yes!
Lt. Nathaniel Fick: Go!
[Wright takes off running down the alley in a zigzag pattern; Fick shakes his head]
Sgt. Antonio Espera: [laughing] What the fuck?
[Wright finally makes it behind the wall]
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Set, sir!
[Fick makes it across the alley]
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: All up, sir. Reporter, what the fuck was that?
Evan 'Scribe' Wright: "Serpentine, Shel, serpentine." You know, the movie, "The In-Laws." Peter Falk tells Alan Arkin, "Always run in a serpentine fashion." I was running evasively.
Sgt. Steven Lovell: The next time we come under fire, run in a straight line. You'll live longer.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: And have a full, happy life of betraying us and others with your venal lies.