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Quotes for
Tim (Character)
from Porky's (1981)

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Porky's (1981)
Mr. Cavanaugh: Look's like I'm gonna make a man out of you yet, boy.
Tim: A man? If being a man means being what you are, I'd rather be queer.

Tim: Anybody wanna go fly a kite with me tonight? I hear it's great weather for flying KITES! I wonder if there's any KITES around here we can fly!
Brian Schwartz: Hey listen, Cavanaugh. It's not kite, it's KIKE! K-I-K-E, "kike." You know, you're too stupid to even be a good bigot!

Tommy Turner: [to the rest of the guys at Cherry Forever's house] Okay, Cherry's ready. Everyone get their clothes off.
Tim: Wait. What's this bullshit?
Billy: She's got to make sure everybody clean. No VD.
Steve: How's she going to tell that by looking at us?
Tommy Turner: She's done this so many times, she's practically a doctor.
Tim: Yeah, and who's going to inspect her?
[murmurs of agreement from the rest of the guys]
Billy: Look, you guys want to get laid or have a debate?
Pee Wee Morris: Okay, I'm ready!
[they turn to see Pee-Wee wasted no time stripping down, then laughter of all kinds go through the crowd, which Pee-Wee ignores]
Pee Wee Morris: I'm gonna get laid. Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

Tim: [pushing Brian out of his father's site and taking his place] Get outta here.
Mr. Cavanaugh: What?
Tim: You heard what I said.
Mr. Cavanaugh: Well, who ya talking to, boy?
Tim: [relaxing] Trash. Pure trash.
Mr. Cavanaugh: Now, son, that's no way to talk to your pa.
Tim: [looks back at everyone else watching then back at him] You know, I really wish you hadn't said that, because you don't know how humiliating it is to have anyone even know you're my pa.
[get's smacked hard across the face. Meat is now trying to get at Tim's father but is being held back by everyone. Yelling back to Meat]
Tim: Stay out of this!
[back to his father]
Tim: You make sure you're finished, because this is going to be the last time you ever lay a hand on me again, you SON OF A BITCH!
[is taken up against the wall and smacked repeatedly]

Sheriff Wallace: Well, it looks like to me we got five Angel Beach assholes here. Yes, sir. Five walkin' talkin' rectums.
[Sheriff chuckles; to Mickey]
Sheriff Wallace: Where's your car, boy?
Mickey: [points to his Ford pick-up truck] Right there.
Sheriff Wallace: You from Seward County?
Mickey: Yeah.
Sheriff Wallace: Well, I don't know much about the laws in Seward County, but we got laws here about driving with busted headlights.
Mickey: I don't have a busted headlight.
Sheriff Wallace: Don't have a busted headlight?
[the Sheriff smashes the right-side headlight of Mickey's truck; Porky and his goons laughs]
Mickey: [shocked] Shit!
Sheriff Wallace: That's a $35.00 fine. Thirty-five bucks or a night in jail!
Tommy Turner: I've got fifteen bucks.
Pee Wee Morris: I've got-I've got five.
Sheriff Wallace: You got five, you got fifteen, huh?
Meat: I've got twelve.
Tim: I think I got three.
Porky: [to his goons] Watch this.
[the Sheriff then smashes the rear right-side taillight]
Mickey: [grows angry] Goddamn it!
[Porky and his goons laughing]
Sheriff Wallace: You got a busted taillight, too. That's 20 more dollars. Can you cover it?
Mickey: I've got ten.
Sheriff Wallace: Give it to me! Give me all you got.
[the Sheriff starts collecting the boys money, but stops midway]
Sheriff Wallace: Well, I guess I can show a little leniency for first offenders. Whadaya say, Pork? Should I give these nice lads a break?
Porky: Oh, they seem like a nice bunch of clean-cut Angel Beach pussies. A little smelly. Yeah, give 'em a break.
Sheriff Wallace: You heard the man. You get your candy-asses back over to Seward County and you keep 'em there. This here's a "man's" county. Go on, get the fuck out. Go on. Go on!
[the boys pile up in Mickey's truck]
Sheriff Wallace: Go on. Here we go! Here we go! Goin' home now, ain't we?
Porky: [to his goons] I don't think they'll be comin' back. Let's go back inside and get some beer.