Jesse Pinkman
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Quotes for
Jesse Pinkman (Character)
from "Breaking Bad" (2008)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Breaking Bad: Fly (#3.10)" (2010)
Jesse Pinkman: Gatorade me bitch!

Jesse Pinkman: Look, I like making cherry product, but let's keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don't care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.

Jesse Pinkman: Possum. Big, freaky, lookin' bitch. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin' up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he's irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything?

Jesse Pinkman: Dude, you scared the shit out of me. When you say it's contamination. I mean, I'm thinking like... an ebola leak or something.
Walter White: Ebola.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt.
Walter White: Thank you, I know what ebola is.

Walter White: I've been to my oncologist, Jesse. Just last week. I'm still in remission. I'm healthy.
Jesse Pinkman: That's good. Great.
Walter White: No end in sight.
Jesse Pinkman: That's great.
Walter White: No. I missed it. There was some perfect moment that passed me right by, but I had to have enough to leave them. That was the whole point. None of this makes any sense if I didn't have enough. And it had to be before she found out. Skyler. It had to be before that.
Jesse Pinkman: Perfect moment? For what? To drop dead? Are you saying you want to die?
Walter White: I'm saying that I lived too long. You want them to actually miss you. You want their memories of you to be... but she just won't... she just won't understand. I mean, no matter how well I explain it, these days she just has this... this... I mean, I truly believe there exists some combination of words. There must exist certain words in a certain specific order that can explain all of this, but with her I just can't ever seem to find them.
Jesse Pinkman: Mr. White, why don't you just sit down?
Walter White: You know, I was thinking before the fugue state, but during the fugue state I didn't have enough money, so no, not then. And plus my daughter wasn't born yet. It had to be after Holly was born.
Jesse Pinkman: Mr. White...
Walter White: Definitely before the surgery. Ah Christ, that damn second cell phone. I mean, how could I possibly?... Oh, I know the moment. It was the night Jane died. I was at home and we needed diapers and so I said I'd go, but it was just an excuse. Actually that was the night I brought you your money, remember?
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah. I remember.
Walter White: And afterward I stopped at a bar. It was odd, I never do that - go to a bar alone. I just walked in, sat down. I never told you.
Jesse Pinkman: You went to a bar?
Walter White: I sit down and this man, this stranger, he engages me in conversation. He's a complete stranger. But he turns out to be Jane's father, Donald Margolis.
Jesse Pinkman: What are you talking about?
Walter White: Of course I didn't know it at the time. I mean, he's just some guy in a bar. I just didn't put it together until after the crash when he was all over the news.
Jesse Pinkman: Jane's dad?
Walter White: Think of the odds. Once I tried to calculate them, but they're astronomical. I mean, think of the odds of me going in and sitting down that night, in that bar, next to that man.
Jesse Pinkman: What'd you talk about?
Walter White: Water on mars. Family.
Jesse Pinkman: What about family?
Walter White: I told him that I had a daughter and he told me he had one, too. And he said, "Never give up on family." And I didn't. I took his advice. My God, the universe is random, it's not inevitable, it's simple chaos. It's subatomic particles in endless, aimless collision. That's what science teaches us, but what does this say? What is it telling us that the very night that this man's daughter dies, it's me who is having a drink with him? I mean, how could that be random?
Jesse Pinkman: Hey, sit down.
Walter White: No, no, it's, uh... Oh, that was the moment. That night. I should never have left home. Never gone to your house. Maybe things would have... Oh, I was... I was at home watching TV. Some nature program about elephants... and Skyler and Holly were in another room. I can hear them on the baby monitor. She was singing a lullaby. Oh, if I had just lived right up to that moment... and not one second more. That would have been perfect.

Jesse Pinkman: So you're chasing around a fly and in your world, I'm the idiot?

Jesse Pinkman: So that's your... flysaber?


"Breaking Bad: Dead Freight (#5.5)" (2012)
[last lines]
Jesse Pinkman: No! No!

Mike Ehrmantraut: The woman put a hit out on me.
Walter White: Seriously?
Jesse Pinkman: Wait. A hit? What? Like the mafia?
Mike Ehrmantraut: Yeah, like the mafia.

Jesse Pinkman: Boosting methylamine from a train is, like, a major rap. The point is nobody, other than us, can ever know that this robbery went down.

Jesse Pinkman: What if we can rip off that train, and no one ever knows it got robbed?

Jesse Pinkman: [measuring the train track for the heist] It's perfect! Yeah, we do it here. We do it right here!


"Breaking Bad: Cat's in the Bag... (#1.2)" (2008)
Walter White: After we finish cleaning up this mess... we will go our separate ways. Our paths will never cross and we will tell this to no one. Understood?
Jesse Pinkman: Oh, what I can talk now?

Walter White: I guess the only other fair way to go about this would be that one of us deals with the body situation while the other one of us deal with the Krazy-8 situation. In a scenario like this I don't suppose it is bad form to just... flip a coin. Heads or tails?
Jesse Pinkman: No, I'll do the body in the acid OK?
Walter White: Heads or tails?
Jesse Pinkman: Heads... heads.
Walter White: [flips coin, shows heads] Best two out of three?

Jesse Pinkman: Mr. White? Are you smoking weed? Oh my god... wait a minute, is that, is that my weed? What the hell man, make yourself at home why don't you.

Jesse Pinkman: All right, All tight, look, not touching,okay? Not touching here. Look, lady, whatever you're selling, I ain't buying, Yo...
Skyler White: Well, my name is Skyler White, Yo! My husband is Walter White, Yo! Uh-Huh... He told me everything.


"Breaking Bad: Kafkaesque (#3.9)" (2010)
Jesse Pinkman: What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?

Group Leader: Jesse, last time, you seemed down about your job at the Laundromat. Let me ask something, if you had the chance to do anything you wanted, what would you do?
Jesse Pinkman: Make more green, man. A lot more.
Group Leader: Forget about money. Assume you have all you want.
Jesse Pinkman: I don't know. I guess I would make something.
Group Leader: Like what?
Jesse Pinkman: I don't know if it even matters, but... work with my hands, I guess.
Group Leader: Building things, like carpentry or bricklaying or something?
Jesse Pinkman: I took this vo-tech class in high school, woodworking. I took a lot of vo-tech classes, because it was just big jerk-off, but this one time I had this teacher by the name of... Mr... Mr. Pike. I guess he was like a Marine or something before he got old. He was hard hearing. My project for his class was to make this wooden box. You know, like a small, just like a... like a box, you know, to put stuff in. So I wanted to get the thing done as fast as possible. I figured I could cut classes for the rest of the semester and he couldn't flunk me as long as I, you know, made the thing. So I finished it in a couple days. And it looked pretty lame, but it worked. You know, for putting in or whatnot. So when I showed it to Mr. Pike for my grade, he looked at it and said: "Is that the best you can do?" At first I thought to myself "Hell yeah, bitch. Now give me a D and shut up so I can go blaze one with my boys." I don't know. Maybe it was the way he said it, but... it was like he wasn't exactly saying it sucked. He was just asking me honestly, "Is that all you got?" And for some reason, I thought to myself: "Yeah, man, I can do better." So I started from scratch. I made another, then another. And by the end of the semester, by like box number five, I had built this thing. You should have seen it. It was insane. I mean, I built it out of Peruvian walnut with inlaid zebrawood. It was fitted with pegas, no screws. I sanded it for days, until it was smooth as glass. Then I rubbed all the wood with tung oil so it was rich and dark. It even smelled good. You know, you put nose in it and breathed in, it was... it was perfect.
Group Leader: What happened to the box?
Jesse Pinkman: I... I gave it to my mom.
Group Leader: Nice. You know what I'm gonna say, don't you? It's never too late. They have art co-ops that offer classes, adult extension program at the University.
Jesse Pinkman: You know, I didn't give the box to my mom. I traded it for an ounce of weed.

Group Leader: Jesse? Jesse? What about you? Face looks better. How's it all going? Anything you wanna tell us about?
Jesse Pinkman: What, like my interesting life? Uh, one day pretty much bleeds into the next. Been working a lot. Got a job.
Group Leader: Job is good.
Jesse Pinkman: It's... it's in a laundromat. It's totally corporate.
Group Leader: Corporate laundromat.
Jesse Pinkman: It's, like, rigid. All kinds of red tape. My boss is a dick. The owner, super dick. I'm not worthy to meet him, but I guess everybody's scared of the dude. The place is full of dead-eyed douche bags, the hours suck and nobody knows what's going on, so...
Group Leader: Sounds kind of Kafkaesque.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah. Totally Kafkaesque.

Badger: I can't believe you had to crush the RV. Must've been depressing.
Skinny Pete: For real. That's a stone loss.
Jesse Pinkman: No one misses it more than me. Free to cook anytime, anywhere. No quotas, no one to answer to. What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?
Badger: Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star.
Skinny Pete: True that. Two of them bitches.
Badger: Just saying. Devil's advocate.
Jesse Pinkman: I gotta pay taxes? What's up with that? That's messed up. That's Kafkaesque.
Skinny Pete: Church.
Badger: Right.


"Breaking Bad: Pilot (#1.1)" (2008)
Walter H. White: It's me. I'm alone.
Jesse Pinkman: How'd you find me?
Walter H. White: You're still in our filing system. So your aunt owns this place right?
Jesse Pinkman: I own it.
Walter H. White: No one's looking for you.
Jesse Pinkman: Why are you here?
Walter H. White: I was curious. Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much, but methamphetamine? I didn't picture that. There's a lot of money in it, huh?
Jesse Pinkman: I don't know what you're talking about.
Walter H. White: No?
Jesse Pinkman: Not a clue.
Walter H. White: "Cap'n Cook?" That's not you? Like I said, no one is looking for you.
Jesse Pinkman: Look, I don't know what you think you're doing here, Mr. White. I mean, if you're planning on giving me some bullshit about getting right with Jesus by turning myself in...
Walter H. White: Not really.
Jesse Pinkman: High school was a long time ago. You ain't "Welcome Back Kotter", so step off.
Walter H. White: No speeches. Short speech. You lost your partner today. What's his name - Emilio? Emilio is going to prison. The DEA took all your money, your lab. You got nothing. Square one. But you know the business and I know the chemistry. I'm thinking... maybe you and I could partner up.
Jesse Pinkman: You want to cook crystal meth? You and, uh... and me?
Walter H. White: That's right... or I turn you in.

Jesse Pinkman: Dude this isn't even seven grand alright, my guy wants eighty-five.
Walter H. White: This is all the money I have in the world. You're a drug dealer... negotiate.
Jesse Pinkman: Y-Y-You are not how I remember you from class, I mean like not at all.
Walter H. White: I gotta go.
Jesse Pinkman: Wait wait hold on. Tell me why you are doing this... seriously.
Walter H. White: Why do you do it?
Jesse Pinkman: Money... mainly.
Walter H. White: There you go.
Jesse Pinkman: Nah come on... man, some straight like you giant stick up his ass all of a sudden at age what 60 he's just going to break bad.
Walter H. White: Fifty.
Jesse Pinkman: It's weird is all okay it... it doesn't compute. Listen if you've gone crazy or something. I mean if you've if-if-if you've gone crazy or depressed I'm... I'm just saying that that's something I need to know about. Okay, I mean that that affects me.
Walter H. White: I am... awake.
Jesse Pinkman: What?
Walter H. White: Buy the RV. We start tomorrow.

Jesse Pinkman: Hey, what'd you do to them.
Walter H. White: Red phosphorus in the presence of moisture and accelerated by heat yields phosphorus hydride. Phosphine gas. One good wiff, and phewf...
[pukes]

Walter H. White: Volumetric flask is for general mixing and titration. You wouldn't apply heat to a volumetric flask. That's what a boiling flask is for. Did you learn nothing from my chemistry class?
Jesse Pinkman: No, you flunked me. Remember?


"Breaking Bad: Peekaboo (#2.6)" (2009)
Jesse Pinkman: You got something for me?
Skinny Pete: Yeah, I found 'em.
Jesse Pinkman: Is this a five or an S?
Skinny Pete: Five, yo. No wait... S. No, no... yeah, five.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah? Jesus, how the hell do you spell "street" wrong? S-T-R-E-A-T?
Skinny Pete: Hey, man, I'm slingin' mad volume and fat stackin' benjis, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't be all about, like, spelling and shit.
Jesse Pinkman: Okay. So they got names?
Skinny Pete: Hers is like, I dunno, she's just this woman is all. Him, they call Spooge.
Jesse Pinkman: Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a man named Spooge?

Jesse Pinkman: Yo, don't you wanna watch something other than this, like I don't know, Mister Rogers?

Jesse Pinkman: What the hell kind of mother are you?
Spooge's Woman: Huh?
Jesse Pinkman: How 'bout you feed the kid a decent meal every now and then, huh? Give him a bath. Put some baby powder on him. Get him some decent TV to watch; I mean, what is that shit? Are you serious?
Spooge's Woman: You give me one hit, and I'll be any kind of mother that you want.


"Breaking Bad: One Minute (#3.7)" (2010)
Walter White: Listen, something's come up. I think it's a good opportunity. There's been a job opening. I need a new lab assistant.
Jesse Pinkman: I already did my time. Why don't you just get yourself a monkey?
Walter White: I don't want a monkey. I want you.
Jesse Pinkman: Oh, gee, thanks. Well, not interested. I got my own thing going on. And nice try saving your ass-hat brother-in-law.
Walter White: That's not why I'm here, Jesse. There's more. It's more than an assistant. Partners. We'd be partners again. Split everything, 50/50, just like before. 1.5 million dollars. Each.
Jesse Pinkman: No.
Walter White: I don't think you heard me.
Jesse Pinkman: I heard you fine. I said no.
Walter White: You understand this: you are turning down one and a half million dollars...
Jesse Pinkman: I am not turning down the money! I am turning down you! You get it? I want NOTHING to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to shit, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I HAVE NOTHING! NO ONE! ALRIGHT, IT'S ALL GONE, GET IT? No, no, no, why... why would you get it? What do you even care, as long as you get what you want, right? You don't give a shit about me! You said I was no good. I'm nothing! Why would you want me, huh? You said my meth is inferior, right? Right? Hey! You said my cook was GARBAGE! Hey, screw you, man! Screw you!
[long pause]
Walter White: Your meth is good, Jesse. As good as mine.
[Walt leaves]

Walter White: So, what uh, what happens now?
Jesse Pinkman: What happens now? I'll tell you what happens now. Your scumbag brother-in-law is finished. Done. You understand? I will own him when this is over. Every cent he earns, every cent his wife earns is mine. Any place he goes, anywhere he turns I'm gonna be there, grabbing my share. He'll be scrubbing toilets in Tijuana for pennies, and I'll be standing over him to get my cut. He'll see me when he wakes up in the morning, and when he crawls to sleep in whatever rat hole's left for him after I shred his house down. I will haunt his crusty ass forever until the day he sticks a gun up his mouth and pulls the trigger just to get me out of his head. That's what happens next.

Walter White: Jesse, move on with your life. Leave it behind, all of it.
Walter White: Nothing changes. Once I walk out of here, I get myself a new RV and go start cooking again.
Walter White: How, exactly, do you think you're going to get away with that? They will catch you.
Jesse Pinkman: So what? I've got a get out of jail free card.
Saul Goodman: Hey, I may have overstated the power of your face...
Jesse Pinkman: Not this. If the cops catch me, I give them what they want the most.
Jesse Pinkman: [turns to Walter] You. If they nab me, I make a deal to give up the great Heisenberg and his million dollar drug ring. You're my free pass, bitch.


"Breaking Bad: Buyout (#5.6)" (2012)
Jesse Pinkman: Are we in the meth business, or the money business?

Jesse Pinkman: I, uh, I eat a lot of frozen stuff. It's usually pretty bad. I mean, the pictures are always so awesome, you know? It's like, "Hell yeah, I'm stoked for this lasagna!" And then you nuke it, and the cheese gets all scabby on top, and it's like... it's like you're eating a scab... I mean, seriously, what's that about? It's like, yo, what ever happened to truth in advertising?
[chuckles]
Jesse Pinkman: You know?

Jesse Pinkman: Look, when you, uh, when you started this thing, did you ever dream of having $5 million? I know for a fact that you didn't. I know for a fact all you needed was 737 000, 'cause you worked it all out, like, mathematically.


"Breaking Bad: Say My Name (#5.7)" (2012)
Jesse Pinkman: [Looking at the truck] Vamanos.
Skyler White: I wish.

Walter White: Now that we're in control, no one else gets hurt.
Jesse Pinkman: You keep saying that, and it's bullshit every time!

Jesse Pinkman: I'm done, okay? You just give me my money, and you and I, we're done.


"Breaking Bad: Rabid Dog (#5.12)" (2013)
Jesse Pinkman: Look... look, you two guys are just... guys, okay? Mr. White... he's the devil. You know, he is... he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you. Whatever... whatever you think is supposed to happen... I'm telling you, the exact reverse opposite of that is gonna happen, okay?

Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, Mr. White is gay for me.

Jesse Pinkman: If I go to that Plaza I'm a dead man!


"Breaking Bad: Crazy Handful of Nothin' (#1.6)" (2008)
Walt: Last time I checked, there was 16 ounces to a pound. What'd you do with the rest, smoke it?
Jesse Pinkman: Yo I been out there all night slangin' crystal. You think it's cake movin' a pound of meth, one teenth at a time?
Walt: So why you selling it in such small quantities? Why don't you just sell the whole pound at once?
Jesse Pinkman: To who? What do I look like? Scarface?
Walt: This is unacceptable. I am breaking the law here. This return is too little for the risk. I thought you'd be ready for another pound today.
Jesse Pinkman: You may know a lot about chemistry, man. But you don't know jack about slangin' dope.

Walter H. White: We have to move our production bulk wholesale now. How do we do that?
Jesse Pinkman: What do you mean? To, like, a distributor?
Walter H. White: Yes. Yes, that's what we need. We need a distributor now. Do you know anyone like that?
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah. I mean, I used to until you killed him.

Jesse Pinkman: [Walter comes out of the RV, hardly able to breathe and disoriented] Sit down get some air.
[He sits down, Jesse notices the mark on his chest]
Jesse Pinkman: When were you gonna tell me?
Walter H. White: Tell you what?
Jesse Pinkman: Cancer! You got it, right?
Walter H. White: [surprised] How did you know?
Jesse Pinkman: My aunt, had one those dots on her, to target the radiation. What is it, in your lung? I'm your partner man, you should have told me. That's not cool man, not at all. What stage are you?
Walter H. White: [feeling nauseated, clutching his stomach as he catches his breath] 3A.
Jesse Pinkman: [looking away] It's in your lymph nodes.
Walter H. White: [puts his glasses on and looks at Jesse] Your aunt... How bad was she when they caught it?
Jesse Pinkman: Bad enough, she didn't last long.
Walter H. White: How long?
Jesse Pinkman: Seven months.
[looks at Walt with sudden realization]
Jesse Pinkman: I get it now, that's why you're doing all this, you want to make some cash for your people before you check out.
Walter H. White: You got a problem with that?


"Breaking Bad: Negro Y Azul (#2.7)" (2009)
Jesse Pinkman: I'm a blowfish, yeeeah blowfishing this up!

Jesse Pinkman: We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king, you guys'll be princes or dukes or something.
Badger: I wanna be a knight.

Jesse Pinkman: Can this person identify you? Can she identify you being there? She couldn't identify her left ass cheek.


"Breaking Bad: I See You (#3.8)" (2010)
Walter H. White: [On phone at hospital with Skyler looking on] Well yes, I will be sure and pass your best wishes on to everyone. Thank you and goodbye.
Jesse Pinkman: [On phone back at meth lab] Oh yeah. And tell that douche bag brother-in-law of yours to go towards the light.

Hospital Worker: [Jesse has been released from the hospital and escorted to the door in a wheelchair, he lights up a cigarette] Sir, if you want to smoke, you need to be 20 feet away from the door.
Jesse Pinkman: So roll me further bitch!


"Breaking Bad: 4 Days Out (#2.9)" (2009)
Jesse Pinkman: Battery's dead.
Walter H. White: Jesse. Back when I asked you to put the keys in a safe place, where did you put them?
Jesse Pinkman: I left them right here. In the, um... the ignition.
Walter H. White: Son of a bitch!
Jesse Pinkman: Whoa whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The buzzer didn't buzz.
Walter H. White: The WHAT?
Jesse Pinkman: The buzzer! The buzzer that buzzes when you put the keys in. To like let you know that the battery's on. I know that! It didn't buzz. Look, I didn't turn the key or anything, alright? I'm not stupid. Did you hear the buzzer buzz? I did not... It's faulty, it's a faulty mechanism.
Walter H. White: Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?
Jesse Pinkman: THE BUZZER DID NOT BUZZ and you were the one that made me move the keys in the first place, REMEMBER?
Walter H. White: Yes, I see your point. Your imbecility being what it is, I should have known to say JESSE, DON'T LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION THE ENTIRE TWO DAYS.
Jesse Pinkman: I wanted to leave them on the counter. BITCH. Oh, I'm sorry, oh, the "work station". Jesus.
Walter H. White: Okay, just... Alright so, we need to jump the battery somehow.
Jesse Pinkman: Okay. How?

Walter H. White: Jesse. Jesse. Your body is running dangerously low on electrolytes. Sodium, potassium, calcium. And when they're gone, your brain ceases to communicate with your muscles. Your lungs stop breathing. Your heart stops pumping. You go marching out there and within an hour you will be dead.
Jesse Pinkman: Okay. You need to cut out all your loser cry-baby crap RIGHT NOW and think of something SCIENTIFIC.
Walter H. White: Something scientific? Right.
Jesse Pinkman: What? Come on! Man, you're smart. You made poison out of beans, yo. Look, we got, we got an entire lab right here. Alright? How about you pick some of these chemicals and mix up some rocket fuel? That way you could just send up a signal flare. Or you make some kind of robot to get us help, or a homing device, or build a new battery, or... Wait. No. What if we just take some stuff off of the RV and build it into something completely different? You know, like a... Like a dune buggy. That way, we can just dune buggy or... What? Hey? What is it? What?
Walter H. White: [starts to get up]
Jesse Pinkman: What? Hey? What is it? What?
Walter H. White: Do you, do you have any money? Change, I mean. Coins.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, I got a bunch of them. From the...
Walter H. White: Okay.
Jesse Pinkman: YES!
Walter H. White: Gather them, and, and, and the washers and nuts and bolts and screws and whatever little pieces of metal we can think of that is galvanized. It has to be galvanized, or solid zinc.
Jesse Pinkman: Solid zinc, okay.
Walter H. White: And, and bring me, bring me brake pads. The front wheels should have discs. Take them off and bring them to me.
Jesse Pinkman: Alright, brake pads. Okay. What are we building?
Walter H. White: You said it yourself.
Jesse Pinkman: A robot?
Walter H. White: A battery. MOVE!


"Breaking Bad: Phoenix (#2.12)" (2009)
Jane Margolis: Do you know what this is?
Jesse Pinkman: It's a whole lot of cheddar.
Jane Margolis: This is freedom. This is saying, "I can go anywhere I want. I can be anybody." What do you want to be? Where do you want to go? South America? Europe? Australia?
Jesse Pinkman: Is New Zealand part of Australia?
Jane Margolis: New Zealand is New Zealand.
Jesse Pinkman: Right on. New Zealand. That's where they made "Lord of the Rings". I say we just move there, yo. I mean, you can do your art. Right? Like, you can paint the local castles and shit. And I can be a bush pilot.

Jesse Pinkman: [Speaking about Walter White] I mean, like, like, who's he, right? I mean, first off, I taught him. He's always acting like I'm his dentured servant.


"Breaking Bad: Gray Matter (#1.5)" (2008)
Badger: Hey dude, are these bullet holes?
Jesse Pinkman: Ah, no man, those are for like um, ya know, ah ventilation.
Badger: Whoo. Nice setup huh? Man.
Jesse Pinkman: This is nothing man, I used to have like twice as much glassware, till my um dumb-ass ex-partner drove us into a ditch and wrecked most of it.
Badger: Big-ass beaker huh?
Jesse Pinkman: Ah, wait, wait, wait no that's yeah that's a, a boiling flask. This is a beaker. Here's a Griffin beaker, here's a ah volumetric beaker. Here's ah, an Erlenmeyer flask. Um, ya got...
Badger: Wow, you really know your shit.
Jesse Pinkman: It's just basic chemistry, yo.

Badger: You are a genius, bro. This kankenstein is unreal. When we get back I'm gonna burn that dollar bill 'case we are gonna make some mad dough.
Jesse Pinkman: It's not right.
Badger: What do you mean, it's not right?
Jesse Pinkman: It's... cloudy, it's not supposed to be cloudy OK. That last time it was glass.
Badger: So what? Cloudy, not cloudy, it looks good enough to me.
Jesse Pinkman: Good enough...
[tosses batch into the desert]
Badger: Wait, wait. Yo, what are you doing? Ahhh. What are you out of your mind? I totally would have smoked that.
Jesse Pinkman: Look, it's not for you it's for our customers. They're going to demand a certain standard.
Badger: What? What... what are you? What?
Jesse Pinkman: We'll just do it again... until we get it right.


"Breaking Bad: Abiquiu (#3.11)" (2010)
Jesse Pinkman: [looking at the painting "My Last Door" by Georgia O'Keeffe] Yo, I thought I was gonna see some, like, vaginas.
Jane Margolis: I didn't say she actually painted vaginas. I said, some of her paintings looked like vaginas.
Jesse Pinkman: Uh, seriously? Not even close.
Jane Margolis: Georgia O'Keeffe painted all kinds of stuff. Everyday items, her surroundings. Some of it evoked an erotic nature. It's who she was.
Jesse Pinkman: Not like any vagina I ever saw. This chick have medical issues?
Jane Margolis: This particular painting... is of a door.
Jesse Pinkman: Any other doors we can check out? Like, real ones or...

Jesse Pinkman: You know, I don't get it. Why would anyone paint a picture of a door, over and over again, like, dozens of times?
Jane Margolis: But it wasn't the same.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, it was.
Jane Margolis: It was the same subject, but it was different every time. The light was different, her mood was different. She saw something new every time she painted it.
Jesse Pinkman: And that's not psycho to you?
Jane Margolis: Well, then why should we do anything more than once? Should I just smoke this one cigarette? Maybe we should only have sex once, if it's the same thing.
Jesse Pinkman: ...no.
Jane Margolis: Should we just watch one sunset? Or live just one day? Because it's new every time. Each time is a different experience.
Jesse Pinkman: Okay, fine. I guess the cow skull pictures were cool, but a door? I will say it again. A door.
Jane Margolis: Why not a door? Sometimes you get fixated on something, and you might not even get why. You open yourself up and go with the flow, wherever the universe takes you.
Jesse Pinkman: Okay, so the universe took her to a door. And she got all obesessed with it, and just had to paint it 20 times until it was perfect.
Jane Margolis: No. I wouldn't say that. Nothing's perfect.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah? Well, I mean,
[looking to her]
Jesse Pinkman: some things.
Jane Margolis: Aww, that was so sweet, I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Jesse Pinkman: You can't admit, just for once, that I'm right. Come on. That O'Keeffe lady kept trying over and over until that stupid door was perfect.
Jane Margolis: No. That door was her home and she loved it. To me, that's about making that feeling last.


"Breaking Bad: Cancer Man (#1.4)" (2008)
Combo: Hey yo what happened to your hallway man? Did ah like the ceiling fall down or?
Jesse Pinkman: Oh yeah, ah, naw man I think the house is just settling. Ya know it's been caving in left and right, hit me in the eye. It's bananas.
Skinny Pete: Yo my pops could fix you up. He's like a contractor or something.
Jesse Pinkman: Oh yeah? Yeah right on. I should grab that number.

Jesse Pinkman: Maybe just so happens, that ah, I just recently cooked the best batch ever.
Skinny Pete: Yeah?
Jesse Pinkman: Oh yeah. I came up with this whole new recipe. It's more like a formula. It's like way, way more chemically... shit you know it's just just the bomb so... but ya I don't know I've been thinking lately I just lay off of it for a while cause lately it's been kinda making me paranoid so... you know for like, like health-wise just lay off.
Combo: Yo, if you're, if you're not into sharing man, just tell us to piss off it's cool. We don't need no soap opera.
Skinny Pete: Yeah man whatever.
Jesse Pinkman: Naw, naw, naw, it's all, it's all good. I'm just saying hay I got, I got plenty of pot.
Combo: Yeah, I think I'll bounce man.
Skinny Pete: Yeah, sounds about right.
Jesse Pinkman: Hey yo, yo, hey homes. I'm joking OK. I'm totally joking... with you. You kidding? Sit down.


"Breaking Bad: Bug (#4.9)" (2011)
Jesse Pinkman: Can you walk?
Walter White: Yeah.
Jesse Pinkman: Then get the fuck out and never come back.

Walter White: [Confronting Jesse over his failed attempt at poisoning Gus] Two hours and eighteen minutes and you couldn't figure out a way to give it to him?
Jesse Pinkman: He never left the room!
Walter White: Oh you lying little shit! You had one thing to do, one thing! That is the only thing, I might add, that might have save our lives. And you were right there, you were in his house! And you didn't have the guts to do it.
Jesse Pinkman: [suspiciously] Two hours and eighteen minutes?
Walter White: You had no intention of killing him, did you?
Jesse Pinkman: How did you know I was at his house last night? Were you following me?
Walter White: [Walt takes out the tracking device and throws it to Jesse] This. This is how I knew.
Jesse Pinkman: You bugged my car?
Walter White: 7:10 to 9:28 pm. Two hours and eighteen minutes but you had no intentions, did you? Not the slightest intention.
Jesse Pinkman: Everything that I have done for you...
Walter White: Oh!
Jesse Pinkman: You put a bug on MY car?
Walter White: I'm sorry, after everything you've done for me? What you've done for me? You've killed me is what you've done! You've signed my death warrant. And now you want advice? I'll give you advice: Go to Mexico and screw up like I know you will. And wind up in a barrel somewhere!
[Jesse angrily throws the device hard at Walt]


"Breaking Bad: Breakage (#2.5)" (2009)
Jesse Pinkman: Jane, I gotta say, this place is awesome!
Jane Margolis: Really? Does it inspire awe?

Walter White: ...that leaves us with a total of two choices. We go into business with yet another homicidal lunatic... or you and I start - You selling whatever you can.
Jesse Pinkman: There's a third way.
Walter White: And what would that be?
Jesse Pinkman: We got to be Tuco.


"Breaking Bad: Sunset (#3.6)" (2010)
Jesse Pinkman: This my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed... bitch!

Jesse Pinkman: This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... bitch!


"Breaking Bad: Hermanos (#4.8)" (2011)
Jesse Pinkman: So what if this is like, math, or algebra? Now you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, you get like, zero douchebags.


"Breaking Bad: Live Free or Die (#5.1)" (2012)
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, bitch! Magnets!


"Breaking Bad: Granite State (#5.15)" (2013)
Jesse Pinkman: [after getting caught] Just kill me now and get it over with, because there's no way I'm doing one more cook for you psycho fucks!


"Breaking Bad: Cornered (#4.6)" (2011)
Tucker: What are you doing?
Jesse Pinkman: Digging.
Tucker: Why?
Jesse Pinkman: You know why.
Tucker: How deep are you going?
Jesse Pinkman: I don't know. How deep do you think it is?
Tucker: Pretty deep.
Jesse Pinkman: Hey, you mind taking over for a minute?
Tucker: Yeah, sure.


"Breaking Bad: Madrigal (#5.2)" (2012)
Jesse Pinkman: I don't know what's wrong with me, Mr. White.


"Breaking Bad: Grilled (#2.2)" (2009)
Tuco Salamanca: Tell me what you did, Walter!
Jesse Pinkman: Jesus, I don't wanna die! NO!
Tuco Salamanca: TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!
Walter White: We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die.


"Breaking Bad: ...And the Bag's in the River (#1.3)" (2008)
Jesse Pinkman: Back off man, Jesus.
Walter White: We've got work to do.
Jesse Pinkman: No, no. You. you've got work to do. I did my part.
Walter White: You mean that obscenity that I spent the last two hour cleaning up? That is your contribution?
Jesse Pinkman: Yo kiss my pink ass man. I didn't ask for any of this. Alright how am I supposed to live here now huh? My whole house smells like toe cheese and dry cleaning.
Walter White: Because you didn't follow my instructions.
Jesse Pinkman: Oh, well heil Hitler bitch and let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin. OK, you and me. You and me. Coin flip is sacred. Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin. Fucking do it already.


"Breaking Bad: Crawl Space (#4.11)" (2011)
Jesse Pinkman: Let Mr. White go. Pay him off or fire him. Don't kill him.
Gustavo 'Gus' Fring: You know that won't work.
Jesse Pinkman: Then you've got a problem.


"Breaking Bad: Seven Thirty-Seven (#2.1)" (2009)
Jesse Pinkman: Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk?


"Breaking Bad: A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal (#1.7)" (2008)
Jesse Pinkman: I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushie then flushed down my toilet. I can't even take a proper dump in there. I mean, the whole damn house has got to be haunted by now.


"Breaking Bad: Half Measures (#3.12)" (2010)
Jesse Pinkman: [about drug dealers using kids to sell methamphetamine] Hearts and minds, right? Get them young and they'll be yours forever.


"Breaking Bad: Bullet Points (#4.4)" (2011)
Mike: You're on thin ice, you little shithead. You know that?
Jesse Pinkman: You ain't gonna smoke that dude in there. You know how I know? 'cause you went to the trouble of putting a blindfold on him.


"Breaking Bad: Box Cutter (#4.1)" (2011)
Jesse Pinkman: At least we all understand each other now.
Walter White: What do you mean?
Jesse Pinkman: I mean, him and us, we get it.
[Makes cutting motion on his neck]
Jesse Pinkman: We're all on the same page.
Walter White: And what page is that?
Jesse Pinkman: The one that says if I can't kill you, you'll sure as shit wish you were dead.


"Breaking Bad: No Más (#3.1)" (2010)
Jesse Pinkman: You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White.
Walter White: And what exactly does that mean?
Jesse Pinkman: I learned it in rehab. It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.
Walter White: And who are you?
Jesse Pinkman: I'm the bad guy.


"Breaking Bad: Mandala (#2.11)" (2009)
Saul Goodman: How is your inventory?
Jesse Pinkman: 38 and some...
Saul Goodman: 38 what? Ounces? Grams?
Jesse Pinkman: Pounds.
Walter White: You said "make hay while the sun shines".
Saul Goodman: Guys, why the long faces? You're sitting in a gold mine.
Saul Goodman: A gold mine we cannot sell.


"Breaking Bad: Felina (#5.16)" (2013)
Walter White: [while Jesse has a gun pointed at him] Do it. You want this.
Jesse Pinkman: Say the words! Say YOU want this! Nothing happens until I hear you say it.
Walter White: I want this.
Jesse Pinkman: [notices blood visible from Walt's chest, drops the gun] Then do it yourself.


"Breaking Bad: Down (#2.4)" (2009)
Jesse Pinkman: Yo, I get I shouldn't call, but I'm in a situation over here, and I need my money.
Walter H. White: I just gave you $600.
Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?