Captain Hammer
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Quotes for
Captain Hammer (Character)
from "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" (2008)

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"Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog: Act III (#1.3)" (2008)
Captain Hammer: [singing] Don't worry if it's hard, if you're not a friggin 'tard you will prevail.

Captain Hammer: [after Death Ray explodes] Oh, I'm in pain. I think this is what pain feels like.

Captain Hammer: Give my regards to St Peter... or whoever does his job... but in hell.

Captain Hammer: It may not feel too classy, begging just to eat / But you know who does that? Lassie, and she always gets a treat / So you wonder what your part is / Because you're homeless and depressed / But home is where the heart is / So your real home's in your chest / Everyone's a hero in their own way / Everyone's got villains they must face / They're not as cool as mine / But folks you know it's fine to know your place / Everyone's a hero in their own way / In their own not-that-heroic way / So I thank my girlfriend Penny / Yeah, we totally had sex / She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex / There's the deltoids of compassion, there's the abs of being kind / It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds / Everyone's a hero in their own way / Everyone's got something they can do / Get up go out and fly / Especially that guy, he smells like poo / Everyone's a hero in their own way / You and you and mostly me and you / I'm poverty's new sheriff / And I'm bashing in the slums / A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums / Everybody! / Everyone's a hero in their own way / Everyone can blaze a hero's trail / Don't worry if it's hard, if you're not a friggin 'tard you will prevail / Everyone's a hero in their own way / Everyone's a hero in their...

Captain Hammer: [singing] This is so nice / Just might sleep with the same girl twice / They say it's better the second time / They say you get to do the weird stuff!
Groupie #1, Groupie #2, Groupie #3: [singing] We do the weird stuff!

Captain Hammer: [singing] Everyone's a hero in their own way / Everyone can blaze a hero's trail / Don't worry if it's hard / If you're not a friggin' 'tard you will prevail!

Captain Hammer: I hate the homeless
[pause]
Captain Hammer: ... ness problem that plagues our city.

Captain Hammer: Give my regards to St. Peter- or you know, whoever has his job... but in Hell.


"Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog: Act I (#1.1)" (2008)
Captain Hammer: Stand back everyone, nothing here to see. Just imminent danger and in the middle of it me. Yes, Captain Hammer's here, hair blowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertise. Man's got to do what a man's got to do. Seems destiny ends with me saving you. The only doom that's looming is in loving me to death. I'll give you a second to catch your breath.

Captain Hammer: It's curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.


"Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog: Act II (#1.2)" (2008)
Captain Hammer: You've got a little crush, don't you, Doc. Well, that's gonna make this hard to hear. See, later, I'm gonna take little Penny back to my place. Show her the command center, Hammercycle, maybe even the Hamjet. You think she likes me now? I'm gonna give Penny the night of her life, just because you want her. And I get what you want. See, Penny's giving it up, she's giving it up hard. Cause she's with Captain Hammer. And these...
[Hammer holds up his fists]
Captain Hammer: ...are not the hammer.
[Hammer walks out of the shot momentarily then walks back in]
Captain Hammer: The hammer is my penis.