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Quotes for
Joe (Character)
from The Stöned Age (1994)

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The Stöned Age (1994)
Joe: Technically you're his chicks.

Dad: Where do you get your values? From that stinking heavy metal music you listen to day and night?
Joe: Yeah, that's it, man. It's all the music! You know everything is just fine until we just listen to a couple of heavy metal albums. Then we get all fucked up!

Buffalo Chick #1: It's a party.
Joe: Who's it gonna be, just you chicks?
Buffalo Chick #1: Yeah. We could play... submarine.
Hubbs: Actually ladies we gotta get going.
Buffalo Chick #2: Where you going?
Hubbs: Just cruisin' man.

Tack: What chick's gonna wanna go out with a krater face?
Joe: Your face will clear up some day man, and who knows, maybe you can meet a chick with an acne problem too. Then you two will have something in common.
Tack: I don't want no chicks with zits, I want fine chicks!

Joe: Nothing happened, man. She didn't even give me head.

Joe: Shit man! I gotta get that chic's phone number. How do you spell Weijikowokawitz anyway?
Hubbs: What are you gonna fucking call her man? That's the whole point. Shes from up north! You never have to see her again! You didnt even pork her, thank god!
Joe: Hubbs, man. You just dont get it, do you? Man, I was digging on that chic!
Hubbs: What did she have like a great personality? Ahahaha! You're thinking too much pussy!

Lanie: [takes hit from pipe, coughs] This is fuckin' skank weed!
Joe: You can still catch a buzz off of it.

[Crump's brother is kicking down the door and Joe and Hubbs run to hide in the kitchen]
Hubbs: Oh man... Crump's brother is going to kick our ass bad. But it was worth it, eh dude? That chick was rad.
Joe: Uh... yeah, man.
Hubbs: What? You blew it? You didn't go for it?
[Joe looks away]
Hubbs: I should kick your ass myself.

Joe: It still ain't cool to just worm his chicks, man.
Hubbs: What the fuck, Joe! Is that fuckin' eyeball lookin' at you again?

Lanie: Who's Tack?
Joe: Just some dude.

Jill Wajakawakawitz: Guy kinda reminds me of Mondo Man.
Lanie: Yeah kind of.
Joe: Who the fuck is Mondo Man?
Jill Wajakawakawitz: Oh, he's just some dude.

Joe: What about the bikini you bought her so you could watch her out by the pool and sport wood?

Joe: So you got a plan tonight, or what?
Hubbs: Fuck yeah, I got a plan, man. I got a radically hellacious plan! First, we get a shitload of tall cans, right? Them, an eight-ball... no... quarter O-Z. Fifth of Jack, just to take the edge off, then we spark up the thick, burlacious ganja-bud, get those chicks all horn-dogged out.
Joe: Hubbs, man, we're just gonna do what we always do. We'll drive around like dumb-fucks, then we're gonna wind up at that Stop 'n Go place, man, eatin' those Renaldo's burritos.
Hubbs: Shut up, Joe, fag! You go an attitude problem, man!

Joe: Shit! My Tape! This fuckin' machine just scarfed my tape!
Hubbs: Big shit, man, put in another.
[Don't fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult begins playing]
Hubbs: What the fuck is that?
Joe: It's "Don't fear the Reaper", man.
Hubbs: Hey, you're not playin' that pussy shit in the Blue Torpedo, man. I told you!
Joe: It's Blue Oyster Cult.
Hubbs: I don't give a fuck if it's Blue Oyster Cult, man. It's a pussy song!
Joe: If it's B.O.C., how can it be pussy?
Hubbs: Lemme' tell you something, every band puts out at least one pussy song so they can find out who the faggots are. Now, take it out!
Joe: Fuck you, man!
Hubbs: Fuck me?
[slaps Joe in the chest and puts him in a head lock]
Joe: OW!
Hubbs: It's a pussy song! Say it! It's a pussy song, huh, faggot? Say it! Say it, it's a pussy song!
Joe: Okay, it's a pussy song!
[Joe takes the tape out]
Hubbs: I told you it's a pussy song!

Joe: Check it out, man. It's Tack.
Hubbs: [laughs] The Tackmeister? That fuckin' pud! Hang a loogie on him!
Joe: All right.
[Joe rolls down the window and spits at Tack, hitting Tack square in the jaw]
Tack: AW!
Hubbs: Tack, you cack!
Tack: Hey, man, I got some chicks!
Hubbs: [brings car to screeching halt] Tack's got some chicks?
Tack: Man, why'd you guys spit at me?
Hubbs: [slaps Joe on the shoulder] Joe, fag! You spit on my buddy Tack, man!
Joe: You fuckin' told me to!
[Hubbs slaps Joe again]

Officer Dean: You guys probably think I'm a real butthead. You think I didn't want to taste a beer when I was your age? Hell, they used to call me "Dixie Cup" Dean.
Joe: Wow... that's... cool.