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Quotes for
Egghead (Character)
from "Batman" (1966)

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"Batman: The Yegg Foes in Gotham (#2.14)" (1966)
Egghead: [about Bruce Wayne] The man has a mind full of trivia, it's inconceivable that he could be Batman.

Egghead: Well, gentlemen, when we capture the caped crime crushers, we will remove their masks and eggspose their faces to the public. Then they'll be out of business.
[looks straight at the camera]
Egghead: I wonder who they are?

Batman: Foolish, evil man.
Robin: You're going to end up where all broken eggshells end up: in the garbage!
Egghead: Give me a break, Batman?
Batman: You'll be dealt with, fairly. In a court of law.

Miss Bacon: Is this the end of the book, Eggy-pooh?
Egghead: The end, period. I guess I laid an egg.

Egghead: Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!

Egghead: Why don't we inveterate Gotham City's sewer system?
Batman: Just the right place for a rat like you.
Robin: The only place you will be going is up the river.

"Batman: An Egg Grows in Gotham (#2.13)" (1966)
Egghead: [chuckles wickedly] Eggscelent. I might even go as far as to say: eggsquisite.
[more chuckles]

Egghead: Well, I have great eggspectations for our relationship, Chief. I'll tell you what I'll give you as an added bonus: you may have the import eggsport concession for all genuine American Indian blankets made in Japan.
Chief Screaming Chicken: Oh, you are one heck of fine pale face.

Egghead: I for one am eggshausted. It's been a trying day and I must rest my fantastic brain for tonight.
Batman: [as he lays down, Batman & Robin enter] There'll be no rest for the wicked today, Egghead.
Robin: Boy, do you guys have egg on your faces!
Batman: All the king's horses and all the king's men won't be able to put you together again.
Miss Bacon: Oh, Batman, you're so lyrical.

Tim Tyler: What do you want from me, Egghead? I am just a poor major league baseball-team-owner.
Miss Bacon: How 'bout season tickets? I love halfbacks.
Egghead: How eggsasperating.

Egghead: Long ago my superior intellect deduced that Batman must be a person who was a millionaire and didn't have to work, because crimefighting is such an eggspensive hobby.
Miss Bacon: Which one is it, Eggy-baby?
Egghead: Please, please, Miss Bacon. All of you are approximately the right age, in your early thirties, but I have eliminated you, Mr. Tyler, because you are lefthanded. No, the Caped Crusader is not portsider, and you, Mr. Savage, are out because of your accent. So aside from a couple of aging rock-and-roll singers, you, Mr. Wayne, are the only Gotham city millionaire who is athletically inclined with eggsessive agility. Therefore, you must be Batman!

"Batman: The Ogg and I (#3.8)" (1967)
Commissioner Gordon: You two will never get away with this!
Egghead: Oh really, Commissioner, I wish someone would write you a new line, that one is getting so tired.

Gilligan: Hello, Chief. The usual?
Chief O'Hara: Right, Gilligan. A large milk and a hot pastrami.
Egghead: Never mind the pastrami. Chief O'Hara would like half a dozen eggs. How do you like them, Chief?
[sits down]
Chief O'Hara: Why you!
[raises fist]
Egghead: Now, one hand on me and you'll never see your dear Commissioner again, Chief.
Chief O'Hara: You win, Egghead.
Egghead: Now how did you say you liked your eggs?
Chief O'Hara: [grumbling] Scrambled.
Egghead: Hmm. Bring Chief O'Hara half a dozen - no, make it a dozen scrambled eggs.

Egghead: Don't tell me that you're falling for this cowled clown?
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Maybe, maybe not. We are seeing.
Egghead: But you are engaged to me! How dare you two-time me. And especially with this caped creep!
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: How dare you tell me what to do, me Olga, Queen of the Tsarovian Cossacks.
Egghead: Olga, Schmolga! You'd still be washing dishes in that run down Bessarovian restaurant if it wasn't for me!

Egghead: What's this? You've captured the Caped Crusaders! Olga, you egg-squisite, diabolical genius!
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: But of course!
Egghead: How did you do it?
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: By underhand trick, what else?

"Batman: The Ogg Couple (#3.15)" (1967)
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Cossack without victory dance is... is like egg without salt
[mimics salting Egghead's head]
Egghead: Well, that hits me where I live.

Bank Manager: Egghead!
Egghead: Well who did you expect, Batman? Where are Olga and her Cossacks? Eggsplain!

Egghead: Oh, protect me, Batgirl. That monster is going to shoot me.
Batgirl: You're not so brave when your henchmen aren't around, are you, Egghead?
Egghead: Oh, I never claimed to be brave, Batgirl. No, I'm, I'm clever and crafty but I'm a complete coward.

Egghead: Oh, please, you can't ask me to rat on my friends.
Batgirl: Oh, yes I can, and you'd better start ratting fast.
Egghead: Do you eggspect me, a, a, a respected arch-criminal to, to fink on my friends like a, like a common stool pigeon?
Batgirl: Of course.
Egghead: Alright, I'll do it.

"Batman: How to Hatch a Dinosaur (#3.9)" (1967)
Egghead: What are you doing, Olga, light of my life, my little future wife?
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Forget rhymski!

Batgirl: That was a slimy trick, you rotten egg!
Egghead: Of course, Batgirl, I have a patent on slimy tricks.
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Wait a minute, Eggski. Where is my KeBadushka?
Egghead: Batman? He was probably too afraid of me to show up. Only these foolhardy youngsters are in politic enough to do that.
Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Does not sound like Badushka I know, huh.
Egghead: That's because you don't know him as well as I do, Olga. At heart he is a coward in the eggstreme
Robin: [being restrained by Cossacks] Batman has more courage in his little finger than you have in your whole cowardly body, you...
Egghead: [shouting] Quiet, Wonder Midget, or I'll have you cut off permanently!