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: Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?
: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? Bianca
: I think you can in Europe.
: You're asking me out? That's so cute! What's your name again?
: Do you know what happens at proms? Bianca
: Yes. We'll dance, we'll kiss, we'll come home. It's not quite the crisis situation you imagine. Walter Stratford
: Kissing? That's what you think happens? I've got news for you. Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day long. Bianca
: Can we, for two seconds, ignore the fact that you're severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy? Walter Stratford
: What's normal? Those damn... Dawson's river kids sleeping in each other's beds and what not? Bianca
: Daddy that is so not... Walter Stratford
: I've got news for you. I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. Mamma didn't raise no fool.
: You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.
: There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack. Chastity
: But I love my Skechers. Bianca
: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.
: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father
] Shoulda used the window! Bianca
: Hi Daddy! Walter Stratford
: Hi... where're we going? Bianca
: Well, if you must know... a small study group of friends. Walter Stratford
: Otherwise known as an orgy? Chastity
: Mr. Stratford, it's just a party! Walter Stratford
: And hell is just a sauna.
: You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know? Bianca
: I happen to like being adored, thank you!
: Where did you come from? Planet "Loser"? Kat Stratford
: As opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?
: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me? Bianca
: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"? Walter Stratford
: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father". Bianca
: She did not. Walter Stratford
: Well, that's what she would have said if she wasn't so doped up!
: People expect me to be there! Walter Stratford
: Kat's not going, you're not going! Bianca
: Why can't you be normal? Kat Stratford
: Define normal. Bianca
: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal. Walter Stratford
: What's a Bogey Lowenstein? Kat Stratford
: Bogey's party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots at our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless... Bianca
: ...meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey
] How is it possible that I did not know about this? Kat Stratford
: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!
: [holding up headshots
] Which one do you like better? Bianca
: Umm, I think I like the white shirt better. Joey
: Yeah, it's-it's more... Bianca
: Pensive? Joey
: Damn, I was going for thoughtful.
: Can we for two seconds ignore the fact that you're severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy? Walter Stratford
: What's normal? Those damn Dawson's River kids, sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot?
: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates? Walter Stratford
: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
: You suck! Kat Stratford
: [Mocking Bianca
] You suck!
: Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date? Kat Stratford
: I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner.
: I know who you wanna bend the rules for. It's that hot-rod Joey. Bianca
: What's a hot-rod?
[both speaking french
: May I offer you a parsnip? Bianca
: No, you may not. Cameron
: Where is my uncle's pencil? Bianca
: I don't know. Maybe it is up your ass?
[after Joey punches Cameron, Bianca punches Joey in the face
: Shit, Bianca, I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow! Bianca
: That's for making my date bleed!
[punches him again
: That's for my sister!
[knees him in the crotch
: And that's for me!
: joey never told you that we went out did he? Bianca
: yeah ok...
] Kat Stratford
: in ninth, for a month Bianca
: why? Kat Stratford
] because he was like... such a babe
: Kat, I need your help. Kat Stratford
: Finally. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The next step is making you a brunette again.
: [about Chastity
] Kat was right. For a popular girl, she is a teenage Long Duk Dong. Cameron
: I'm sorry, who? Bianca Stratford
: The dictator of North Korea.
: You girls are late. Where were you? Bianca Stratford
: We were having sex with the soccer team. It took longer than expected.
: I thought I'd learn the routine because, God forbid, someone gets sick or hurt or pregnant. Thanks a lot, Juno!
: [after Walter suggests to Bianca to have a car wash for a fundraiser
] Great idea, Dad! Half-naked cheerleaders, wet and soapy, standing on a street asking for money. Dr. Walter Stratford
: No car wash. Bianca Stratford
: Daddy. Dr. Walter Stratford
: No car wash!
: [to Kat
] You've ruined my chances of being popular! Kat Stratford
: I'm sorry, but that girl sucks. She's a teenaged Kim Jong II. Bianca Stratford
: Speak English, you show-off! Kat Stratford
: Kim Jong II, the dictator of North Korea!
: Dad, you realize we know where babies come from, right? Walter Stratford
: Do you realize where they come out? Trust me. Not pretty. Kat Stratford
, Bianca Stratford
: [to Bianca
] We're going to high school, not the Academy Awards. Bianca Stratford
: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
: [to Chastity
] Great speech. Very inspiring. Chastity Church
: Yeah, but no one cried.
: So, you snuck out of the house to go to a party, but you had the wrong address. How does that humiliation taste? Bianca Stratford
: Like your stupid soy burgers.
: Bianca, calm down. I'll take you to the party... and I'll just wait for you in the car outside. Bianca Stratford
: Sure, Dad, why don't you carry me in a BabyBjörn?
: When I go out, I have to file the flight plans with the FAA. But she gets to go out without questions asked? Walter Stratford
: [to Kat
] Gonna drink? Kat Stratford
: No. Walter Stratford
: Drugs? Kat Stratford
: No. Walter Stratford
: Sex? Kat Stratford
: Gross. Walter Stratford
: [to Bianca
: I have a big fat favour to ask. Chastity Church
: Uh - I don't respond to fat. Bianca Stratford
: Okay, small skinny favour then.
: But you're gay! Cameron James
: I'm not gay! At all! In fact, you're gayer than I am because you kissed a girl. Bianca Stratford
: That was for money.