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: [to Clark, about Ellen
] Very special lady. Clark Griswold
: That's why I entered into the sacred bond of marriage with her.
: Ellen, I've always been a moral man. But my resolve is melting in the light of your blinding smile. Ellen Griswold
: Um, maybe you're just hungry, would you like some more pasta?
: [walking into the impersonation hall noticing the real Wayne Newton onstage, whom she thinks is an impersonator, not sporting a mustache
] This guy doesn't even have a mustache! How did he get out of Wayne Newton impersonator school without a mustache? Wayne Newton
: [stops singing
] Hold it, fellas, hold it. Ma'am, I'm sorry if my singing is interrupting your conversation. Roseanne
: Well, not as sorry as I am! Wayne Newton
: Ma'am, I'm going to ask you politely to please take your seat. I'm entertaining! Roseanne
: Oh, somebody has filled your head with LIES! Dan Conner
: Honey, it really IS Wayne Newton! Roseanne
: Yeah right, and I'm Lola Falana, Dan! Wayne Newton
: Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Falana. My name is Wayne Newton. Roseanne
: No, MY name is Wayne Newton! Nancy 'Lynn' Bartlett
: No, my name is Wayne Newton! Dan Conner
] Oh God, oh God, oh God! Wayne Newton
: Ladies, I'm glad you're having such a good time, because that's what we're all here for, so why don't you sit back, relax and enjoy the song? Roseanne
: Why, are you going to get somebody else to sing it?