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Quotes for
Uncle Teddy (Character)
from "Rescue Me" (2004)

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"Rescue Me: Devil (#3.1)" (2006)
Uncle Teddy: Goddammit Jerry, where the hell are my handcuffs? Jesus, what are you, takin' a nap? I could'a killed another five people in here already! Come on, let's go.

Tommy Gavin: How ya doin'?
Uncle Teddy: I lost another five pounds, 83 total.
Tommy Gavin: Wow.
Uncle Teddy: Yeah. This murder 1's the best goddamn diet I ever been on.

Uncle Teddy: Murder one's the best diet I've ever been on!

Uncle Teddy: [from jail cell] Lost another 5 pounds. 83 so far.
Tommy Gavin: Wow.
Uncle Teddy: Yeah, this Murder One diet is the way to go.

Uncle Teddy: How's your dick?
Tommy Gavin: Out of practice.


"Rescue Me: Justice (#2.13)" (2005)
Tommy's Dad: I'm an old man. So they put me in jail. That could be two weeks for all we know.
Uncle Teddy: That could be one week.
Tommy's Dad: Thanks, a**hole.
Uncle Teddy: Look, you're not doing this, if this goes down, I'm the shooter.
Tommy's Dad: I had first dibs.
Tommy Gavin: Did you just say dibs?

Johnny Gavin: I hope to Christ he doesn't fall off the wagon.
Uncle Teddy: I wouldn't blame the guy if he drove the wagon right through the liquor store window and drank the entire inventory.