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Quotes for
Douglas Reynholm (Character)
from "The IT Crowd" (2006)

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"The IT Crowd: Men Without Women (#2.6)" (2007)
Douglas: Damn that sorcerer! 20 gold pieces and I'm wankered on Rohypnol!

Douglas: Pucker up boys. It's hammer time!

Douglas: Her sweet voice wakes a mighty tiger behind my fly.

Douglas: [Looking at Jen] You looked exactly like Melissa there. My wife. She died. There's not a day goes past when I don't think of her. I'll never forget our final moments
[Voice in Douglas' head 'Help me, my husband is trying to kill me']

"The IT Crowd: Tramps Like Us (#3.3)" (2008)
Douglas: [Douglas gets electrocuted] HELLS TEETH! They're just cars! I'm not aroused! God DAMN these electric sex pants!

Douglas: [to Moss] You there, computer man. Fix my pants.
Moss: I beg your pardon.
Douglas: Pull down my trousers and do your job.

Douglas: God-damn these electric sex pants!

"The IT Crowd: From Hell (#3.1)" (2008)
Douglas: Conrad Black, the first rich person to go do prison in over 300 years.

Douglas: Wow, my grandfather's old service revolver. To think of all the deserters he shot with this.

Douglas: [Sat at his office desk] I don't think I've ever looked in this draw... wow! A Gun.

"The IT Crowd: The Internet Is Coming (#5.0)" (2013)
Douglas Reynholm: I wasn't always this way. There was a time when I was just like you. But then I discovered the secret. And, Ross, I'm going to tell you what that secret is. But you must keep it to yourself.
Maurice Moss: I will take my ears to the grave.
Douglas Reynholm: Two words. Women's slacks

Maurice Moss: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.
Douglas Reynholm: [laughing] Book recommendation? I can't read. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but women's slacks give me the confidence I need to survive in a tough business world. They're lighter, airier and less constrictive than men's trousers. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't make me a transvestite.

"The IT Crowd: The Speech (#3.4)" (2008)
Douglas: [after being punched by April, who used to be a man] You bastard!

Douglas: Well, I'm the boss... Head Honcho. El Numero Uno. Mr. Big. The Godfather. Lord of the Rings. The Bourne... Identity. Er... Taxi Driver. Jaws. I forgot the question quite a while back. Who are you, again?

"The IT Crowd: Moss and the German (#2.3)" (2007)
Douglas: Ah, Jen. Good. Can I have a word with you?
Jen: No, can't. Busy. Very busy. And I don't want to go for a ride in the helicopter.
Douglas: OK, OK. That wasn't what I was going to ask actually.
Jen: Oh?
Douglas: Yes, it was something... work-related.
Jen: What department is this?
Douglas: [confused] Sorry?
Jen: If it's work-related, you'll know what department this is. What department is this?
Douglas: [looks around at Moss and Roy] Some sort of... homosexual department?

"The IT Crowd: Jen the Fredo (#4.1)" (2010)
Jen: Mr Reynholm, I dont need to remind you of the report that denounced Reynholm Industries as an institutionally sexist organisation.
Douglas: Now you hold on a minute, sugar tits! Everyone saw through that report. I even got that award off those feminists. The one shaped like the ice cream fellow.
Jen: That's a "Shithead of the Year" award.

"The IT Crowd: Return of the Golden Child (#2.2)" (2007)
Douglas: Ah! The IT-department. Run by a dynamic go-getter, a genius and a man from Ireland.