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Quotes for
Yetta Rosenberg (Character)
from "The Nanny" (1993)

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"The Nanny: The Whine Cellar (#2.10)" (1994)
Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: It's your daughter's 50th birthday.
Yetta Rosenberg: 50? She's got brassieres older than that! Why if she's 50, I'm... what do you know? My daughter's 50.

Sylvia Fine: [loudly, outside] I wonder if Fran is home. I will go inside and see.
Everyone: Surprise!
Yetta Rosenberg: [at the kitchen door] Will you wait until she comes in?
Sylvia Fine: [feigning surprise] A birthday party, I had no idea! Look at me!
[shows off her red sparkling dress]
Sylvia Fine: We were on our way to see Shawshank Redemption!

Yetta Rosenberg: Fifty? Please! She's got brassieres older than 50! If she's 50, then I'm... what do ya know? She's 50!

Yetta Rosenberg: Schmooie, come here. I'll introduce you to your Uncle Stanley
[whispers]
Yetta Rosenberg: just play along. Stan look, Schmooie! You haven't seen him since he was this big. He's being Bar Mitzvahed while you're on your cruise.
Uncle Stanley: Sorry we're going to miss it. This is from me and your Aunt Cookie
[gives him cash]
Uncle Stanley: .
Brighton Sheffield: Thank you very much!
Yetta Rosenberg: [to Brighton] We split everything 50/50.


"The Nanny: Dope Diamond (#3.3)" (1995)
Yetta Rosenberg: [to Sylvia about Fran, while they're collectively at a therapy session] Don't nag the kid all the time. She should get married when she wants to, not just 'cause she got knocked up by the seltzer man like I...
[hesitantly, when she sees that everyone is looking at her with shocked faces]
Yetta Rosenberg: ...like I heard people do.

Therapist: So ladies, what brings you to therapy?
Fran Fine: I came because my mother has an obsession with me getting married.
Sylvia Fine: I came because my daughter has a delusion that I have an obsession.
Yetta Rosenberg: I came because they brought me and I don't know how to get home.

Sylvia Fine: [in therapy] At one point, I believe that a daughter has to stop blaming her mother for everything.
Sylvia Fine: [to Yetta] This is your fault!
Yetta Rosenberg: Me?
Sylvia Fine: Yeah. You're the one who kept pushing me to have children. They're nothing but heartache.
Yetta Rosenberg: That's right, Cookie. It's payback time!


"The Nanny: Smoke Gets in Your Lies (#1.1)" (1993)
Maxwell Sheffield: Brighton was caught smoking.
Yetta Rosenberg: Smoking? Bad!
Brighton Sheffield: But you smoke.
Yetta Rosenberg: Me it doesn't effect, I'm like a horse. But you know what smoking can do to you? Come, let's meet Ethel, phlegm in a hair net!
[drags Brighton off]
Brighton Sheffield: Oh no, not Ethel! Not Ethel!
[to Maxwell and Fran]
Brighton Sheffield: I swear I'll never smoke again! Oh God!

Fran Fine: I'm your granddaughter, Fran.
Yetta Rosenberg: Oh Franny, nice to meet you.
Fran Fine: One nice thing about senility, you're always meeting new people.


"The Nanny: The Nanny Behind the Man (#2.18)" (1995)
Yetta Rosenberg: Business is important. I, myself am an entremanure.

Maxwell Sheffield: [referring to Yetta after a successful business dinner] She was quite the little vixen!
Fran Fine: Yetta... you didn't drop anything under the table and go look for it, did ya?
Yetta Rosenberg: One time. Just to see if I still had it.
Maxwell Sheffield: [stunned] Oh God. That was you?
Yetta Rosenberg: That was YOU?
Fran Fine: Do you two want to be alone?


"The Nanny: Me and Mrs. Joan (#4.6)" (1996)
Yetta: Anyone see "Babe?" How'd they get that pig to learn all those lines?

Mrs. Joan Sheffield: Where did you find this delicious shrimp?
Yetta: Oh, I came with her.
Mrs. Joan Sheffield: No dear, I meant the crustacean.
Yetta: Oh, she's my daughter.


"The Nanny: Mommy and Mai (#5.7)" (1997)
Fran Fine: [excitedly about a letter Fran just received] Ah, look Val. It's from Mai Ling.
Yetta Rosenberg: Who's Mai Ling?
Sylvia Fine: Oy, please.
Sylvia Fine: [about Fran and Val] These two meshugganas adopted an orphan in high school for seventeen cents a day.
Yetta Rosenberg: What a steal. Bell peppers are four ninety-nine a pound.


"The Nanny: Maggie's Wedding (#6.19)" (1999)
Yetta Rosenberg: Thank you for inviting me to your wedding Maggie.
C.C. Babcock: Yetta, I'm... no.
Yetta Rosenberg: Did you hear about Miss Babcock and the male maid?
C.C. Babcock: [stunned] What are you talking about?
Yetta Rosenberg: Well, Franny and her husband walked in on them while they were doing the horizontal hora.
C.C. Babcock: Where? Kitchen? Closet? Stairway? Limo? Walmart?
Yetta Rosenberg: Walmart, huh? If they dig the danger of getting caught, they should try the aluminum sheds at Home Depot.
C.C. Babcock: [later, on the phone] Niles, they saw us! No. No. No. No, what does it matter where? The important thing is when you get back, I need to pick up something at Home Depot.


"The Nanny: First Date (#5.2)" (1997)
Fran Fine: [in the ladies room] I need a disguise!
Fran Fine: [sudden inspiration] Yetta!
Yetta Rosenberg: [from inside a toilet stall] What?
Fran Fine: When are you coming out of there?
Yetta Rosenberg: I can't decide whether to vote for Nixon or Kennedy.
Fran Fine: [barging into the stall] Gimme that wig, old woman!
Yetta Rosenberg: [pokes her head out after a brief struggle] Oh my god! It's just like Donna Duke and Susan Hayward in the Valley of the Dolls!


"The Nanny: The Producers (#6.16)" (1999)
Val Toriello: Would you care for a doughnut, Yetta?
Yetta Rosenberg: [looking at the platter of doughnuts] None of these have bones in 'em, do they?
Val Toriello: No!
Val Toriello: [rethinking her answer] The bear claws might.


"The Nanny: The Finale: Part 1 (#6.21)" (1999)
Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: So Sylvia, what did you and Morty do on your first anniversary?
Sylvia Fine: We went to Puerto Rico.
Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: What about you, Yetta?
Yetta Rosenberg: We fled Poland.


"The Nanny: The Nose Knows (#4.15)" (1997)
Yetta Rosenberg: [about seeing Dr. Miller pick his nose] What's your shrink trying to do - pick his own brains?


"The Nanny: Everybody Needs a Bubby (#2.3)" (1994)
Fran: I thought you told Maggie to "go for it."
Yetta Rosenberg: That's not Maggie?
Fran: No, that's Grace!
Yetta Rosenberg: Now I'm confused...
Fran: Grace is the little one, Schmooie is the boy, the tall one is Maggie.
Yetta Rosenberg: What, hot pants? Tell her to go for it? What am I, senile? Your husband would kick me out of the house!


"The Nanny: Canasta Masta (#2.16)" (1995)
Fran Fine: Brighton got hurt at the batting cage.
Sylvia Fine: Those things could put out an eye.
Fran Fine: He wishes.
[Brighton limps in, indicating he was hit in the crotch]
Yetta Rosenberg: You want Grandma to kiss the booboo?
Fran Fine: [to Sylvia] Is it any wonder I already got one kid in therapy?


"The Nanny: Educating Fran (#5.9)" (1997)
Yetta Rosenberg: Read me my horoscope.
Fran Fine: Oh, OK. Ah, "Scorpio. Tomorrow, you will awaken..."
Yetta Rosenberg: [excitedly] Whoo-hoo!


"The Nanny: I'm Pregnant (#6.6)" (1998)
Sylvia Fine: Men who marry the Fine women tend to die young.
Fran Sheffield: Why is that?
Yetta Rosenberg: 'cause they want to?


"The Nanny: Where's Fran? (#3.16)" (1996)
[Yetta is escorted into the Sheffield house by a police officer]
Maxwell Sheffield: Yetta, what happened?
Policeman: [motioning the crazy sign] We found her wandering around on Queen's Boulevard. She says she lives here.
Yetta Rosenberg: [whispering to Maxwell] Play along. It's cheaper than a cab.


"The Nanny: The Boca Story (#4.25)" (1997)
Sylvia Fine: [talking to Fran about wall decor] Could you not vomit looking at this?
Yetta Rosenberg: [sarcastically] Oh and this is hip!
Sylvia Fine: At least it's more appetizing!
Yetta Rosenberg: [sarcastically] Yeah, you need more appetite!


"The Nanny: Curse of the Grandmas (#2.5)" (1994)
Grace Sheffield: [telling Yetta a story] Where was I? Oh yeah... no wait... oh yeah... no wait...
Yetta Rosenberg: You see sweetie? You're not a curse, I'm not dead
Yetta Rosenberg: [to Fran]
Yetta Rosenberg: and I wish I was.


"The Nanny: The Baby Shower (#6.20)" (1999)
[Libby the psychic is giving Yetta a reading]
Yetta Rosenberg: So tell me, where do you see me twenty years from now?
Libby: [slightly confused, as she starts the reading] I see you with a man in New York, and this young guy in Paris, and a jazz saxophonist in Chicago.
Yetta Rosenberg: [excited] That sounds good.
Libby: [suddenly looking up in surprise] Are you an organ donor?


"The Nanny: Fair Weather Fran (#5.8)" (1997)
Sylvia Fine: Ma, when you told us that you were engaged, you neglected to tell us that he was black!
Yetta Rosenberg: [to Sammy] You're black? No wonder.