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: [to Jordan Catalano
] It's like you created your own prison and now you have to exist in it.
: [for Jordan to put in Angela's locker
] Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain, and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down; you could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano
: [Brian is mournfully watching Angela and Jordan
] Oh, so they're back together, huh? Brian
: Yup. Of course, she's still going to die someday. We're all going to die.
: This is a joke right? That... that the two of you...
: Oh god... I can't believe I fell for it. It's obviously a total lie! Brian
: No I meant every word... Angela
: [pauses, shocked
] I mean... the person who wrote it meant every word... probably. Angela
: Brian? Brian
: I didn't write it! Angela
: But, Brian, you said... Brian
: Forget what I said! Forget this whole conversation! Angela
] How? Brian
] You like it though? It made you... happy? Angela
: [nodding slightly
] Yeah... Brian
: 'Cause that's probably all that really matters. Angela
: [emotional pause
] To who? Brian
: To, you know... the person... who wrote it. Angela
: [is overcome by emotion; can't do anything but continue looking at Brian
: I blew it. Brian
: Wait, is this the story or? Jordan
: Forget the story. I can't think about some crappy story. My life sucks too much. Brian
: Yeah, how come? Jordan
: Because she hates me and I deserve it. You know who I mean, right? Brian
: Yeah. Jordan
: Today after Katimski's, I tried to explain to her that I was sorry, or whatever. Brian
: So what happened? Jordan
: Nothing. I didn't know what to say. Brian
: Say you're sorry.
: Wait, you can go up to any girl and get her phone number, yet you're afraid to tell Angela Chase you're sorry? Jordan
: So? Brian
: Nothing, it's just ironic. Jordan
: Well, so what?
: I was so close yesterday, but it wasn't enough. She's like, starved or something. It's gotta be written down so I can't screw it up. Brian
: So, write her a letter.
[Jordan stares at Brian
: No. No! I am not writing a letter to Angela Chase for you. I can't.
: Okay, let me see. That thing about the prison? Brian
: Just beg her forgiveness! I mean, tell her you're scum. That you're more than scum. That you're not fit to lick her shoes.
: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get insulting. Jordan
: Well, what about that other thing? You said your parents always say. Brian
: My parents are psychiatrists, okay! You can't go by them. Jordan
: What kind of wish? Brian
: Unconscious wish to punish you. I mean her. Jordan
: Got it.
: Wait, you actually signed me up? Angela
: I know. In a way it was wrong, but I just have a feeling this is going to be really good. Jordan
: I don't know. Angela
: See, whoever is going to tutor you, their name is next to yours. Jordan
] Brain Krakow? Angela
: Wait, maybe this is a bad idea. Jordan
: No. I mean, if I'm already signed up.
: Are you Brain? Brian
: What do you want, Krakow? Brian
: Nothing, why? Why would I want anything? I just need, like, a favor. Sharon Cherski
: Involving Delia Fisher? Brian
: Involving Jordan Catalano. I was put with him for tutoring. Sharon Cherski
: So? Brian
: So, I would just rather not tutor him. You know? You have someone you're tutoring so could you, like, switch with me? Sharon Cherski
: Why can't you tutor Jordan Catalano? Brian
: I can't discuss it. It just makes me feel like a hypocrite, or something. You know? Sharon Cherski
: Yeah. I do, actually.
: What? Brian
: She would sleep with you. Brian
: Because I gave her my eraser? Jordan
: No. Just, because she would. Go get her number. Brian
] What? How am I supposed to get her number? I just ask her? Ask some girl I don't even know for her phone number? Like, without warning?
[Jordan walks over and gets her number
: So anyway, The Odyssey is, like, this real long book. Right? Brian
: I don't believe this. You, like, do this? This is how you live? Jordan
: So, I really have no background in the stuff you're weak in. So you should probably just, like, re-sign up.
[digs through bag
: Where's my pen? Jordan
: What's that bear? Brian
: Oh... that's just this thing a girl gave me. Jordan
: Oh yeah? Brian
: Look, I think I should tell you that even though I signed up to tutor people, um, I might have to drop out of the program or whatever.
: Finally! An erection from actual, physical contact!
: Well, then I guess it depends on how badly you need wallpaper. Brian
: I'd say... pretty bad.
: There's something about my life. It's just automatically true that nothing actually happens.
: I don't even believe in making plans. Whatever happens, happens. Angela
: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
: I mean, I think about it... all the time, but... Brian
: Wait, you *think* about it all the time? Angela
: Brian! Yeah! Shut up... boys don't have the monopoly on thinking about it. Brian
: They don't? Angela
: My parents have a vibrator. It sounds like a lawnmower.
: Oh, look at me, I'm way cool. I'm off with my way cool friends to sniff floor wax.
: These guys started hitting on us. Brian
: What? Like sexual harassment? Angela
: Like guys.
: Are you demented? You just view everything in terms of sex. Brian
: Not everything!
: All that crap about honesty and truth. What a jerk. He didn't even teach. Jordan
: He did teach! He was the best teacher I ever had.
: Well, he was.
[Rayanne has found handcuffs in Graham and Patty's bedroom and locked herself to their bed
] Rayanne Graff
: Oh Graham, Graham, don't hurt me, master! Or is it the other way around? Graham, that dinner you prepared just wasn't tasty enough.
] Rayanne Graff
: Patty, I've been bad - punish me! Brian Krakow
: This is like so unfunny. Where'd you put the key? What... did you do... with the key? Rayanne Graff
: Hey! Um, where is... I mean, is Tino here?
[Brian shakes head no
: That's uh... I mean, that's Angela's. Brian
: Uh, shouldn't it prove she's 21? Jordan
: So? Brian
: So, according to this she was born yesterday. Jordan
: Why are you here? Brian
: I live here. Jordan
: Is she really from France?
: Wait, nevermind. Just makes sure she gets that, okay? Brian
: [reading to the class
] "My mistress eyes are nothing like the sun. Coral is far more red than her lips' red. If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun. If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damas red and white, but no such roses see I in her cheeks. And some perfumes is there more delight than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound. I grant I never saw a Goddess go. My mistress when she walks treads on the ground, and yet, by Heaven, I think my love as rare as any she belied with false compare."
[addresses the class
] Richard Katimski
: What kind of a girl is Shakespeare describing here? Is she the most beautiful girl? Brian
: No. Richard Katimski
: Is she a Goddess? Physically perfect? The kind of girl who stops traffic when she walks down the street? Brian
] No. Richard Katimski
: So he's not in love with her? Jordan
: Yeah. He is. Richard Katimski
: And why is that? Why is he in love with her? What is it about her? Brian
: That she's not just a fantasy. She's got, like, flaws. She's real. Richard Katimski
: Thank you.
: Nobody's interested in the truth. They only care about what they want to believe. Angela
: If you're so incredibly concerned about the truth, why did you lie about me? Brian
: You didn't even come up! Angela
: Not the gun thing. With Sharon! What you said to her about me and Jordan Catalano. Brian
: What are you talking about? Angela
: I heard her, Brian. You told her terrible things. False things. You lied to her.