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: Oh my God, it's Chad Everett! Paco Ortiz
: I know. Doesn't he look great? Jack Trenton
: It's just makeup. You put enough of that on anybody, they'll look good.
: We need a doctor! Larry Linville
: I'm not a doctor, I just played one on TV!
: Now, how many dependants do you wish to declare? I claim eleven. That's more than the Waltons! Course, they prob'ly don't even pay taxes...
: Oh, but I've made some bad investments too. Diet Scotch. What was I thinking? Drunk people don't care if they're fat!
Nurse Annie Roland
: Now where have you been? I've got work for your convict butt to do. Jack Trenton
: Hey, I'm not here to take orders from you! Nurse Annie Roland
: No, you're here because you were convicted by a jury of your peers.
: The important thing here is that I gave you the rope and you stabbed me in the back with it.
: You know, I'm getting sick and tired of your stupid little game of Bedpans and Broomsticks, Cruella!