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Quotes for
Mustrum Ridcully (Character)
from Hogfather (2006) (TV)

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"Going Postal" (2010)
Ridcully: How many words are here? A million? Two million? What about in the whole building? There must be billions!
Moist Von Lipwig: Only an academic could state the obvious and pass it off as wisdom.

Ridcully: You the type to burn a book, Lipwig?
Moist Von Lipwig: No.
Ridcully: Why?
Moist Von Lipwig: Because you just don't *do* that sort of thing!
Ridcully: Correct. Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time.

Ridcully: Read my lips: Words do not kill! People kill. Wild animals kill. But words... words have a totally different power. They enter in through our eyes and ears and work their way into our souls.

Ridcully: Now, listen, magic is not some workman's tool that you can hire out by the hour.
Lord Vetinari: Just as well, because I wasn't intending to pay you.

Ridcully: [entering Lord Vetinari's office] This had better be important. I'm in the middle of an experiment.
Lord Vetinari: Involving a knife and fork, no doubt.
Ridcully: [sighing] I don't expect a layman to understand the pressures of university life.
Lord Vetinari: Incredible though it may seem, we've found a practical use for one of your magical devices.
Ridcully: Have you?
Lord Vetinari: The object in question is, um...
[Lord Vetinari looks at Drumknott]
Drumknott: An omniscope, my lord.
Lord Vetinari: Enabling us to see things at a distance, I believe.
Ridcully: The omniscope is a highly complex, very unstable piece of equipment.
Lord Vetinari: You mean it doesn't work?
Ridcully: Well...
[stammering]
Ridcully: Relatively speaking, it works.
Lord Vetinari: Excellent. Kindly have it up and running by dawn tomorrow.
Ridcully: Now listen, magic is not some kind of workman's tool that you can hire out by the hour.
Lord Vetinari: Just as well, because I wasn't intending to pay you.
[Drumknott smirks]


Discworld II: Mortality Bytes! (1996) (VG)
Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully: I haven't seen anything this awful since I saw the Dean in the showers.

Bursar: Er, he, he, um... He, he says he's not dead!
Windle Poons: I AM dead. But I'm still bloody ambulatory!
Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully: No, you're not. You're fooling no one but yourself, you know.
Bursar: Hmmm. Well, he, he looks dead.
Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully: [sniffs] Smells dead. Course, he always did though.

Rincewind: Are you sure there's no one else's life you'd like to ruin?
Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully: At the moment, I'm content to merely ruin the life of Assistant Wizard Rincewind. I suppose if pushed, I could try ruining the life of Gardener's Assistant Rincewind... Assistant Street Sweeper Rincewind... Actually, I feel a certain yearning to really come down like a ton of rectangular building things upon a Sewerage Systems Blockage Removal Technician Rincewind!
Rincewind: Um, so that was 3 sticks, mouse's blood, glitter, stench and candles. Right, back in a tick! Or maybe a jiffy!


Hogfather (2006) (TV)
Susan: His name's Bilious. He's the "Oh God" of hangovers. Something nasty's happening tonight. I'm hoping he can tell me what it is, but he's got to be able to think straight first.
Mustrum Ridcully: And you brought him here?