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Quotes for
Prof. Miles Ballard (Character)
from "The Others" (2000)

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"The Others: Mora (#1.13)" (2000)
Prof. Miles Ballard: Thee Old Hag myth is the one where people believed that, ah, witches or hags could assume various forms and ride around on people's chests while they were sleepin'.
Warren Day: Is that... something weird?
Prof. Miles Ballard: Yeah. Yeah, ah, and then they would suck the life out of them.

Dr. Mark Gabriel: Elmer, could these things be summoned or kept away?
[speaking of the Mora creatures]
Elmer Greentree: I suppose.
Dr. Mark Gabriel: I found two of these; each placed under the six-year-old girl's bed.
Elmer Greentree: Appears to be some sort of fetish.
Warren Day: People get off on those?
Prof. Miles Ballard: No, Warren, it's a tribal fetish. It's, ah, a charm used for mystical purposes.
Warren Day: Like my lucky sock?
[Warren pulls out an old sock from a pocket]
Prof. Miles Ballard: No, eh-eh-eh - that's okay. I hope that's not what you feel is mystical.


"The Others: The Ones That Lie in Wait (#1.9)" (2000)
Prof. Miles Ballard: So, it looks like it's just us guys tonight, huh?
Elmer Greentree: It is just the men here, isn't it?
Albert McGonagle: Well, I say we take a rain check on interpreting apocolyptic visions and call up some strippers.
Prof. Miles Ballard: Oh, ah, hey guys - there's a web chat with X-Files shippers tonight; they're gonna discuss whether Mulder and Scully should get married. Huh - you guys wanna log into that?
Warren Day: I'm with Albert.

Prof. Miles Ballard: It's just a case of tampering, guys - some sick bastard put maggots in the pop corn bag, they incubated in the microwave.
Albert McGonagle: Humph.
[Albert huffs, dismissing it]
Prof. Miles Ballard: Well, it's a better explination than demons who lie in wait unable to cross sea salt.
Elmer Greentree: I'm surprised at you, Miles - you're always so anxious to believe.
Prof. Miles Ballard: Well, I'm to afraid to believe this... so I can't.


"The Others: Eyes (#1.3)" (2000)
Elmer Greentree: You know what we should have on our web page, Miles?
[walking over to Miles on the laptop]
Prof. Miles Ballard: Ah, yeah, just a second Elmer...
[fiddling with the laptop]
Elmer Greentree: Bridget Cam?
[looking over his shoulder]
Prof. Miles Ballard: Yeah.
[embarassed]
Elmer Greentree: Um. Perhaps I am inclined to doze off during The Others meetings, but I'm certain she's never been in attendance.
Prof. Miles Ballard: Yeah. Well, Friday night, you know.


"The Others: Life Is for the Living (#1.12)" (2000)
Ellen 'Satori' Polaski: But I saw something I didn't like.
[speaking of dying and coming back to life]
Prof. Miles Ballard: Heaven has a Disney store? Sorry, bad joke.


"The Others: Theta (#1.7)" (2000)
Prof. Miles Ballard: Oh, safety is no accident.