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: Is she coming this way? Rachel Jansen
: Yep. Peter Bretter
: I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.
: I love Hawaii. Sarah Marshall
: Yeah, it's nice, but I think for like a week, tops. Any more than that and I know that I'd go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is a place to escape for people who can't deal with the real world. Rachel Jansen
: Yeah, you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it's such a hard life.
: Awful bloody film. I say, it's just a ridiculous premise. What would happen if your mobile phone killed you? Why would a mobile phone kill anyone? Doesn't make sense. How can a mobile phone have an agenda and kill people... Peter Bretter
: I told her that when she read the script Aldous Snow
: Yeah, you were the voice of reason, mate. Peter Bretter
: I tried to be, but she didn't listen. Aldous Snow
: Going around killing people. A mobile phone, like doing murders. Peter Bretter
: Why couldn't you just take the battery out of the phone? Aldous Snow
: Right. That's it. The battle's over. Peter Bretter
: Yeah, we've won. Aldous Snow
: I hated it. Sarah Marshall
: Well, it's not for everyone, but it... Peter Bretter
: No, it's ridiculous. Here's my favorite scene. Hello?
[Peter feigns death
] Aldous Snow
: Right. I could never happen. Sarah Marshall
: It's a metaphor for addiction to technology. Rachel Jansen
: For society, how we're reliant on technology. I get it. I'm with you. Aldous Snow
: It's a metaphor for a crap movie.
: Oh, come on, Peter. I can see your vagina from here!
: You've got that magic newlywed dust all over you.
: I can see your hoohah!
Dwayne the Bartender
: I don't understand what there is to think about. Rachel Jansen
: Because, Dee... he... Dwayne the Bartender
: She licked the tip. That doesn't count. Rachel Jansen
: Of course it counts, he... Dwayne the Bartender
: He what? He refused a blow job from his ex-girlfriend mid blow job. Do you know what that's like for a man? It's called blue balls, Rachel. This guy's like Gandhi, but better; he likes puppets. I love puppets. I love Fraggle Rock. I love Lamb Chop. I love Elmo, Sesame Street, Burt and Ernie, Snuffleupagus? Fucks my shit UP.
: [Trying to upstage Sarah
] I'm not done yet! Rachel Jansen
: Shut up! Peter Bretter
: [on the phone
] Peter Peter Bretter
: Sarah? Rachel Jansen
: No, Rachel Jansen from the front desk whats going on up there, we're getting calls about a woman crying hysterically Peter Bretter
: Yeah, y'know,I hear it too, it sounds like she's having a tough time, I think its coming from the floor above me Rachel Jansen
: You're on the top floor. Peter Bretter
: I'll try to keep it down.
: I thought I told you to stay on your island! Ray
: The deal was off April 9th. Rachel Jansen
: Well the deal's back on! Ray
: You think you're the chief of this island! I'm the chief of this island! Peter Bretter
: I know his friend, let me handle it Rachel Jansen
: Fine. Peter Bretter
: Hey man you remember me? Helpful Hawaiian Waiter
: The cocktail guy
[He punches Peter
: Ray what are you doing here?
[Ray backhands him, Kemo backhands him back
] Are you sleeping? Rachel Jansen
: Not anymore. Peter Bretter
: I really enjoyed spending time with you Rachel Jansen
: Me too.
: [about his rock opera
] Why Dracula? Peter Bretter
: Because he's a man like anyone else. He just wants to be loved. And every time he gets close to a human woman, he ends up smothering and killing her, which is a feeling I am familiar with.
: Why don't you press your feet up against the rock, and like shoot yourself off. Peter Bretter
: What, like a frog? Rachel Jansen
: I don't know Peter, just get off the fucking rock!