Bud Abbott
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Quotes for
Bud Abbott (Character)
from "The Abbott and Costello Show" (1952)

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One Night in the Tropics (1940)
[Costello lights up a cigar]
Abbott: Put that out. There's no smoking in here.
Costello: What makes you think I'm smokin'?
Abbott: You've got a cigar in your mouth!
Costello: I've got shoes on... don't mean I'm walkin'.

Costello: He's gonna make a wonderful husband.
Abbott: You don't even know what a husband is.
Costello: A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.


"The Abbott and Costello Show: The Politician (#1.16)" (1953)
Bud Abbott: This boy doesn't put himself with any party.
Lou Costello: That's right!
Bud Abbott: Is he republican? No! Is he a Democrat? No! He's in between the two.
Audience Member: [shouting] He sure is. He eats like an elephant and thinks like a jackass!


"The Abbott and Costello Show: The Drugstore (#1.1)" (1952)
[Bud and Lou walk out onstage and a woman holds up a sign listing guest stars in front of Lou's face]
Bud Abbott: What's a matter?
Lou Costello: She put the whole sign right in front of my puss.
Bud Abbott: Well, there's other people in the cast besides ourselves.
Lou Costello: She didn't put it in front of your face.
Bud Abbott: Well, what is the difference.
Lou Costello: What, are you a high-class guy or something? I mean, don't put in front of my face. I want to look at all the people out here.
Bud Abbott: They see enough of your face.


"The Abbott and Costello Show: The Western Story (#1.11)" (1953)
Lou Costello: Hey, Abbott, isn't it beautiful country out here?
Bud Abbott: Wonderful.
Lou Costello: Look at all those cows out there. Get that big bunch of cows.
Bud Abbott: Not bunch - herd.
Lou Costello: Huh?
Bud Abbott: Cow herd.
Lou Costello: I beg your pardon?
Bud Abbott: Cow herd.
Lou Costello: Cow heard what?
Bud Abbott: Not herd what - cow herd.
Lou Costello: Cow heard what? I said look at that big bunch of cows out there.
Bud Abbott: Not bunch - herd! Herd of cows!
Lou Costello: Certainly I heard of cows, you dope. Any fool knows a cow when he sees it. That's a good bunch of cows I said.
Bud Abbott: It's a herd of cows.
Lou Costello: Yeah, I heard of cows.
Bud Abbott: That's what they are.
Lou Costello: A bunch of cows?
Bud Abbott: Sure, a bunch is a herd.
Lou Costello: A bunch is a herd?
Bud Abbott: Certainly. What's the matter?
Lou Costello: Like bananas. Look at that bananas of cows out there.