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Quotes for
Pat Brady (Character)
from "The Roy Rogers Show" (1951)

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"The Roy Rogers Show: Carnival Killer (#1.22)" (1952)
Mary Barton: These mules are sure onery!
Roy Rogers: My partner here claims he knows a lot about mules. Maybe we can get him to help.
Jake: Yeah, he looks kinda mule-eared to me.
Pat Brady: Listen here, sonny. I was skinnin' mules when you was wearin' diapers as goin'-to-meetin' clothes. Let me at 'em!

[while rehearsing his bullwhip act, Joe deftly coils his whip around Pat's face]
Joe: You didn't feel that did you?
Pat Brady: No, I didn't!
Roy Rogers: Where there's, ah, no sense, there's no feeling.

[Pat reluctantly agrees to be the target in Joe's bullwhip act]
Dale Evans: We'll see you later, Pat. If we see a man walking around with no head on, we'll know who it is.
Pat Brady: Yeah, and if you see a head rollin' around singin', "I Ain't Got Nobody" you'll know whose it is.

[Pat is reluctant to serve as the bait in Roy's trap]
Pat Brady: Are you sure you know what you're doin'?
Roy Rogers: I'll be right behind the fence. If you get in any trouble, I'll know it before you do.
Pat Brady: You and your ideas. I feel like the little brown hen who was fixin' to catch the hawk.


"The Roy Rogers Show: Horse Crazy (#5.11)" (1956)
[Pat smashes the bottles he missed during target practice]
Pat Brady: I guess that'll teach you to dodge when I'm a-shootin'!

Sheriff Tom Blodgett: Well, if it isn't Cool Wilson.
Dale Evans: How'd you capture him, Pat?
Pat Brady: Aw, it was nothin'. First, I cornered him. Oh, he fought like a tiger, but I gve him a left, then a right, then I... then... aww, I was chasin' him and he tripped.

Pat Brady: I don't get it, Roy. First you spend all your time gunnin' for that guy, then you end up by bein' the best of buddies.
Roy Rogers: Why not? Bein' mad never helped you get your man.

[last lines]
Pat Brady: Sure, you like a person, so you start chasin' him. Then you catch him to show him how friendly you are. Then you... Mustard and custard! I still don't get it!


"The Roy Rogers Show: M Stands for Murder (#3.6)" (1953)
Roy Rogers: One-Arm Johnny!
Dale Evans: One-Arm Johnny? Oh, it can't be!
Roy Rogers: Look!
Pat Brady: Well, what's so excitin' about a fellow with one arm? Let me see.
Dale Evans: It is.
Pat Brady: Well, gee-willikers. He's all white-like and leadin' a burro.
Roy Rogers: The legend is that whoever sees him usually ends up murdered.
Pat Brady: Oh? Murdered?... Murdered! And I seen him. Come on, Nellybelle, let's get out of here!

Roy Rogers: You don't believe those old stories, do you Sheriff?
Pat Brady: What do you mean old stories? Nobody tells me nothin'!
Roy Rogers: Well, Pat, back in 1872, One-Arm Johnny Martin was killed on his way back to the Apache gold mine which he claimed he discovered.
Dale Evans: And since that time, a number of people have claimed to have seen his ghost.
Roy Rogers: And everyone of 'em met up with some kind of fatal accident.

[Dale has found Roy's "lost" neckerchief]
Pat Brady: Oh, gee whiz, that's a relief. I could just feel that silk neckerchief around my Adam's apple making beautiful applesauce.


"The Roy Rogers Show: Loaded Guns (#2.11)" (1953)
Martin Kelsey: Hey, you with the high heels and the low forehead! Take my bag, too!
Pat Brady: What's the matter with you, Mister? Your arm broke?
Martin Kelsey: The young lady's with me. Miss Kelsey is my niece.
Pat Brady: Well, I'm sure she's as happy about that as a woodpecker with a sore bill.

Martin Kelsey: How's your jaw?
Pat Brady: It don't bother me enough to keep me from waggin' it at the right time.


"The Roy Rogers Show: The Desert Fugitive (#1.8)" (1952)
Roy Rogers: Where is Dale, Pat?
Pat Brady: I was hopin' you'd ask me that. A woman government agent came here and got Dale.
Roy Rogers: A woman government agent?
Pat Brady: Yeah, they went to see this woman's superior about them papers. They oughta be back any minute, though, 'cause Dale was drivin' Nellybelle.
Roy Rogers: Well, Sheriff, we might as well sit down and coffee up, 'cause if she's drivin' Nellybelle, we have quite a wait in store.

[last lines]
Pat Brady: With the a-thority not invested in me by the country, or the state, or the county or even the citizens of Mineral City, I present you, Nellybelle Brady, with the honorary rank of Sergeant-Major of the Wackess.


Man from Music Mountain (1943)
Pat Brady: Hmmm, very grave. Very grave. The fibula and the tibula have gone haywire. His cerebellum has suffered a cranial cataclysm. I'm afraid that miosterial gravis with neocropsy might set in.

Christina: So you're what the public's going crazy about. A singing cowboy.
Pat Brady: I resent that, ma'am. I'll have you know that in my day I was one of the most daring riders of the range. Why, I've looked death right in the face.
Christina: That must have been pretty horrible. For both of you.


"The Roy Rogers Show: Unwilling Outlaw (#1.10)" (1952)
[Pat's cantankerous jeep, Nellybelle, has broken down once again]
Pat Brady: Gee, Dale, I don't know what to say.
Dale Evans: Well, you sure knew what to say when you talked me into comin' with you in this contraption instead of lettin' me ride Buttermilk.
Pat Brady: Now you know, Dale, if you'd have taken your horse, you'd never have gotten to the Collins' place with all this grub and stuff!
Dale Evans: I'm getting there now?

[last lines]
Lucy Collins: What's the matter with you, Mr. Pat?
Pat Brady: Well, how about lettin' me in some of this hero stuff. Dadgumit, I got enough bullet holes in my cook's hat's to use it for a soup strainer!
Lucy Collins: You can be my hero, Dimples.
Roy Rogers: Looks like Pat's really enjoyin' this hero stuff - aren't you, Dimples?


Sunset Serenade (1942)
Gabby: Some job. I don't mind doin' a gal a favor, but all we do is ride. Burnin' up good energy and saddle leather!
Pat Brady: You been burnin' up her food, too, ain't you? Why, you're gorged to the gills right now.
Bob: All he can hear is the dinner bell. Two helpings of stew he had, and last night I saw him take a whole pie and hide it in the garbage chute.
Gabby: Awww, I never did...
[suddenly realizing]
Gabby: Garbage chute! I thought that was a cooler!


Ridin' Down the Canyon (1942)
[Gabby and Pat have crashed Gabby's car]
Pat: Why, you misplaced son of a half-witted hurricane, you've killed me!
Gabby: Awww, shucks, you ain't hurt none. A little shakin'-up's good for your liver. Well, what are you going to do about my car now that you've wrecked it?
Pat: What am I gonna to do about it? I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got!
Gabby: [gesturing toward his car] Well, that's all I got! Sue me.