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: These mules are sure onery! Roy Rogers
: My partner here claims he knows a lot about mules. Maybe we can get him to help. Jake
: Yeah, he looks kinda mule-eared to me. Pat Brady
: Listen here, sonny. I was skinnin' mules when you was wearin' diapers as goin'-to-meetin' clothes. Let me at 'em!
[while rehearsing his bullwhip act, Joe deftly coils his whip around Pat's face
: You didn't feel that did you? Pat Brady
: No, I didn't! Roy Rogers
: Where there's, ah, no sense, there's no feeling.
[Pat reluctantly agrees to be the target in Joe's bullwhip act
] Dale Evans
: We'll see you later, Pat. If we see a man walking around with no head on, we'll know who it is. Pat Brady
: Yeah, and if you see a head rollin' around singin', "I Ain't Got Nobody" you'll know whose it is.
[Pat is reluctant to serve as the bait in Roy's trap
] Pat Brady
: Are you sure you know what you're doin'? Roy Rogers
: I'll be right behind the fence. If you get in any trouble, I'll know it before you do. Pat Brady
: You and your ideas. I feel like the little brown hen who was fixin' to catch the hawk.
[Pat smashes the bottles he missed during target practice
] Pat Brady
: I guess that'll teach you to dodge when I'm a-shootin'!
Sheriff Tom Blodgett
: Well, if it isn't Cool Wilson. Dale Evans
: How'd you capture him, Pat? Pat Brady
: Aw, it was nothin'. First, I cornered him. Oh, he fought like a tiger, but I gve him a left, then a right, then I... then... aww, I was chasin' him and he tripped.
: I don't get it, Roy. First you spend all your time gunnin' for that guy, then you end up by bein' the best of buddies. Roy Rogers
: Why not? Bein' mad never helped you get your man.
] Pat Brady
: Sure, you like a person, so you start chasin' him. Then you catch him to show him how friendly you are. Then you... Mustard and custard! I still don't get it!
: One-Arm Johnny! Dale Evans
: One-Arm Johnny? Oh, it can't be! Roy Rogers
: Look! Pat Brady
: Well, what's so excitin' about a fellow with one arm? Let me see. Dale Evans
: It is. Pat Brady
: Well, gee-willikers. He's all white-like and leadin' a burro. Roy Rogers
: The legend is that whoever sees him usually ends up murdered. Pat Brady
: Oh? Murdered?... Murdered! And I seen him. Come on, Nellybelle, let's get out of here!
: You don't believe those old stories, do you Sheriff? Pat Brady
: What do you mean old stories? Nobody tells me nothin'! Roy Rogers
: Well, Pat, back in 1872, One-Arm Johnny Martin was killed on his way back to the Apache gold mine which he claimed he discovered. Dale Evans
: And since that time, a number of people have claimed to have seen his ghost. Roy Rogers
: And everyone of 'em met up with some kind of fatal accident.
[Dale has found Roy's "lost" neckerchief
] Pat Brady
: Oh, gee whiz, that's a relief. I could just feel that silk neckerchief around my Adam's apple making beautiful applesauce.
: Hey, you with the high heels and the low forehead! Take my bag, too! Pat Brady
: What's the matter with you, Mister? Your arm broke? Martin Kelsey
: The young lady's with me. Miss Kelsey is my niece. Pat Brady
: Well, I'm sure she's as happy about that as a woodpecker with a sore bill.
: How's your jaw? Pat Brady
: It don't bother me enough to keep me from waggin' it at the right time.
: Where is Dale, Pat? Pat Brady
: I was hopin' you'd ask me that. A woman government agent came here and got Dale. Roy Rogers
: A woman government agent? Pat Brady
: Yeah, they went to see this woman's superior about them papers. They oughta be back any minute, though, 'cause Dale was drivin' Nellybelle. Roy Rogers
: Well, Sheriff, we might as well sit down and coffee up, 'cause if she's drivin' Nellybelle, we have quite a wait in store.
] Pat Brady
: With the a-thority not invested in me by the country, or the state, or the county or even the citizens of Mineral City, I present you, Nellybelle Brady, with the honorary rank of Sergeant-Major of the Wackess.
: Hmmm, very grave. Very grave. The fibula and the tibula have gone haywire. His cerebellum has suffered a cranial cataclysm. I'm afraid that miosterial gravis with neocropsy might set in.
: So you're what the public's going crazy about. A singing cowboy. Pat Brady
: I resent that, ma'am. I'll have you know that in my day I was one of the most daring riders of the range. Why, I've looked death right in the face. Christina
: That must have been pretty horrible. For both of you.
[Pat's cantankerous jeep, Nellybelle, has broken down once again
] Pat Brady
: Gee, Dale, I don't know what to say. Dale Evans
: Well, you sure knew what to say when you talked me into comin' with you in this contraption instead of lettin' me ride Buttermilk. Pat Brady
: Now you know, Dale, if you'd have taken your horse, you'd never have gotten to the Collins' place with all this grub and stuff! Dale Evans
: I'm getting there now?
] Lucy Collins
: What's the matter with you, Mr. Pat? Pat Brady
: Well, how about lettin' me in some of this hero stuff. Dadgumit, I got enough bullet holes in my cook's hat's to use it for a soup strainer! Lucy Collins
: You can be my hero, Dimples. Roy Rogers
: Looks like Pat's really enjoyin' this hero stuff - aren't you, Dimples?
: Some job. I don't mind doin' a gal a favor, but all we do is ride. Burnin' up good energy and saddle leather! Pat Brady
: You been burnin' up her food, too, ain't you? Why, you're gorged to the gills right now. Bob
: All he can hear is the dinner bell. Two helpings of stew he had, and last night I saw him take a whole pie and hide it in the garbage chute. Gabby
: Awww, I never did...
: Garbage chute! I thought that was a cooler!
[Gabby and Pat have crashed Gabby's car
: Why, you misplaced son of a half-witted hurricane, you've killed me! Gabby
: Awww, shucks, you ain't hurt none. A little shakin'-up's good for your liver. Well, what are you going to do about my car now that you've wrecked it? Pat
: What am I gonna to do about it? I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got! Gabby
: [gesturing toward his car
] Well, that's all I got! Sue me.