Queenan
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Quotes for
Queenan (Character)
from The Departed (2006)

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The Departed (2006)
Oliver Queenan: Congratulations on passing the detectives' exam, and welcome to the Special Investigation Unit.
Dignam: Whoop-de-fuckin'-do.

Dignam: Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right?
Dignam: [Billy does not answer] Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.
Billy Costigan: You a psychiatrist?
Dignam: Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?
Billy Costigan: Families are always rising or falling in America, am I right?
Oliver Queenan: Who said that?
Billy Costigan: Hawthorne.
Dignam: [Dignam makes a farting sound] What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

Oliver Queenan: Okay, kid. Let's do this. Come on, spread 'em.
[Queenan begins searching Costigan]
Dignam: Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play? That guy, Jimmy Bags whose jaw you broke happens to work undercover for the Boston Police Department.
Billy Costigan: I'm going fucking nuts, man. I can't be someone else every fuckin' day. It's been a year of this. I've had enough of this shit!
Dignam: Calm down, alright? Most people in the world do it every day. What's the big deal?
Billy Costigan: Well, I'm not them, alright? I'm not fucking them, okay?
Dignam: Exactly. You're nobody. You signed the papers, remember? Now we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How about we just erase your file, huh? How 'bout that? How about we erase your file and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies. Huh? What do you say we do that, Captain?
Billy Costigan: How about I fucking kill you, huh? How about I fucking kill you!
Oliver Queenan: That was a joke. Come on!
Dignam: That wasn't a joke. Just because you play a tough guy, doesn't mean you are one you lace-curtain, Irish fucking pussy!
[Costigan punches Dignam]
Oliver Queenan: Hey, hey! Stop it! Break it up! Stop it!
Billy Costigan: [to Dignam] Fuck you, motherfucker!
Oliver Queenan: Goddamn it, stop it! That's an order!
[fighting stops]
Oliver Queenan: For chrissake, be smart. If anybody's watching us now, how are we not supposed to arrest you? Come on, get in the car. Both of you, get in the car!

Oliver Queenan: [as Billy runs away, and protects him from Costello's goons] One of you mugs got a light.
Fitzy: Where's your boy?
Oliver Queenan: He's studying law at Notre Dame.
Fitzy: Where's your fucking boy?
Fitzy: [grabs Queenan] Goddamn motherfucker! Now where's your fucking boy?

Oliver Queenan: Do you know what we do here? My section?
Billy Costigan: Sir, yes, sir. I have an idea...
Dignam: [interrupting] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts?
Oliver Queenan: Staff Sergeant Dignam has a style of his own. I'm afraid we all have to get used to it.

Oliver Queenan: We have a question: Do you want to be a cop, or do you want to appear to be a cop? It's an honest question. A lot of guys just want to appear to be cops. Gun, badge, pretend they're on TV.
Dignam: Yeah, a lot of people just wanna slam a nigger's head through a plate-glass window.
Billy Costigan: I'm all set without your own personal job application. Alright, Sergeant?
Dignam: What the fuck did you say to me, trainee?
Billy Costigan: [to Queenan] With all due respect, sir, what do you want from me?
Dignam: Hey asshole, he can't help you! I know what you are, okay? I know what you are and I know what you are not. I'm the best friend you have on the face of this earth, and I'm gonna help you understand something, you punk. You're no fuckin' cop!

Oliver Queenan: All cell phone signals are under surveillance, due to the courtesy of our Federal friends over there.
Ellerby: Patriot Act, Patriot Act! I love it, I love it, I love it!

Oliver Queenan: You're a worker. You rise fast.
Dignam: Like a 12-year-old's dick.

Billy Costigan: No, I gotta get out. I can't be doing this anymore. You know what's gonna happen?
Oliver Queenan: What?
Billy Costigan: I know he's gonna find out who I am and he's gonna fucking kill me.
Oliver Queenan: I'm really sorry... I swear to God I am. I'll get you out of this. It won't be immediately but I will get you out. Two weeks at most.

Billy Costigan: When are you gonna take Costello, huh?
[animated]
Billy Costigan: I mean, what's wrong with taking him on any one of the
[yelling]
Billy Costigan: million fucking felonies that you've seen him do, or I've seen him do? I mean, I mean, he murdered somebody, right? The guy fucking murders somebody, and you don't fucking take him! What are you waiting for, honestly? I mean, do you want him to chop me up and feed me to the poor? Is that what you guys want?
Dignam: [sarcasm] Yeah, well that might stick.
Oliver Queenan: [to Dignam] Will you shut up?

Oliver Queenan: We deal in deception here. What we do not deal with is self-deception.