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Quotes for
Chiun (Character)
from Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)

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Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)
Chiun: Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, manchild.
Major Rayner Fleming: [to Remo] I see you both went to the same charm school.

[Remo dangles from a car on the Wonder Wheel]
Remo Williams: Jesus!
Chiun: Concentrate! This is NO time for prayer!

Chiun: You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.

Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...
Remo Williams: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.
Chiun: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I want to eat them.

Chiun: You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.

Chiun: Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
Chiun: Of course. I am Chiun.
Remo Williams: And there are times when I could really kill you.
Chiun: Good! We will practice that after dinner.

Remo Williams: Are you hurt?
Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?
Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf. You drive like a monkey in heat.

Chiun: The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.

Chiun: Professional assassination. It's the highest form of public service.

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.
Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain!

Remo Williams: Chiun, you're incredible!
Chiun: No! I am better than that.

Chiun: Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you.

Remo Williams: Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?
[Outraged, Chiun strikes Remo in his solar plexus. Remo stumbles to the window, partially paralyzed, and in pain]
Chiun: Chinese! *Korean* is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.

Chiun: Place your hands behind your head.
[Remo complies, then doubles over from a blow from Chiun, too fast to be seen ]
Chiun: I did not say keep them there. Your reflexes are pitiful! The seasons move faster.

Remo Williams: [Remo hears Chiun singing a song in Korean] Is it painful?
Chiun: I was singing an old Korean love song.
Remo Williams: It's a wonder the race isn't extinct.

[Chiun pulls the trigger on a revolver, click, click, click]
Remo Williams: You used the other four yesterday.
Chiun: [Chiun fires a round nearly hitting Remo in the head] I reloaded.

Chiun: Karate, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu - they are but shadows. Sinanju is the Sun.

Remo Williams: I've got a job to do.
Chiun: Remo!
[whispers in Remo's ear]
Chiun: Do not embarrass us.
Remo Williams: I won't... Little Father.

Chiun: Do you know why Americans call it fast food?
[Remo shakes his head "no."]
Chiun: Because it speeds them on the way to the grave.
[Chiun laughs at his little joke. Remo doesn't laugh]
Chiun: As I feared; you have no sense of humor.

Conn MacCleary: [referring to Remo] Well, Chiun? What do you think?
Chiun: He's very slow. His reflexes are pitiful; poorly coordinated. He's in wretched physical condition, impetuous, and clumsy. He moves like a baboon with two club feet! However, there is a feeble glint of promise in his eyes. I think I can do something with him.
Conn MacCleary: Good.

Chiun: Remember, perfection is a road, not a destination.

Chiun: [having just sprinted across the surface of a lake] You must run *very* fast.

Remo Williams: How old are you? I mean really, you are old, now aren't you?
Chiun: For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. For a mountain, I have not even begun in years. For a man, I am just right.

Chiun: I do not wear glasses so that I may see. I wear glasses so that I may see... more.

Chiun: In Korea, door handles do not come off.


Remo Williams: The Prophecy (1988) (TV)
Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, a real parting gesture would be teaching me lesson 36...
Chiun: Lesson 36 in hand of beginner could be dangerous.
Remo Williams: Ah, come on. How could the 47 steps to bringing a woman to ecstasy be dangerous?
Chiun: You... would find a way.

Chiun: It's astonishing how one so pitiful is yet so proud.