The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, manchild. Major Rayner Fleming
: [to Remo
] I see you both went to the same charm school.
[Remo dangles from a car on the Wonder Wheel
] Remo Williams
: Jesus! Chiun
: Concentrate! This is NO time for prayer!
: You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.
: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti... Remo Williams
: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it. Chiun
: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I want to eat them.
: You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
: Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.
: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you. Chiun
: Of course. I am Chiun. Remo Williams
: And there are times when I could really kill you. Chiun
: Good! We will practice that after dinner.
: Are you hurt? Chiun
: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son. Remo Williams
: What? What did you call me? Chiun
: I called you a clumsy oaf. You drive like a monkey in heat.
: The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.
: Professional assassination. It's the highest form of public service.
: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass. Chiun
: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain!
: Chiun, you're incredible! Chiun
: No! I am better than that.
: Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you.
: Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?
[Outraged, Chiun strikes Remo in his solar plexus. Remo stumbles to the window, partially paralyzed, and in pain
: Chinese! *Korean* is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.
: Place your hands behind your head.
[Remo complies, then doubles over from a blow from Chiun, too fast to be seen
: I did not say keep them there. Your reflexes are pitiful! The seasons move faster.
: [Remo hears Chiun singing a song in Korean
] Is it painful? Chiun
: I was singing an old Korean love song. Remo Williams
: It's a wonder the race isn't extinct.
[Chiun pulls the trigger on a revolver, click, click, click
] Remo Williams
: You used the other four yesterday. Chiun
: [Chiun fires a round nearly hitting Remo in the head
] I reloaded.
: Karate, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu - they are but shadows. Sinanju is the Sun.
: I've got a job to do. Chiun
[whispers in Remo's ear
: Do not embarrass us. Remo Williams
: I won't... Little Father.
: Do you know why Americans call it fast food?
[Remo shakes his head "no."
: Because it speeds them on the way to the grave.
[Chiun laughs at his little joke. Remo doesn't laugh
: As I feared; you have no sense of humor.
: [referring to Remo
] Well, Chiun? What do you think? Chiun
: He's very slow. His reflexes are pitiful; poorly coordinated. He's in wretched physical condition, impetuous, and clumsy. He moves like a baboon with two club feet! However, there is a feeble glint of promise in his eyes. I think I can do something with him. Conn MacCleary
: Remember, perfection is a road, not a destination.
: [having just sprinted across the surface of a lake
] You must run *very* fast.
: How old are you? I mean really, you are old, now aren't you? Chiun
: For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. For a mountain, I have not even begun in years. For a man, I am just right.
: I do not wear glasses so that I may see. I wear glasses so that I may see... more.
: In Korea, door handles do not come off.
: You know, Chiun, a real parting gesture would be teaching me lesson 36... Chiun
: Lesson 36 in hand of beginner could be dangerous. Remo Williams
: Ah, come on. How could the 47 steps to bringing a woman to ecstasy be dangerous? Chiun
: You... would find a way.
: It's astonishing how one so pitiful is yet so proud.