Puss in Boots
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Quotes for
Puss in Boots (Character)
from Shrek 2 (2004)

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Puss in Boots (2011)
[from trailer]
[Puss in Boots removes his hat, cloak and sword]
Puss in Boots: All that I need, are the boots!

[from trailer]
Puss in Boots: My name would become legend...

[from trailer]
[Puss jumps over a steeple, the tip scraping his tail]
Puss in Boots: [shaken] Holy frijoles...

[from trailer]
Jack: I hate cats!
Puss in Boots: That's not what your mama said!
Ohhh Cat: Ooooooohhhhhh!

[from trailer]
Jill: [dangles Puss over a canyon] Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?
Puss in Boots: No! That is just a rumour, spread by dogs!

[a man begins to strip to show Puss a tattoo of the golden eggs]
Puss in Boots: NO! Please, you have... shown enough.

[from trailer]
Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!

[from trailer]
Puss in Boots: My thirst for adventure will never be quenched!

Puss in Boots: You have made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!

Puss in Boots: Kitty? You are not as good as they say. You are better!

Puss in Boots: I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws!
Kitty Softpaws: Sooner than you think.
[Puss realizes that Kitty has his boots]
Puss in Boots: She is a bad kitty.

Puss in Boots: Don't make the cat angry...

Raoul: [taking an inventory of Puss in Boots' items before placing him in jail] ... one bottle of catnip!
Puss in Boots: It's for my glaucoma.

Puss in Boots: How *dare* you do the Litter Box at me?

Kitty Softpaws: [In a calm voice] You owe me.
Puss in Boots: I owe you?
Kitty Softpaws: [starts to flirt with Puss] Uh-huh. You hit me in the head with a guitar.
Puss in Boots: I, uh, regret the guitar.
Kitty Softpaws: Okay, I forgive you.

[Of Humpty Dumpty]
Puss in Boots: I always knew you were good inside.

Humpty Dumpty: I'm not a person. I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
Puss in Boots: You are what you have always been: my brother.

Shrek the Third (2007)
Donkey: [Donkey and Puss in Boots have switched bodies] I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting second-rate sidekick!
Puss in Boots: At least you don't look like a bloated roadside piñata. You really need to go on a diet.
Donkey: And you really need to get yourself a pair of pants! I feel all exposed and nasty!

Puss in Boots: [after Shrek throws Donkey out the door] Some people just don't understand boundaries.
[Shrek then throws Puss out. Puss does his cat screech, then the eyes]

Puss in Boots: [after switching bodies with Donkey] Ye haw.
Donkey: Oh, you'll learn to control that!

Puss in Boots: [Puss says to Shrek as the ship leaves] Well my friend, you are royally...
[loud horn blast]

Puss in Boots: How can you be a reciever of the wedgies, when you are clearly not a wearer of the underpants?
Donkey: Let's just say some things are better left unsaid.

Puss in Boots: I don't know you, but I'd like to.

Puss in Boots: [talking to a female kitten] It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life.
Female kitty cat: Meeaow.
Puss in Boots: [to several kitty cats] As are you... And, uh, you... And, oops, you... And I... err... I don't know you but I'd like to.
A bunch of female kitty cats: Meeaow.
Puss in Boots: I gotta go!

Puss in Boots: The Frog King is dead.

Artie: Did you say you were looking for Arthur?
Puss in Boots: That information is on a need to know basis.
Donkey: It's top secret. Hushity-hush.

Shrek: I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happened?
Puss in Boots: Allow me to explain. When a man falls in love with a woman, he is overcome with powerful urges...
Shrek: I know how it happened! I just can't believe it.
Donkey: [to Puss] How does it happen?

Puss in Boots: If he were real, could I do this?
[Digs claws into Shrek's leg, Shrek tries to hold in his pain]
Shrek: Ah! Oww!
Donkey: Or this?
[Kicks Shrek's other leg, Shrek moans]
Shrek: If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful.
Donkey: Now watch this!
Shrek: [Restrains Donkey and Puss] That's quite enough, boys!

Puss in Boots (1988)
Puss: These boots will change our lives, Master.

Puss: Two feet... They're not as easy as I thought they'd be, Master.

Puss: A gift from my most noble lord, the Marquis of Carabas!

Son: Imagine giving you the sausage, Puss. I should make a sausage out of you. You'd make... one decent meal, and a fur cap. Is that all you can do for me, Puss? A sausage and a fur cap...
Puss: [hisses] Get me some proper boots and you won't lack for fur caps, nor for decent meals, nor for anything else.
[squints and disappears]

Princess Vera: Well, you're not my master! I'm free to risk my life if I wish to!
Puss: And I'd like permission to risk mine!
Son: That's easy for you to say, you've got 8 more to go!
Puss: Tch, well!

Shrek Forever After (2010)
Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
[Both laugh]

Puss in Boots: Feed me, if you dare.

Shrek: [upon seeing the obese Puss] Puss, what happened to you? You got so fa...
[Puss gives a stinky look]
Shrek: fa... ncy!
Puss in Boots: Do I know you?
Shrek: Where's your hat? Where's your belt? Your wee little boots?
Puss in Boots: Boots? For a cat? Ha!
Shrek: But you're Puss in Boots.
Puss in Boots: Maybe once. But that is a name I have outgrown.
Shrek: That's not the only thing you've outgrown.
Puss in Boots: Hey! I may have let myself go a little since my retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life. I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase.
[a mouse runs up and drinks from Puss' bowl]
Puss in Boots: Eh. I'll get him later.

Thriller Night (2011)
[first lines]
Shrek: [bursts out of the cinema] For the love of Gingy, make it stop! I can't get it out of my head!
Donkey: Yo-ho, yodelei-yodelei! Yodelei!
Puss in Boots: Ole!

Donkey: Okay, fine, Mister King of Halloween, what DID you want to see tonight?
Shrek: Oh, I don't know, something with MUMMIES, or a man-eating plant, or even a zombie or two!
Donkey: Zombies don't know how to sing "yodelei-yodelei..." !
Shrek: [stuffs a popcorn bag in Donkey's snout] That is my point!
Puss in Boots: Why do we not have both: a scary musical!
Donkey: Yeah, and guess who's starring in it too?
[everything goes dark]
Shrek: Now what?

Puss in Boots: Darkness falls across the land / The midnight hour is close at hand / Creatures crawl in search of blood / To terrorize y'all's neighbourhood / And whosoever shall be found / Without the soul for getting down / Must stand and face the hounds of hell / And rot inside a corpse's shell. / The foulest stench is in the air / The funk of 40,000 years / And grizzy ghouls from every tomb / Are closing in to seal your doom / And though you fight to stay alive / Your body starts to shiver / For no mere mortal can resist / The evil of the thriller.

Scared Shrekless (2010) (TV)
Donkey: Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even a little bit scared?
Princess Fiona: Donkey, ogres don't get scared. We do the scaring.
Shrek: And that's why we're the kings of Halloween.
Donkey: I beat we can find something that will scare the pants off you!
Wolf: Which would scare me.
Shrek: Oh, really? And what do you have in mind?
Donkey: All of us telling scary stories all night long. There ain't no way you won't be scared.
Puss in Boots: Yes! Stories to make your blood run cold!
Donkey: Yeah!
Puss in Boots: Stories to terrify you.
Donkey: Yeah!
Puss in Boots: And whoever shall last through the night shall be called the king of Halloween.
Shrek: I accept.
Donkey: We doubly accept.

Puss in Boots: Back when the lights came back on, it was the donkey taking a shower!
Donkey: Oh, my goodness! Why would I do that?
Puss in Boots: Ha ha! And right behind you, there was danger!
Donkey: Oh, man.
Puss in Boots: You were paralyzed!
Donkey: [screams]
Puss in Boots: It was a donkey-eating waffle. It was packing heat, and it wanted revenge.
Waffle: I want revenge!
Puss in Boots: The donkey ran. But how far can you run when you're on a plate covered in butter wearing a pink tutu?
Donkey: No!
Puss in Boots: And a sombrero. And a coconut brassiere. And about to be eaten alive!
Donkey: No, please! Please, I'll switch to pancakes! Aah!
Waffle: [swallows Donkey] Num, num, num!
Puss in Boots: And the donkey was never seen again.

Shrek the Halls (2007) (TV)
Puss in Boots: In my homeland, we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicolas / He's not made of waffles / This Santa was suave / He was nothing like that / The Santa I know / Was a hot Latin cat! / He was dressed all in fur / From his head to his paws / And he stood there heroic, / A real Santa... Claws. / Red are his boots / And so is his cape; / His sword is a cane / That tastes like crabcake. / He wears a fine belt / And a leather cravat / And there's a cute, fuzzy thing / Which hangs down from his... hat.
[purring and tapping on bell]
Puss in Boots: [Comes to] I have shamed myself.

Puss in Boots (1982) (TV)
Murlis Boozer: Say, I didn't know cats could sing.
Puss: Betcha never asked 'em. Ain't ya got no curiosity?
Murlis Boozer: Yeah, I heard that killed a relative of yours!
Puss: Lies and slander! Lies and slander!

Far Far Away Idol (2004) (V)
Puss In Boots: [singing] You keep saying, you got something for me/Something that you call love, but confess.
[he jumps out of his boots after Tinkerbell enchants them with pixie dust and they move in sync with his feet beside him as he continues]
Puss In Boots: These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do... Arriba!/Cos one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!
[he backflips into his boots]
Simon Cowell: Well, the cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote.
[turns over to see that Shrek and Fiona have gone on stage]
Simon Cowell: Ugh, always breaking the rules.